I feel a little embarassed to talk to people. any suggestions?

Question

I am not a native speaker and I am a little embarassed to talk to native speakers. And I think they think that I am a mean person. How do I get over that barrier. I am afraid to speak to them wholeheartedly not to make any grammatical mistakes. And sometimes I try to make my sentences as short as possible so they dont notice my accent. Is this just me?

Answer 1

Already I can tell that I would much rather talk to you than most people that speak my native language. You make less grammatical errors than most people around here.

I don't know any specific ways to get over being embarrassed, but I would say try not to worry about it. Most people enjoy others' accents. You sound like you have a great grasp on the language, so just be confident.

Answer 2

Well, look friendly without being gushy or too eager, seeing as you are a guy. Be polite, and look interested. Don't smile over-much, guys don't do that sort of thing. Just be dignified and look interested, look people in the eye a little bit, not so much that it is odd. Notice how often and how long native speakers look others in the eye, men to men and men to women, and copy that length of time.

Certainly don't apologize for your English too much. Remember, Americans usually only know their own language, English, and would be stumbling around miserably if they attempted to speak the foreign language they had to take in high school. At least you are trying!!

It's appropriate for a guy to speak in short sentences-- so many men do. Often, men are brief, so that's not so odd. The downside of that is that you appear to be judging other people because you are so quiet. My ex-husband noticed this tendency in the reactions of other people to him because he doesn't talk much. He could tell he made people uncomfortable because he was so quiet.

Answer 3

First of all, why would they think you are mean? To overcome this barrier of being embarressed, I would take some sort of speech class. You must have some friends or know some people who are native speakers. Tell them about your situation and ask if they can help you. The best way to overcome this is to speak as much as possible. The more practice, the better you'll get at it.

Answer 4

First of all, don't be afraid or worried about your accent which is natural. That will also let other people know to speak clearly
and slowly and to make sure they don't talk too fast.

My godmother has a very thick Vietnamese accent, and used to worry about it. But when she was working with a dialect coach, she was advised to keep her accent because it was "charming." So she works with it instead of trying to change it. It can be interesting and unique, like having different hair or eyes, and does not have to be changed to be like other people -- only when one word sounds too much like another word and it gets confusing; otherwise, there is nothing wrong with having an accent. People will naturally be curious and may ask where you are from and get to know you.

If you approach people by asking "excuse, me, how do you say ___" or what is the word for "____" if you are not sure,
most people take it as a compliment that you would ask their advice in trying to learn from them.

If you smile and wave, you don't needs words to let people know you are trying to be friendly. My friend Ali (who is from Turkey and was often mistaken for Cuban) would always greet people this way so they would know he was friendly and not to be afraid to come up to him. He would do that first.

My friends at work who ask me for help with English all the time, often ask me to spell out the difference between words so they can see it in writing.

So if you start with just a few personal close relationships where you feel comfortable asking for help, you will eventually feel more confident in talking with more and more people.

Answer 5

I had the same problem when I lived in Germany, I hated the thought that they might think I was stupid or slow. But then one of the Germans told me that it wasn't about my bad grammar it was the fact that I was trying to speak their language in the first place that made them happy. Don't be afraid of you accent or grammar, the fact that you are trying a new language is fantastic and any one who matters will appreciate that your trying.

Answer 6

When I am speaking to others in another language, if I get the least hint that they are somehow put off by my command of their language, I invite them to continue the conversation in English. Some of them could, and did.

You can do the same with your own native language. I bet you get fewer takers than I did, whatever the language is.

Answer 7

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