If your man had his baby momma to come by?

Question

I've been with this man for 7yrs and we have two children together but we break up for about 4 months and while we we're break up he got another girl pregnant and now the baby will be 2 years old in Sept. but since then we've done really good and we just got a new home together but today he had his son's mother come by while I was at work to get diapers for the baby....it made me mad b/c I wasn't there Should I have got mad?

Answer 1

u have every reason to be upset they should not be alone in ur house togerther

Answer 2

Probably not. Not for something as small as that. He's with you, not her. Don't get paranoid and make things worse in an already difficult situation. The baby is his too, so he should step up and help out.

Now if he had decided to hide the fact from you that she stopped by, that would be completely different. There's no reason to be mad otherwise. Do you think he can't control himself while you are not around? If so, then you have a problem. You can't be there 24/7, so if you can't trust him, things won't work out long term in this particular case. You have to trust he won't do anything even when you aren't there. If you are getting mad at him just because you weren't there to monitor him, then you're being a bit controlling.

Like I said, if he's honest with you about her stopping by, then you have to give him trust.

Answer 3

Well this depends on how much you trust him. If she wasn't there for long then you shouldn't have got mad at him. But if she is there longer than 5 min just to get something for the baby then yeah you need to be mad. She shouldn't be there no longer than 5 - 10 min. It doesn't take long to run by grab something and leave. It is only right if your there with them if she stays longer. You never know about women these days trust me. But you two have been together for a long time and seem to be working out so there may not be a problem with her. Thank god huh. If he choose you over his baby's mother then your the one he wants and she means nothing to him. So you go girl.

Answer 4

Why did she come by for diapers? Couldn't she have gone to the store just the same? If he is paying child support, that is what the money is for, to buy things the baby needs. Tell him that when you are not there that you don't want her there. Inform him that it isn't out of jealous reasons, but out of respect for you. In another sense though, she will be part of you and him whether you like it or not, they have 16 more years of responsibility together. Good luck! :)

Answer 5

No, you shouldn't get mad because you accepted what happen and you worked things out with him....This baby is very much apart of his life as it is yours....His son's mother will unfortunately have a huge part of his life as well...That's just something you need to learn to deal with...There has to be communication and trust between the both of you in order to deal with issues and situations that may appear when it comes to this....I hope everything works out for the best***

Answer 6

The first issue you need to address is why you two continually break up so much. There is something wrong with a couple who can't work their problems out without breaking up. But since that wasn't your question then let's move on. Why should you be upset that she came when you weren't around? Don't you trust your man? I understand that it is hard to do especially when it comes to the mother of his child, that was born during one of your "breaks" but if you were willing to accept him back knowing what had occurred then that meant you knew at some point he would have to deal with her, possibly when you weren't around. Either get over it and learn to trust him or let it go. You can't spend your life questioning him about his whereabouts or who he's seen during the course of the day when you weren't around. Obviously he told you she came by or else how would you know that she did. He was being honest with you and if something had occurred during the visit, why would he tell you she came by at all? Certainly not to give you a reason to interrogate him. In my opinion you have absolutely no reason to be upset with him. Keep in mind you can't quit your job to monitor him all day, so are you going to be able to trust him in the event he has to be alone with her again at some point in that child's life?

Answer 7

I can see why you got upset, but there was no need for anger. If your man hasn't strayed before don't worry about it. If the child is 2 years old, this relationship happened awhile ago. Who knows, maybe shes in a relationship now and the only time they ever feel the need to see each other is for the well being of the child. It seems like it was just her innocently dropping something off for her child. I would have been a little mad, especially if she doesn't usually stop by. But if nothing happened, no need to worry.

Answer 8

If all she got was diapers, NO. At least he told you about it, so just leave it alone, and go about your business. He can't morally ignore the baby, but don't make an issue and become a nag.

It would seem, from what you have told us, that he is where he wants to be.

Good luck. By the way, take a couple of packages of diapers to the other gal. You know, for emergencies, and then she won't need to come to your house to get them!!!!

Answer 9

I understand that you got mad completely....but she is the mother of his child so it makes things tricky. Im sure it was very innocent...he had to get her some diapers. If it bothers you a lot ask him to meet her somewhere rather than having her come by the house. But you can not tell him that he cant see her just because your not there. Unless its for something other than their child of course.

Answer 10

Well I would be lying if I said I would be mad. Tell him it ticked you off and you would perfer her come by when you are home. However you are going to have to learn to trust him someday, insecurity is the reason you so mad. What he did was disrepectful to your feelings in the matter. The big question is did he tell you or try to hide it? If he told you let the anger go and just tell him in the future what you would like to see happen.

Answer 11

I guess you just have to deal with the consequences of what happens when you break up, but you think he would have taken more precaution in getting this girl pregnant. I guess you can get mad but your going to have to deal with this now that you decided to try and work it out with him again. His ex and the baby are the part of the working it out.