How can you better undestand and deal with Handicapped Friends?

Question

I have a friend with a physical disability. She can't move the right side of her body (she had a stroke, or something similiar when she was just a toddler). I have never met anyone quite like her. Most of my friends with disabilities are fiercely independent and competitive. This person is meek, co-dependent and can be very snappish and mean at times. We have been friends for over a year, but she is starting to wear on me. She's needy, meek, dependent and angry at everyone. When I go places, she gets mad at me because she wants to come along. I have a small car (honda civic) that simply can't fit all her gagets (her wheelchair, a breathing machine, a bag full of medications, etc). I would love to take her to places, but I have to help her eat, put her contraptions together, make sure her breathing machine is working. I just can't handle it anymore. It's too hard. What should I do?

Answer 1

Seems its a conflict of purpose.... how to put this... see she has lost purpose in her life, or better she has lost the ability to make it easy on herself to accomplish her purpose in life. We all deal with this at some level, but it becomes much more intense if you become that dependent. I have a disable friend and he handles as they would say, healthy. What your dealing with unfornatunely is an unhealthy reaction to her problem. It is in the bounds of her choose thou. But you as a true friend don't have to tolerate it. Shoot you shouldn't! The fact is your in a position to make this person change for the better or for the worse. Its all going to come down to how you do it. Its obvious you love her, you feel for her, you care. So let her know that truth, and let her know the truth of how it makes you feel for her to hate to be someone you care so much for. And help her with that anger she has for herself and the people in her life, get her to tell you about it, dig deep! Its hard, it hurts, its not fair, but my god its great when it works! Now go! GO! Talk to her, fight for her!!!