. . . to break off an engagement because his fiance wasn't willing to do something in bed he wants?
I was in love with this girl, we had a great 2 years, but no oral. She wanted to get married. Everything seemed about right, I was open to the idea, and she even told everyone we were getting married (but I hadn't proposed yet) when I got tired of her excuses. I was faced with a long marriage of incomplete sex, and didn't want that. She wasn't willing to compromise, thought I'd get over it. Well, I didn't, and I left her. She blames me now for ruining her life and has said repeatedly that she wants to get back together, but she still won't do that. And it's that important to me. I've moved on. I wish she would. I've decided I'm old enough to know what I want, and that's part of it. I still kinda love her, but I have to put my self-respect first. Was I wrong?
2007-06-19 07:19:54 · 21 answers · asked by Creamer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i see these women just don't get it, yes sex is that important to guys, you did the right thing to move on,
2007-06-19 07:37:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, while I have to say it's rough to break up over just that if everything else was good, I will agree that sex is important enough that it will eventually ruin a marriage if both parties are not happy and satisfied.
It sounds little petty... but down the line... if she still wouldn't do it... and it's THAT important to you... you would cheat eventually and then.. in the end blame her for not doing what you have stated was so important to you.
Sex should not be the most important part of your relationship... but it is a big piece. Odds are, despite the fact it's a tad shallow... you most likely did the right thing.
2007-06-19 14:29:58 · answer #2 · answered by supergirlandguy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you weren't wrong. You aren't the one who decided you were getting married BEFORE you proposed. She did.
It's so important to recognize what you can and cannot live with or without. If oral sex is that important to you, don't marry her. You will spend the rest of your life resenting her for being who she is. You shouldn't try to change her because that will only cause more resentment.
You weren't wrong. You made the right decision. Keep an open mind and I'm sure you will be able to find someone who meets ALL of your needs. Good luck!
2007-06-19 14:26:48 · answer #3 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is tough.
I can't believe you'd leave a marriage for that ONE issue.
But, then again, I can't believe she'd LET that one issue come between the two of you.
She should've compromised.
If you were willing to do all that she desired, then she should've been more willing to do what you craved.
Perhaps she could've gotten some counselling to explore the reasons behind her choice not to do this act for you. Maybe she had some deep issues that needed to be dealt with and then she would've been better equipped to try it.
If you've moved on, great for you. If she hasn't, that's her problem. If you wanted to try working things out, then put down the ground rules: she seeks counselling.
Good luck and take care.
2007-06-19 14:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that was wrong was to be leading her on knowing you wouldn't be willing to give up that part. If she didn't want to do it, and you weren't ok with it - why wait two years and talk about marriage? Sounds like you need to be more clear in your communication, is all. And she needs to get over the self-pity, and go find herself a new man. Two years in a relationship is hardly "ruining a life".
2007-06-19 14:25:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well there are some girls that just won't do that, and you have to respect them. It can be quit disgusting having to do that. It really is not that important in a relationship. Did you do that to her? Sex is not everything, it is a big thing, but something that little was not worth breaking up over. But maybe she was not worth the long haul. You said you grew up but yet you still demand it from your women, how can that be growing up?You could of done other things in the bedroom other than that.
2007-06-19 14:29:33 · answer #6 · answered by dietzc2000 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well...if you fall in love with a woman in the next few years, and everything is PERFECT except you won't let her wear a strap-on and do you in the rear, and she insists or she is going to leave you, what then?
One sexual desire is never enough to ruin something good unless that like is other people, but it's your life, and if you're that shallow then so be it.
Personally, I think she would have come around. But it's better you set her free.
2007-06-19 16:34:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Many people get married thinking that the partner will change and then get upset that they didn't change. I think you did the right thing. To live without something that you really want will only cause problems further down the line.
2007-06-19 15:02:24 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that was the only reason you left her...maybe. I agree with you though-when you know what you want, that's what you should get. No matter what. There are girls out there who don't mind (or love) giving oral. If you don't have any feelings for her anymore, don't get back together...don't lead her on. Let her get over it...she will eventually.
2007-06-19 14:26:02 · answer #9 · answered by Kelly S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no, i don't think so. As long as you broke it off in a decent way then I don't think you have anything to feel bad about. The only thing I would say is how come it took you two years before it became a problem? maybe you should have tried to address the issue earlier.
2007-06-19 14:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by Antonio 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. Sex is important. Did you really want to live your life dreaming of what could have been?
2007-06-19 14:32:19 · answer #11 · answered by ladyleoxox 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋