Can you ever get over a termination? i had one 10 yrs ago @ 17 weeks and i cant forgive myself...?

Answer 1

i had one at 18 weeks.. very hard to get one in nj (where i was at the time) or in any state for the matter.. becoming illegal in alot of places, but possible.. i think they will do up to 24 weeks beleive it or not.. but i never got over it.. i mean, i dont cry every day, but its very upsetting.. my baby was formed, not fully..but you can see features and stuff.. i didnt see it, but i asked the doctor and demanded him to tell me.. i also got a copy of the ultra sound to keep.. without going into too much detail i had to terminate, because i wasnt ready..as for adoption that was an option.. but i didnt know i was pregnant for the first few months ( ihad very irregular periods) and i was always partying and drinking. and was afraid it would have been extremely unhealthy..

im sad all the time.. i think about it constantly.. but i think if i had it, things would have been worse.. i wouldnt be able to support it, and i know i wouldnt have the heart to give it away to someone else without wanting to take it back. everyone has their own reasons.. people always have something rude to say about terminations and people that get them, but they have no right to speak.. there are certian circumstances that everyone has... i knew a girl that was raped.. who got one..in that situation i think it was called for. i wouldnt have kept it..

all in all, you will never forget about it of course and it will always be sad..but you always have time to have another. and you did what you thought was right at the time.

youll be fine. there are many other women out there just like you who deal with it every day

Answer 2

17 weeks? I thought it was illegal to have one after 12 weeks...anyway, here is what I'm going to tell you. The world is full of people trying to make you feel guilty about your choice, but at the time I'm sure you had a very good reason to terminate. Maybe you knew in your heart that there was no way you could provide, financially or otherwise, for a baby. Or maybe you didn't know the baby's father and you couldn't do it alone. Maybe you had family members who threatened to disown you if you went through with the pregnancy. These are all common reasons why young girls end their pregnancies, and I totally understand how the decision can keep haunting you, but ask yourself this: would you have been a good mother at that stage of your life? Or would you have just been setting an innocent child up for a miserable life where there was never enough love, money, etc. to go around? You should try talking to a therapist or maybe a clergy member- they might be able to help you forgive yourself.

Answer 3

the answer lies not in rationalizing but in accepting the fact, taking responibility for it and going on with life.
This is not intended to make you "feel guilty". Guilty feelings are not good for much. You must stop using words that make it sound less dramatic. Termination, that's when you get fired from work... Abortion is when you allow someone to end the life of your baby. Those of us who are against this practice do not hate you and we are not here to make you feel guilty. You must admit that it was a bad choice, take full responsibility for it and accept the fact that IF you acknowledge that it was wrong and change your ways, YOU ARE FORGIVEN. And that means you no longer are held accountable for that choice... only for the choices that you make from now on.
You can get over it, but not by explaining it away.

Answer 4

You may never fully get over it and always feel a bit guilty. But in time you will feel less guilty and maybe learn to forgive yourself. 17 weeks is pretty far along. I am wondering why you waited until it advanced so far.

Answer 5

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