Here's the facts....tell me what you think?

Question

My ex-husband & I have joint custody of our 13 yr. old daughter with him being the "residential" parent.
Each year, she comes down to Florida (from New York) for the summer
The ticket, which I paid for entirely, was bought in May and is non-transferable/non-refundable.
He was listening in on one of phone calls, got mad because of what he heard and now says, "She can't come down this summer or any other summer for that matter".
He's afraid that she's going to come down here and stay...she's been talking about wanting to come live with me. It's not about her....it's about paying ME child support as well as support for his other daughter whose mother and him are currently going through a divorce.
I'm current on my child support and it is court-ordered that I am allowed summer visitation. I know that most of you will scream get a lawyer..I have a call in to one now..what I'm wondering is, do any of you think he has a leg to stand on? She's due to leave the 29th of this month!

Answer 1

No he doesn't have a leg to stand on. If it is court ordered that you get summer visitation then he has to honor that. Be sure to do everything your divorce decree says in order to get that visitation. Some decrees say you have to send a letter to the other parent certified requesting certain dates etc... Talk with a family law attorney and see what he can do to make sure it happens. Laws are different in every state. I am not sure of the laws in Florida.

Answer 2

If you have court visitation then just remind him of it. I know a couple that has been doing that for a long time, going back and forth about NOT having to pay child support to the other spouse. Both of you need to stop thinking about the money and actually start thinking about what this does to your daughter, she's not a baby she's old enough to understand that her well being is only a question of MONEY, how good THAT must make her feel..
Please think about that. That couple's girl I'm talking about he's now into drugs and has started sleeping around...and she's 13 also.
Good luck

Answer 3

Depending on the state in which the divorce decree was granted, at age 13 she may be able to choose which parent to live with. Your ex does not have a leg to stand on. In most cases the visitation cannot be discontinued. If she does decide she wants to live with you, you will need to go back to court to get this changed and discontinue support. In that case he will need to begin paying support and maybe that's what's got his shorts in a knot.

In any event, the decision should be made in favor of the child.

Answer 4

He has to let her come if it is court ordered, otherwise he is in direct violation of that court order and if you call the police department or get a hold of a lawyer, they can issue a bench warrent and he can be thrown into jail. Just make sure you have that paperwork that says you have court ordered summer visitation handy so you can use it if you need. My boyfriend is going through this right now with his son, I'm sorry, I know how stressful and hard it can be to have your visitation dictated by someone else.

Answer 5

He can't deny your parenting time, if you are following all of the rules set forth in the joint custody agreement.

Many joint custody agreements, though, are not worth the paper they're printed on, due to wording that calls for the parents to be flexible in handling their joint parenting time.

Of course, if your joint custody agreement is straightforward regarding your parenting time, it is probably also pretty clear about how to make changes to the 'residential parent', too. Can you really be all mad at him for talking about throwing the parenting agreement out the window if you are doing the same?

Read it over. Especially the parts about respecting the other parent and the joint custody agreement for your child's sake. I think that everyone could use a reminder in that regards from time to time.

Answer 6

Legally, no. But he will probably not let her go unless you can get him to change his mind.

He seems to be all about the money then. Tell him that if he refuses to let her come down you will cease support (hope it is not automatically taken from your check) until your next court date.

That's about all you can do. He will just get a slap on the wrist, unless your daughter is old enough to state where she wants to live. You can also hold that in his face.

Tell him you will try to keep her up there as long as he continues to follow the rules.

But, if your daughter is able to be changed to your home, he has nothing to say about that either.

The court will side with you one way or another on this if he renigs or if your daughter wants to stay with you.

(depending on the reason this happened in the first place).

Answer 7

Well he may not send her unless you can get help professionally before then, but no he will not have a leg to stand on. Its the law and unless he can find good cause of why ylu shouldnt get to have her for your visit, then the court will not let him keep her. As far as her moving to you, then you need to address that to your lawyer, cuz I know for a fact it is NY law that a child of at least 12 yrs of age can decide who she/he wants to live with. So if thats what she wants, then she just has to tell your lawyer that.

Answer 8

he's not allowed to do that. But honestly, there's nothing you can do but get a lawyer. When the day comes that she is supposed to leave to come to your house, and he still says no, you can't call the police, they can't do anything. They will just tell you to take him to court, which is the only option you have unless you plan on going to New York to personally pick her up. If he does violate his visitation order, it is possible that he will lose his physical custody to you, I know it's a mess, I've been going through this for years, but there really is no immediate action you can take. Good luck...

Answer 9

Just bring up the court ordered document and remind him that you both have custody. She she wants to come live with you and it is her decision, tell him you don't want his money, just your daughter. She's worth a lot more and will save you a headache in the long run over the child support.

Answer 10

I am sorry that you are dealing with this. It really makes me sick when parents use their children to get back at the ex. He may be in contempt of court. Depending upon what your divorce decree says about visitation. Your daughter may also be old enough to decide who she wants to live with. I don't know for sure however. I have 3 children from a previous marriage. They live with their father. Neither their father or I would ever dream of treating our children this way. Denying them visiting rights to the other parent. In the end the children are the ones that get hurt. They usually also find a way to blame themselves for the turmoil their parents are in when the decide to use their children as leverages.