She says she's done.Can't find it in her heart to work on our marriage.I am comitted to her always have been.I know it takes two,but if she says shes done.Does she just turn off every bit of emotion,forget about all the great times and just move forward wihout any regret.I have asked her many times but get no answers to my questions.I can't understand how my wife has just decided to move on without any consideration for my feelings.And my attempt to try anything to make this work.
2007-06-19 02:39:19 · 11 answers · asked by Rodger M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She had trust issues that came up over two years ago.I have worked so hard to rebuild her trust and have given her no reason to not trust me.Never cheated always honest.She just decided after two years of what i thought were happy times to give up.
2007-06-19 02:45:55 · update #1
This is a common mistake women make in marriages. What happened was that she almost certainly told you several times what she wanted over a period of months, or, more likely, years. In her mind, you knew what she had a problem with but you chose to ignore it. So, over the course of time, she built up resentment higher and higher until, one day, presumably recently, she decided she'd had enough, and quit. Once a woman reaches this point, it is nearly impossible to get her out of it. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. If this marriage is worth it to you, change yourself in the ways she's been telling you she wants you to change, tell her that you are changing, and ask her nicely to stick around long enough for you to prove this to her over time. That is your best chance for keeping her.
2007-06-19 02:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well Rodger, I don't think you are being totally honest here. You've asked a lot of questions here so there is more to your story. She had trust issues because you started contacting an ex-gf to discuss your marital problems (emotional affair?) and your ex-wife has a drinking problem. She filed for divorce over 2 years ago. You don't even live in the same state anymore. You have also stated that your wife collected $120K on a lottery ticket since your divorce. Could you possibly be motivated by $$$.
I don't think your marriage was as wonderful as you imagine now that it was. You have sunk into a depression that you think your ex-wife can pull you out of. She obviously has her own issues and has moved on from you, which probably makes you even more determined to hook back up with her.
I know you've heard this before. Get some counseling to get your life back on track. Move on.
2007-06-19 02:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We can't answer that, my ex felt the same, I told him over n over he just didn't get it or didn't want to hear it, He said I led him to believe it was ok, I tried to bring the issues to the table to deal with. I was always blown off until I couldn't take it anymore. Look at the whole story, did you blow her off when she tried to open up. Most good people have reasons to shut down. The emotions by the way aren't a light switch, something had to have happened....
The part you added still doesn't make since..Unless she came from a hard childhood and never got over it and it controls her life but, you haven't said anything to lead us to think that... What caused her trust issues 2 yr. ago?
2007-06-19 02:47:56 · answer #3 · answered by ~Angel~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may just be saying it to get a reaction out of you, or she may truly mean it. People can only take so much of being unhappy, upset, miserable. Maybe she truly has had her fill. Any relationship takes work, however, if it seems it is always JUST work, the fun falls to the way side. You can never give someone all of yourself to the point of losing who you are at your core. She may feel she has and wants to get that back, thus, casting you aside.
2007-06-19 02:46:02 · answer #4 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Done trying means giving up...
I'm not sure what you have done to have her trust in you fade away in the first place, leaving the past behind, I was wondering are you sincere in rebuilding your marriage, because when you love someone you don't expect anything in return, you say u tried you want her to play on trying to work on your marriage to...
Ok, talk to her tell her that when you first both met, you don't expect her to return anything but you will keep on working on your marriage becos now to you, she is your life.
Dont keep thinking of yourself...think why she act the way she is now....maybe you keep on giving her pressure cos her to explode...try to be attentive to her like both of u first met..and do it out of ur heart not just an act..woman is sensitive...;)
2007-06-19 02:52:31 · answer #5 · answered by Yuu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit and think about what has been going on. No woman just turns off all emotions that is something that takes time. You need to try to sit and talk with her. Better yet you need to sit and listen to her. Find out what she wants.
2007-06-19 02:53:51 · answer #6 · answered by jujl62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds almost like there is someone else involved - on her side.
i.e. like she is interested in another person.
This would be about the only way she could just "decide to move on without any consideration".
Because she's already focused on something else.
But, I could be wrong.
2007-06-19 02:59:35 · answer #7 · answered by starbucksismygod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look its over so get a hold of yourself and move on. Its not worth the trouble when there are women out there wiilling to love you .
2007-06-19 02:42:45 · answer #8 · answered by wishingstar5555 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry but you have to accept her feeling and move on.
2007-06-19 02:47:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you never told us what YOU did to have her turn it off
2007-06-19 02:42:38 · answer #10 · answered by bluelitttt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋