i feel that this damn computer and internet are destroying my marriage?

Question

my wife has a ton of friends on my space and to my knowledge its just a hook up tool any ideas on how to disable the computer..i mean fry the ****** without her suspecting i did it? im sick of the secrets and the private life she has she doesnt even allow me to have her passwords. 99% of our fights revolve around this friggin thing. and i feel completely ignored sometimes i work alot and i think she neglects our 2 year old also i want this damn thing gone for good unrepairable. any suggestions has to look like an accident

i have already old her my feelings on the situation and i think she has a hard time distinguishing reality and fantasy. i have given her the ultimatum and she chose her my space friends over me claiming that it is her only source of entertainment

Answer 1

I was going through the same thing with my husband. He worked like 86 hrs a week and I was lonely so I turned to the computer. She is either starved for your attention or bored with the relationship. Either way if you ask her bout it she won't be truthful.

Pour some water in the computer and act like your kid did it. After the computer is gone keep a close eye on her phone. If she isn't happy in the marriage she will start flirting when she goes out by herself and you know that will lead somewhere.

Answer 2

Dude, you sound a little bit psycho and jealous. Myspace is NOT that big a deal. Sure, some people use it to hook up. But others don't. I've got friends on my Myspace that I knew back in high school, and they're all married with kids and stuff. I, and others like me, use it to catch up with old friends, not find people to have sex with. You shouldn't have to have your wife's password. Try some trust.

That being said, if she's so addicted to the computer she's neglecting your child and your relationship, there's a problem. Don't destroy the computer because, let's face it, that's just childish, immature and will drive her even farther away. Just disconnect the internet, or, how about this, TALK to your wife in a calm and adult manner about the problem. People CAN become addicted to the internet, just like they can many other things, and need help. Tell her the two of you need to get counseling, or you're getting a divorce.

Edit: Just read your update. If she chose the computer over her marriage, then it's over. File the papers and take the kid. There's nothing more you can do.

Answer 3

Create your own myspace profile, and ask to be her friend. Put fake pics of someone else in your profile and make sure you get a few friends before you request to be her friend. Flirt with her, see how she reacts. Then maybe see if she wants to hook up, then you'll find out for sure. If you can become her friend you'll be able to look at just about everything you would be able to if you had her password. Or, you could go to http://www.download.com and do a search for "Home Key Logger" and download and install the free version of HOME not FAMILY. Learn how to use it (give yourself a little time, make sure she's going to be gone for awhile) it's an easy program to use and as long as you keep it on a PC you own then it's legal. It doesn't have the ability to email the logs directly from the program which makes it legal. With that program it logs all of her keystrokes, you can review them when she goes to bed. Compile a bunch of things, then confront her with it all a week later. Don't freak out if you see one thing, take more logs. The more info you have the better. I'd suggest loading the keylogger onto a different PC then learning how it works before you put it on hers. You can hide the icon in the lower right corner by right clicking it but it comes back up when the computer is restarted (you can get it so that it doesnt show up in the lower right, but that's the full version that you have to pay for) then you can get it back to review the log by pressing alt+ctrl+shift+m.

Find out before 3 years down the road she up and takes off, and you've wasted your life trusting her.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I know the feeling man. My husband got into stuff which wrecked our marriage. I agree the Internet provides heaps of material which is not beneficial to many of us. Temptations are abundant over the net. What chance has a marriage got to survive with all the rubbish it provides. Unfortunately, there is nothing much you can do except approach your wife and tell her you are not happy with her getting into dangerous stuff which could have an effect on your marriage. If she refuses, I feel sorry to say that, she must be getting a lot of satisfaction from the computer and might be getting ideas. So, be prepared and good luck mate.

Answer 5

Cross some of the wires inside? Maybe that will cause them to melt together. Why dont you just tell her how you feel? That would be better than being destructive and deceitful. Or you could just turn the Internet off.
If she wants to choose her fantasy world over the real one, then maybe you could invest in some counseling for her. Obviously she has taken this too far. If she isnt willing to get off the computer and back to being your wife, then maybe you could tell her you are leaving, ask for the computer and the kids in the divorce proceedings.

Answer 6

Sounds like an addiction - and she's not alone. The internet has destroyed many relationships. Me? I wouldn't even try to make it look like an accident. I would do one of three things: a) Have the internet turned off; b) sell the computer; or c) throw the damn thing out the window.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Yes but I'm married and I get on myspace I have nothing to hide from my husband, if she is locking you out she has something to hide. The internet is my only source of entertainment too but I play games on Pogo or chat with people I know in real life like family or friends, I dont chat with strangers because it is just asking for problems.

Dump water on the keyboard that would be a start?

Answer 8

First, decide what you really want. If you want to find out what she is doing... what if you find out she is seeing someone? Your marriage may be gone already and you just don't know it. If you are strong enough for that, then look up "root kits" on the internet. You can install it on your computer and get passwords. From that, figure out what she is doing. Then, if she is seeing someone, or if she is having emotional conversations... what then? Confront her? Not likely to work. Breakt he computer? Also not likely to work. Instead, you have to figure out what will work for her. Tell her that you want to be closer. Plan some dinners. Help out more. Improve yourself. Make yourself attractive to her instead of trying to stop her from being unattracted to other men. If that doesn't work, then invite her to dinner in a public place. Have the divorce papers with you. Show her the transcripts of her messages. She will be angry. Give her the divorce papers and tell her to make a choice. You will be divorced in no time and on your way to happiness (really).

Answer 9

I wish I had an idea for you. I know..the computer can easily enable a problem in the marriage to escalate. If nothing else, it takes away time from two people who, if yours is like most marriages today, are like two ships passing at night as it is. Families used to be so much more close knit than they are today and it comes as no suprise that this distance comes in an era where the computers are such a focal point in this culture. When you discover this invisible "virus", please pass it along!

Answer 10

Very touchy situation...tell her that Myspace is not formarried women and that it is for theyounger generation. She should have other things to do with her life and her child (if paid any attention to) can give her much entertainment. Or take her out some place nice andentertain her. Show her that she doesn't need Myspace to be happy!!! Does she work? Thats something to do. Pray about it I hope all is well.