Well it's just a question..Im into a 4 year relationship now and still getting stronger,..We're miles away but im the one in-charge of his family..Although we're like married couples, im still afraid that he might find someone better than me,. Would you think, he can do that to me?
2007-06-19 01:09:56 · 10 answers · asked by baby_chiz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he wants to he will. Look at all the people who get cheated on. You don't have to be fat, or ugly, or a witch, perfectly ordinary, pretty, thin, nice people get cheated on all the time.
But if a man doesn't want to cheat he won't, he will take into account how much it would hurt you and even if he is tempted, he won't do it. Being 'like' married isn't the same thing as married. Not legally, morally, or practically. You need some protection so if he gets hurt you can be at his bedside. Why is waiting so long to ask you to marry him? Does he have it all his way now so there is no reason.
I wouldn't be so fast to worry about him finding someone better than you, it sounds like hes smart enough to know he won't find someone who is in charge of his family and to be with him for four years without wanting more.
2007-06-19 01:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I am a bit confused by your question and the answers so far. I think that your question reads as though you are looking after his children and his home whilst he works hundreds of miles away and you are insecure that he may find someone 'better' than you.
The answers to date appear to suggest that your man has another woman. Can you clarify your situation, it may make all of the difference to the advice you get in your answers.
Working on the assumption that so far there is no other woman and you are just worried :
I think your answer lies in 'like a married couple'. It seems to me that you are feeling insecure and want some commitment from him. I would too, after all, if you are investing your life in his family then its not unreasonable to ask him for that same commitment. If you are good enough to raise his family then you should be good enough to be his wife. Why arn't you married? If that is really what you would like, I would raise the topic with him. If he cannot commit after four years then you have to face the fact that he probably never will.
Regarding his finding 'someone better' well there is no one any better than anyone else. You are as good as everyone else and by the sound of it a loyal and wonderful person. You have to look at your personal strengths and ask yourself, where would he find someone else to love him and do what you do.
On the subject of his fidelity, it is either important to a person or it is not. They are either cheaters or they are not and being married will not change that. Lots of people are forced to live seperately when working away Etc for long periods of time but they have no interest in anyone else because they are commited to someone else. You have to look to his overall character and his history. If he has a history of cheating on people then he will cheat on you.
2007-06-19 08:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when a partner cheats, it is almost always something wrong with THEM that has driven them to cheat--and not the innocent partner. Somehow the cheating partner is feeling "less than" in their own mind....and finding ways to mentally place the blame on their innocent partner, so as to be able to say "I was driven to it".
Usually it is an ego thing. Whatever they feel bad about in their current relationship is absolved in the cheating one.....
My counsel to you is: STOP. If your partnership is strong, why be afraid? That is insecurity on your part. No one wants an insecure partner. If you have no reason to be insecure, then don't be insecure. If you do, you just gave him the "reason" he uses........she doesn't trust me anyway, she's going to blame me anyway, might as well do it.
It;s all twisted I know.....
2007-06-19 08:19:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the thing with love, we never know. You're afraid he will abandon you because of your own insecurities born out of previous disappointments with men. No one is better then you! Build a little bit of self confidence and see what a wonderful person you are. If you think a lot of yourself he will love you and respect you more.
2007-06-19 08:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound insecure. If this person makes you feel this way do not let them in your life. A person who cares for you is a support to you not a questionable lover ... Be strong and know you are the BOMB... Find someone that gives you strength not a weak soul.....
2007-06-19 08:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a wandering eye can be a bad thing.once a person has cheated, it becomes easie to chet each time they do it and dont get caught.seen it dozens of times. its still wrong. a true marriage shouldnt need a third person.if a person loves himself or herself .they are capable of loving their spouse and dont need any outside affairsbecause you will both be happy with each other
2007-06-19 08:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by road runner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I am not fully understanding your question here, you are with someone else but still in charge of your ex's home?
2007-06-19 08:42:13 · answer #7 · answered by Lynnae_1969 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything is possible in this day and age!! But depending on how many children you have I'm sure he'll stay if he doesn't want to pay child support.
2007-06-19 08:18:57 · answer #8 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but know matter how long or how strong you may feel about this person you never know what someone will do.
2007-06-19 08:21:48 · answer #9 · answered by unlacedlady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has eyes that wander, if he loves you and it sounds like he does, keep your love for him strong, the best to the two of you.
2007-06-19 08:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋