I have been with my boyfriend for 10months (living together for 2 months).He proposed new year. All is great apart from one problem.He is still married.He says he is in the process of getting divorced,but nothing seems to be happening.His ex insisted she file for divorce,but she hasn't given any info to him,and 11 weeks on nothing.I feel he is fobbing me off.He won't understand that I am upset and frustrated at the situation and thinks I have nothing to complain about and that it has nothing really to do with me.He says if I don't stop asking about his divorce,he will leave me.I don't want to break up, but I want him to respect my feelings and accept that I am finding it hard that he is married.I have tried talking to him,but he thinks I am in the wrong and that he can't/won't do anything to anything about it.I am at my wits end, and don't know what to do. Any suggestions?I don't want to leave him,but is that the only option?All ideas gratefully received,I am desperate to sort this out
2007-06-19 00:54:11 · 8 answers · asked by confused1981 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also, just to add, I said I would accept proposal once he was divorced and asked me properly. There is no date planned...although I was obviously quite excited at the prospect.
2007-06-19 02:23:52 · update #1
A divorce doesn't take that long, somethings up! If he doesn't want to discuss it, then there must be something that's delaying it!! Maybe you should have waited to move in with him when his divorce was final. If you don't want to leave then maybe just make yourself less available at home and just ignore him abit. You do have a right to know what's going on!! When were the two of you planning on getting married? If he doesn't give you a date, then that's not fair to you. Might be best to keep your eyes open for someone new!!
2007-06-19 01:03:58 · answer #1 · answered by 24Special 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is not a long drawn out process unless the parties involved want it like that. I do not think that you should have accepted his porposal of marriage until after he was officially divorced. As much as you may not want to, it would be in the best interest to just walk away now. The fact that he is threatening to leave you if you do not stop asking about the divorce should be enough to tell you that this is a relationship that will end up going nowhere. Sit down and tell him how you feel and if he says to you that he will leave if you don't stop bringing it up, tell him that you love him and do want to be with him but that you can not stay in the relationship the way it is and that you and him should part ways and that if and when the divorce is finalized and if he wants to rekindled what he had with you, to call you.
2007-06-19 01:38:51 · answer #2 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never never never date a man while he is separated. My rule (back when I was single and active in the adult dating scene) was never date a man until his divorce has been final for at least one year.
Too much guilt. Too screwed up. Too incapable of being present in another relationship.
ANd your story just proved my theories absoloutely correct.
You need to move on. I know you don't want to. I know you don't want to hear that. But it is the truth.
ANd honey--you shouldn't be with a married man. You should step aside and make sure that the marriage gets every possible chance to reconcile without you or outsdie influences. The sanctity of someone else's marriage bonds are a heck of a lot more important than you. Sorry to be cold about it.....but you need to understand that being selfish and going against marriage vows is pretty low....and karma is a b*tch.
2007-06-19 01:24:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what can happen when you get involved with a married man.
This may not be what you wanted to hear, but it is a fact. He is still married and obviously not in any hurry to get divorced.
You need to decide if you want to be with a married man. As long as he is still married, you can't look forward to a future with him. Do you want to be the girlfriend to someone who also has a wife?
He is not going to change, he has made that clear. You can take the crumbs he is offering you or he will leave if you make a fuss. You should decide that you deserve more than what he is offering. No one wants to be second to another woman. Good luck.
2007-06-19 01:10:28 · answer #4 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel so sorry for you hon,it really sounds too me as if he doesnt want this divorce,do you know his ex???cant you ask her when it will go through???,i really hope things do work out,but it sounds as if you have wasted 10 months off your life,if he wont even talk it threw with you without shouting there is something definately not right,,good luck to you xxx
2007-06-19 01:16:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your problem, he is married,,, and he should not be treating you like that, KICK his a&& to the curb. He oviously does not want this divorce. He is stringing you on, get rid of that lieing cheat.
2007-06-19 01:01:01 · answer #6 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
+'s and - do not mix, he is showing you a side of him that is evil this is the best way to word it, I would not be involved with someone till all is said and done.
2007-06-19 01:18:42 · answer #7 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throw his *** out and tell him he can stick it where the sun don't shine!
2007-06-19 01:03:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋