husband and i are actively involved in aa. recently I had a relapse that lasted three days and when my husband found out he flipped out....locked me out of our law office, left the house and is still staying at a motel....is this normal or a little over kill?>
2007-06-18 23:57:17 · 15 answers · asked by a_cervantez05 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We call it tough love.
2007-06-19 00:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Texas Heart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you both get back to AA and that your husband give alanon a try. Maybe your husband thinks that your relapse might also be his relapse and he did what he thought was right to attempt to keep his sobriety. I don't know what your drug of choice might be but if its of the hard variety, his decision may very well been one of life and death proportions. I think each time we find sobriety we have to guard it as if we may never get another chance to be sober if we loose this one. Granted, the program is not about perfection but some of us believe this bit of sobriety might be our last best chance at life or death.
2007-06-19 00:15:39 · answer #2 · answered by gamerunner2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would say so.If you are both in AA he should have been there for you, and talked it out first before he did what he did. If you have a law office together he should not have locked you out, and if he left the home to cool off I can understand that but he should phone you and see if you are all-wright if he cares.
2007-06-19 00:47:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a odd question coming from an attorney who knows the law better than any of us.
He has every right to leave the house because of what you did, and this is fairly normal.
Regarding locking you out of your "law" office, this question only you know if this is legal or not!
2007-06-19 00:26:33 · answer #4 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's putting the cart ahead of the horse. There's no such thing as a relapse. You stay straight cause you want to. When you don't like yourself so very much, one has a tendency to get deep into substance abuse to avoid how much one dislikes oneself. If he's on your side, he should not be hostile to you when your being hostile to yourself. He should relax. and give you safe haven. These things take time, as you negotiate with yourself about how much of this reality you have to tolerate without an instant vacation via alcohol and loud music. What planet is he from? You need affection and love, not be ostracized and neglected.
2007-06-19 00:08:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you have spent your "last chance " and blew it.
That you would suggest that his reaction is "overkill" suggests that you have not learned the lessons of aa.
The major problem with dealing with addiction, and you've heard this" is the what's the big deal attitude.
Apparently its a big enough deal that husband is done with you.
Based on your other questions it is also obvious that your issues run so much deeper than this post can help.
Please seek some therapy.
2007-06-19 00:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you practice law and give advice to people if you are doing thigs against the law,your husband wants to stay clean and can't be around someone that doesn't want to clean up their act because it will just bring him back down so get help, go into rehab.
2007-06-19 00:20:43 · answer #7 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is very disappointed in you BIG TIME. I suggest you leave him alone to think things over and don't make contact with him. He might be just watching and observing you, to see what your next step is going to be also and hopefully its going to be AA. Lets hope you haven't blown your last chance, because if you have, you can kiss your relationship goodbye. Cheers and good luck.
2007-06-19 00:35:44 · answer #8 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he maybe disappointed or he his trying to show you just what could happen if you relapse again. Because if your relapses contiune you could lose everything and maybe he is just trying to make you understand that. And it is no fun losing everything you worked so hard for while you got sober in the first place right
2007-06-19 00:05:37 · answer #9 · answered by dreamer 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I think it an over kill talking to you and finding out why did this happen should have been the route to take.
2007-06-19 01:27:19 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He left the house?? Good for him and good for you. Now you go for the house and try to get it all in your name.
2007-06-19 01:06:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋