Please my friends, I need to propose to her parents. Honest to goodness, I'm scared.?

Question

What is the Filipino way to propose? My Friends, my life depends on this. I'm Moslem, I'm Turkish. I love my Pinay. Will you accept me? I'm not a terrorist, I also have a heart. Friends, will you accept me? Love you all.

Answer 1

You would do just fine, Papars. I can understand the butterflies in your stomach...but think of this "formal proposal" as you would a high event of exciting career - remember those dinners where you get to mingle with dignitaries and royalty? - same difference! I have closely followed your answers here at YAP and you ooze with confidence, man...so just be your natural self. Besides, your gf's parents have been briefed of your intentions; this is but a formality now - in keeping with our traditions. It would have been sweeter if your parents** could be with you but if this is not possible, you would do just fine by yourself. **The significance of your parents being present is deeply rooted in our cultural norm that a marriage is not just between individuals but between families. Hopefully, on the wedding day, your parents (or elders in your family to represent them) would be on hand to witness the union. Good luck, dear friend and advanced congratulations.

Oh, inspite of being well-prepared for d-day, it's very normal to still feel nervous. And don't kick yourself if the words don't come out flowing easily. Her parents would understand. Just be your natural self, butterflies and all. lol

Answer 2

Papars..bring your parents all the way from Turkey here in the Philippines..As a man, you should be willing to shoulder most if not all of the expenses during the wedding..You should be also willing to wear the traditional Filipinos wedding clothes which is barong tagalog..learn a little Tagalog or dialect depending on what provincedid your girlfriend come from..

Being a Muslim will be a big issue specially if the girl's parents are traditional or conservative Filipino, being a foreigner will add to that, and being a Turkish will also add more since we have celebrity here that is married to a Turkish moslem and they are on the news everyday...the girl insists that her turkish husband is battering and hurting her physically,.

But still, in the end, your love for each other is the deciding factor..

Answer 3

hi! we are pretty much in the same boat, my turkish boyfriend coming here in 2 months! I think the good thing bout it, he met my brother online already and talked about his intentions.Only my brother knows. At least he has met one member in the family. I think it would be good for you to meet at least 1 member in the family , so you feel more comfort and in return they will realize that you are really serious with your girlfriend.

Before coming here, make plans already with your girlfriend. Be prepared with all the possible questions the relatives will ask you. Make sure you have both planned where you will live, and how often will be the visits if you will be staying in turkey. There is language and cultural difference,my boyfriend currently reading books about philippines and how to do business here. We both decided to stay here and do business first and take summer vacation in turkey. We are doing the adjustment little by little until i learn the turke language and adjust with way of life there.

So when are you coming here? Keep in touch, i am glad i met turke marrying a filipina. My boyfriend still practicing straight english, and i think it would be great that we could be friends. It's great because he's also nervous as you about meeting the family. Maybe we can meet up when you reach Manila.

Answer 4

OK. I am not a Filipino so I cannot really be of any assistance to you but that does not stop me from wishing you all the luck and a successful outcome.
Being a Muslim shouldn't be a big hurdle most sane people know that a small per centage of radicals does not make the majority radicals.
Do her parents know about the relationship between the two off you? If so, and they have accepted it, then you shouldn't have a problem.
When is the big day? Of course you will keep us posted,yes?
I didn't know you were a Muslim and I liked you now that I know your a Muslim nothing has changed I still like you.

Answer 5

Here are some sites but for your sake hopefully they're not into those customs any more. Just be yourself. I have a filipina friend marry a turkish guy herself and he's the nicest person I've ever met and now they have a baby who'll be turning one. Her parents never gave him any grief, actually they were quite relieved that she got married. Consider the sites as a compromise on if you do get married which wedding rituals you both want to use along with your own riturals. Good luck

http://www.weddingsatwork.com/culture_customs_filipino.shtml
http://www.changdesign.com/wedding/traditions.htm
http://www.weddingsatwork.com/culture_traditions.shtml
http://www.weddingsatwork.com/culture.shtml
http://www.filipino-dating.com/filipino-courtship-customs.htm

Answer 6

For giving rational answers and not once commenting unjustly on anyone, it doesn’t matter that you are Muslim, Arab and Turkish. Filipinos are flexible and most of us are open-minded so we don’t dwell on cultural biases and accepts your individuality. As you can see, you have long announced that you are not Filipino and no one has ever insinuated that you cannot stay and answer in YAP. So as for me, you are still the sensible Papars.

Now to your proposal, it doesn’t differ much on how you present yourself as a man had you been considering an engagement with a woman from a slightly modern Arab family. You only have to demonstrate your good points.

Unfortunately, we do have initial negative connotations when one speaks of Arab, Muslim, and Turkish. Everyone experiences cultural biases, nothing to worry about.

In my opinion, you have to first establish with them that Arabs actually have good & strong familial ties, respectful of their elders, and have extended families like Filipinos. Demonstrate not only verbally your good intentions, respect and admiration for their daughter. Only when you mean it, it would help also to guarantee your future in-laws that while you can, you have no intentions of taking four wives. The idea scares them off. Assure them that most of the younger generations of Arabs are normally monogamous. Keep in mind that your wife is the one immersing with your culture, so a little bit of compromise would not hurt.
Don’t show your tendency to be illogically jealous. Once in a while she may be a little affectionate with her “kuya” cousins. You might see them touching her hand or putting an arm over her shoulder. No need to go ballistic on that.

Judging from your answers, I know you are one levelheaded and smart man so you sure will rake good points from your prospective in-laws. Be flexible and please do take the time to understand our way of life. I was really proud of my husband when he was able to blend well with my family just as I did my best to “walk with” his own family.

Answer 7

Do not be scared in the proposal. just tell the parents that you love their daughter and will provide with good living for her and to the coming children and that you will not marry another woman as long as she lives. But i believe the problem of the two of you lies on which faith to follow. Most people will not give up their faith but some will give it up for a while for money. does she really loves you? will she accept your faith or do you really love her and will you give up your faith.

if you get into marriage be it on both faith and dont forget to put all your agreements in writ tings. have it notarised. there is no enough space in the marriage contract. good luck Friend es ist ein langest stag

Answer 8

Just go with the flow.Dont be scared just talk to the parents. Instead of wasting your time worrying, better spend your time learning a few expression or words.Try to be as natural as possible you dont want them to like you for being somebody not yourself. What they see is what they get. If they like you for who really you are Good if not then you have to look for somebody else who will like you for what you are and not for what they expect you to be. When you talk to the parents show respect as much as possible but dont be too tight it is hard to carry a long conversation too seriously and try to crack a few jokes as soon as you gain some grounds.The things about the Sky Flakes might be a good one.(Actually i was laughing when i read about that sky flakes line.
God Bless

Answer 9

the only way to get through this is to earn their trust and confidence. they have to be sure their daughter will be safe with you. It is still your girlfriends decision by the way. propose to the girl, and make sure the parents will trust you. you may have a hard time coz of the negative reports, where pinays are hurt overseas, the main thing is sto show her parents your love, and assure them that whatever happens, their daughter will not be hurt.
Its like saying, if you don't love her anymore, just send her back to them, don't hurt them physically.

Answer 10

Dude, just act normal around her family. If you really love each other, her parents will come around.
If you insist on the traditional method, you have to be prepared to work without pay for her family for a period of time. I suggest you don't do this though, coz it might embarass your girl. And get those vocal chords ready, you'll have to serenade her (harana).
Just spit out your proposal. In the end, the most important thing is to show her parents that you will be with their daughter through good times and bad times, through sickness and health etc.