I'm eighteen and I was a virgin before I married. My husband wants sex every night and some nights all I want to do is cuddle and talk. Am I being selfish?
2007-06-18 20:43:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, but you need to talk to him about this, not us. Explain that you're not always in the mood, offer him some alternatives, like foot rubs or baths together, and don't worry, this phase of your marriage will pass soon enough.
2007-06-18 20:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it is 'normal' in a general sense... but how was your sex life with him prior to getting married? If he was not into sex while you were dating then it wasn't going to change once you said 'I do'. But, I think part of the problem is that he has made the bed his extra office. That is a distraction and it can impede a sex life. But I think there is a bigger problem here... if he thinks having sex once a month is ok, AND you two are newlyweds, then a. He's either having a libido problem and should see a doctor b. He's no longer attracted to you and uses excuses to not have sex c. He could be getting it elsewhere But, these of course are 'assumptions'. This is a problem and if it's not addressed, preferably by an impartial party, then your marriage will not be successful. Express to your husband that you two need to talk to someone about this or else the marriage will be shaky and the last thing you'd want is to seek comfort from someone else... Good luck!
2016-05-19 14:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was a newlywed at 18, we used to spend the entire day making love, But anyway this is 10 years and second husband later....i dont think you are being selfish, but you should talk to him about how you are feeling.
2007-06-19 02:02:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, everything sounds pretty normal! But you two need to make some rules. Maybe some sex, and equal time talking??? Try to work it out so your both happy, keep the communication lines open always! Congrats on the wedding!!
2007-06-18 20:50:47 · answer #4 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being selfish but you just need to talk to him coz communication brings out something anew and even exciting. I think he will understand that you like cuddling and talking coz if your relationship is to work that is really essential.When i got married last year I experienced the same problem and we managed to work it out through communication .and now at times we just hold eachother and talk and its really working for us guys
2007-06-18 20:59:32 · answer #5 · answered by sasmom07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if he knows this about you then he's the one being selfish. If he doesn't know this, you need to tell him.
Just remember, he can't fix something if he doesn't know it's broken. So, let him know how you feel and maybe he feels the same way.
Welcome to the married world!
2007-06-18 20:57:58 · answer #6 · answered by Dalette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is normal but there are men out there that need more. the old saying if you dont take care of it at home it will leave and the fact that men i have heard say that and that is good excuse for them well its sickening and if one can obstain so can another. but no you aren't and he could do it once in awhile but i dobut he will if hes selfish.
2007-06-22 17:46:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your husband that you cuddle and talk. That sounds wonderful.
2007-06-18 20:50:20 · answer #8 · answered by Goldman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds a lot like me and my girl. Guys are horny and they want sex. There's a saying that we think about sex every 5 seconds. You're not exactly selfish but than again, I hate it when my girl don't give me sex, it feels like she's not enjoying it or something. I start thinkin things. If you become too selfish than he might cheat on you. Just be careful :)
2007-06-18 20:51:39 · answer #9 · answered by zenica4life 2 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Enjoy while you can. Tune yourself to liking it. By refusing you might push his love away.
2007-06-18 20:55:37 · answer #10 · answered by pawpaw55 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋