ok im eleni im17 k well i went out with this guy kas who is 24 we where together for 2 years and then i fell pregnant when i fell pregnant he decided to tell me then that he is already engaged 2 a girl overseas and he couldnt take it back so when i was 5months pregnant he went overseas and now he is married ..my son is 16months old so after this long he contacts me now .he has a baby girl that is 5 days old with his wife he tells me he loves me that im the best girl in the world that he wants to be with me his family know about me and have finally seen me and his son and want me to be his 2nd wife . the reason why we couldnt marry b4 he said was that he was iraqi and i am greek and his parents wont accept .now they do but his wife doesnt know anything about me or that he has a son with me i feel real bad for her as she doesnt know the life here in australia and is innocent and i feel like if i accept to marry kas that it will break her heart to find out all this time she has been lied2
2007-06-18 20:01:23 · 9 answers · asked by j 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
umm ok thankyou all for your advice everyone is pretty much saying the same thing so i realise now that it is wrong he lives here in australia now and he is not indian he is iraqi i just thought from some replies i might add that... thankyou all for your advice it has helped me alot take care all n thanks again
2007-06-20 01:24:35 · update #1
i think he is crazy ..you and your son are better off without him..dont let the emotions of the situation affect you....he should be focusing on his wife and new daughter not playing games with you....dont let him drag you into his game...move on there is a much better life in the future for you and your son...things happen for a reason just remember that..you met this jerk to have your wonderful baby boy in your life...that all he was good for...now you go and find someone who deserves your life and will treat you like their number queen. nobody likes to be second in life
2007-06-18 20:08:25 · answer #1 · answered by adrik c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not right. He's a pig! He shouldn't have slept with you in the first place! I feel sorry for both mothers and both children! Is he saying he will leave his wife for you, or you'll join their household? 2nd will never be as good as 1st! You and your son deserve better!!! He just wants the sex with you because his wife has been pregnant and just had a baby...he only wants to use you and may feel a little guilty about your son. Don't let him hurt you and take advantage of you.
2007-06-19 10:49:34 · answer #2 · answered by azure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will feel bad that she has been lied to what about you my dear. as soon as he found out you were pregnant he then told you he was engaged back home and couldn't break it off. You were lucky once by not being married to him someone above was watching out for what you still do not obviously see. I can understand you your young. I was your age too when I started dating my ex. and naiave too and believed all that garbage. Dear please don't become his 2nd wife you won't be happy. You forget about him and try and find a good man over here. I was married once to a lebanese man his parents to would not accept me as I am catholic and it just got worse after we married i was lyed to about alot of things. So your best to be far away from this man. And dont' fall for his sweet talk its just an act. he's made his bed with this other woman let him stay with her and you continue on with your life. You owe that to your son trust me your life would be **** over there or him coming here.
2007-06-19 03:20:51 · answer #3 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man has lied to you through omission (OOps, forgot to tell you about the fiancee...)
Lied to her through omission -
(OOps, forgot to tell you about the girlfriend and son....)
and of course you feel bad for the woman. I feel bad for you.
You got the better end of the deal though, since she ended up with him.
Just be friends. E-mail him and let him interact as he is able with the child. Forget being a second wife, you'd be horrible at it, and First Wife is going to Hate you....
You will always be second. And you already know how that feels. Move on, darlin'. Wish him luck, and just move on...
Once you are over there, you may not be able to get your son back. Your husband will own your child. Female infanticide is very high in India, as a son is preferred. So, he finds out the new baby is a girl and he is trying to bring home HIS Son. Not you. You will live a life of subservience, second to his entire family and his wife and child. He will be entitled to your income. He has the right to beat, maime, and kill you if you are not to his liking. AIDS and HIV are highly unreported in India. And you may never be able to return home.
You see, he views this new daughter as a failure and he is trying to save face. Had the child been a boy, you would never have heard from him again.
So understand, it is not you he wants, it is your son. So, be afraid of his advances, and keep as much distance between you as possible.
Do a lot of research into Indian law and culture. Never let your son go over there. Never, never....Start learning about his rights now, as you have no rights in his country. Once the boy is in India, as in "Not Without My Daughter" with Sally Fields, you may never get him back.
2007-06-19 07:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
being a second wife in itself is not such a big deal but marrying a person who successfully lied to you as well as his wife and is leading a sort of double life,cheating and depriving his innocent children and plus having no guts to speak up...i think that is a pretty big deal.
how can u be sure that you will never face any trouble in future if he has such a doubtful credance?
he could so easily hav told u before and let u decide whether u stil wanted to be him or not.
by accepting to be his second wife probably u wil be harming yrself and his other wife and children more than he himself.
he is a clever fellow to be sure
2007-06-19 03:13:47 · answer #5 · answered by victoria 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he wants you as his 2nd wife because you gave him a son and his 1st wife gave him only a daughter. I do not know your or his culture, but I would be VERY wary that he wants your son more than you and if you move to his country that might give him primary parental rights and leave you with nothing. I say don't do it to protect you and your child.
2007-06-19 03:40:59 · answer #6 · answered by Sunny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, i don't suggest you be the 2nd wife, not only that im sad to hear that he has cheated his wife about you, but also im worried that you might not get happiness with him. Be brave and when the time comes, be prepared to tell your son about his father.
2007-06-19 03:20:39 · answer #7 · answered by jade s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever been to his homecountry? I would not recomend you, beeing a second wife in a culture which you don't know anything about! Make the best out of yourlife, but without him!
2007-06-19 03:10:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can do better dont play.2. to him to many a man would love to have you and as well the child to in my opion?
2007-06-19 03:34:46 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋