that everybody has hangups and nobody is perfect. I'm realizing how disfunctional most of society is. Could I have been emotionally immature and my painful divorce has woken up a part of me that was dorment??
2007-06-18 18:56:19 · 16 answers · asked by ramon s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Everything happens for a reason, and it sounds like you needed a really hard kick to learn this lesson. Now that you know it, don't forget it. Who knows what this new outlook will bring you.
2007-06-18 19:08:14 · answer #1 · answered by kimandryan2008 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, "nobody is perfect" is a saying that's been around a LONG time. Maybe you just didn't hear it enough while growing up. There are things in life that do wake you up though. Such as your divorce, a death in the family, a car accident, and an endless array of more things that will surprise you and make you realize how f'ed up this world is. When I say "world", I mean all the people, not Earth itself. It was just fine before we got here to make it sick.
2007-06-19 02:02:01 · answer #2 · answered by Russell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, NOT DORMANT! YOU ARE JUST LEARNING THE BY THE WAY OF 'HARD KNOCKS'. YOU are not alone. We have all had some experience in those lessons.
However, do not let one bad experience taint you for future good people to come into your life. Once you see a flaw in the character of a person, friend or lover, just move on!
You are 'wiser' now, that is all. Use that to your advantage. You have observed the bad, the little signals that you ignored and 'maturity' can say, "'Now, I know what I don't want in a partner!""
Love has to do with how you feel about yourself when with that someone special....it has little to do with how they love you.
So, you are possibly blameless to the divorce, a good person, and there are a lot of us out here.....WE JUST HAVE TO FIND EACH OTHER.
NOW YOU DO THE HOMEWORK OF HEALING! SPOIL YOURSELF AND LOVE YOURSELF. WORK THAT HAIR, NAILS, FEET, JOIN A SPA, JOIN A SINGLES GROUP AT CHURCH....you don't have to belong to most of them to attend...but you can meet quality people there. See the good in people you meet, till YOU SEE THE BAD! Trust your INSTINCTS! TAKE LONG HOT BATHS WITH A BOOK AND A GLASS OF WINE. BE OF SERVICE TO THOSE THAT NEED YOU----NEVER HER! SHE HAD HER CHANCE, DON'T EVEN LET YOURSELF BELIEVE SHE IS ALIVE ANYMORE. SHE IS NEVER GOING TO BE A FRIEND.
LIVE LIKE THERE IS A TOMORROW THAT WILL BE GREAT EACH DAY. YOU HAVE A LOT TO OFFER~~SO GO GIVE IT. STAY BUSY, TOO BUSY TO MISS HER AT ALL.
WELCOME TO THE CLUB OF 'HARD KNOCKS DEGREED PEOPLE'! NEXT!
2007-06-19 03:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
On this journey called life we will continue to learn until we die.
Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves, family, work etc that we don't stop to observe what is truly happening around us and we need a wake up call.
Perhaps you had your blinders on and was not ready to accept the society as it is, no it has nothing to do with emotional maturity.
A divorce is never easy but hopefully in time you will heal and remember the first step to healing is forgiveness. This of course will take time.. Keep the faith and, continue to live in love.
Good luck!
2007-06-19 02:12:04 · answer #4 · answered by abstractedge2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce wakes you up to many things! Sometimes we find parts of ourselves we didn't know were there because we had no reason to use it or were shot down when we tried to develope that part of us.
Be grateful for the good that was, turn off the negative energy of wallowing in what could have been, and enjoy the parts of you that are coming alive!
2007-06-19 02:07:18 · answer #5 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup. I was a doormat. Now I'm a She-ro. Lol. Anyway, you know what I mean. I was raised to be afraid and hide behind my husband. I had to get tough because of a bad situation with my ex and realized the world is not so bad I can't handle it. Sounds like you were brought back to center from the other extreme.
2007-06-19 02:01:24 · answer #6 · answered by fesspoint 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely.
It took a break up from my true love to "wake me up". As I look back now I was so completely asleep at the wheel of my own life. I can't believe my thought process, my perception or my actions.
Often times it takes a shock to the system to awaken to the truth. It is always unfolding in front of us, but it's so easy to deny, excuse or ignore the truth....until you find out the true consequence of doing so.
Now I see how simple life is. I don't think of it as a dysfunctional world...but as a world of distraction.
I think it mostly occurs here in the "western world". The majority of people on this planet face the simple reality of life, because their world isn't built up of superficial distractions.
Okay, I'll get off my soap box, but I hear ya man.
2007-06-19 02:09:13 · answer #7 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being over 30 does not automatically make u 'emotionally mature.' neither does being over 40 or 50. and ur entirely right... most of society is dysfunctional, and it plays a big role in how we perceive our problems, as well as those of others. don't feel awkward about it, just think of it as ur first step to moving on and living life the way u should. and also, expect to have many more of these epiphanies before ur times up!
2007-06-19 02:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by Kati S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You figured out something that some people never get a handle on. Good for you, but I'm sorry that it took a painful divorce for you to understand it.
2007-06-19 02:13:04 · answer #9 · answered by hypno_toad1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's very good Ramon. You saved yourself money, that a therapist would have told you the same thing. Don't feel bad. I'm 40 and still learning. That's the good thing about life, you just keep learning. I'm sorry it took hurt for you to learn life's lessons.
2007-06-19 02:04:37 · answer #10 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋