Shocked and saddened by this terrible story.... please read....?

Question

Woman shares tale of denial at bedside of her dying partner
http://www.theolympian.com/news/story/138169.html
Please read this story and pass it along. Events like this need to be stop. We should not be denied or discriminated of our rights. I feel so sorry for this woman. I can only hope good comes out of it changes for the future and helping other lives with her partners organs. Feel free to comment!

I agree with you all... I feel so terrible for the woman and the children.

Thank you so much for passing it on. I also posted it on myspace. Awareness is everything. Sometimes we think we are making grand strides and things like this wouldn't happen anymore. I even feel that way occasionally. But then something horrible and senseless like this and brings me back to reality. Scares me and saddens me how far we still have to go.

I can't believe anyone can ignore something this terrible even if they don't support gays. We are humans first. We feel hurt and pain just like everyone else. Those poor kids were robbed of their last moments with their legally adopted mother. How could people live with their guilty conscience over something like that?

I live in West Virginia and when my partner was admitted into the hospital for about a week I was treated just like next of kin/wife/husband. They never questioned who I was or tried to leave me out of anything. I was very impressed. Although it probably had alot to do with my partner being awake and alert enough to tell them who I was and give verbal permission. Again, another reason I thought we were progressing in this matter.

Answer 1

I was really and truly saddened by this stoey, It only proves that as human beings, some people have not evolved. I think that the staff at the hospital is a little responsible, I mean I have seen the nurses and doctors make exceptions in differnet situations, Like letting children into the intinsive care units, etc....they were just being ugly...I mean if you dont agree with a persons sexual prefrences, thats your choice, but why make the children suffer. They should have still been able to see their dying parent...what does their parents sexual orientation have to do with them seeing their parent and saying goodbye?

I am not gay, but I believe everyone of us has the right to choose who we want to spend the rest of our lives with without being punished by others ignorance. People are so shallow and stupid...and only think about what they want not the wants of others...America the home of the brave, free & selffish ...that should e our motto.

Answer 2

Yes this is awlful and it shouldn't happen, but until the laws are changed there is something that we can do to prevent this and it's something that we should all have any way. I made sure that I have a living will and a health care proxy. A Living Will states how you want to be treated should you be unable to speak for yourself. A health care proxy states who you want to speak for you if you can't speak for yourself. you should also have something written down making sure that you've choosen a Gardian for your children. No one could understand why I had a Wil stating who would take care of my children a Living will and a health care proxy when I was in my twenties. I didn't want anyone to either fight over what they thought that I would want or to fight over who would take care of my girls. I talked to my family about it and made sure that all of my doctors including my thereapist knows who has my health care proxy. Last year when I had to go into the hospital for depression I made sure that everyone in my family knew who had my health care proxy and where my living will was. I also had a Power of Attorney written so that my older daughter wouldn't have any trouble with my youngest school if something came up. I recinded the power of attorney when I got out of the hosptial. We should make sure that our family knows what we want and that our doctors know what we want so that if there is an emergancy people are all on the same page from the start until we have medical parity with everyone else.

Answer 3

It is a sad story, but the most tragic thing of all about it is that it's NOT UNIQUE. During the worst part of the AIDS epidemic when it first struck back in the '80's, stories like this were commonplace, and it's STILL going on.

Yet if you related these accounts in Congress, I doubt you'd find much sympathy from about 3/4ths of the officials there.

Somehow - and I'm not even sure how - a statement needs to be made to let these idiots know that we've had enough.

Answer 4

I live in Canada..2 1/2 years ago my partner of 20 years and I thought that we had all our legal bases covered and I got suddenly ill.(we were not married at the time as gay marriage had not been legalized at that point in canada)..I went into the hospital for tests and in the middle of the test I got rapidly worse and ended up in and out of a semi conscious state (alternating with great things like seizures). My partner was allowed in to see me and spent 14 hours everyday for 6 weeks by my bedside. Thanks to the medical staff at the hospital we never had any problems about visiting rights. But the general public was never allowed in to visit. My doctor is gay and I rather think that it was him who had a lot to do with the relaxed rules. But the hospital staff were great in my case. Obviously I survived...but I can really feel the loss this woman feels..Her partners death was bad enough..but to be excluded as an annoyance or hindrance at the end of her life must have been terrible hard on her and her partner. I laud her in her efforts to correct this injustice.

Answer 5

It is a sad commentary on our society today.

But where the real problem lies is with the legislated interpretation of the first amendment of the US Constitution with regard to religions. Since the inception of the US was because of taxation from King George the founders choose also to protect religion from undue oversight as the Church of England was during that period of time.

Everything having to do with religion was woven into the laws of the US early on as a way of protection religious freedoms. This created special legislation to cover a myriad of things and along the way marriage was taken from religions from the interpretation of the Bible of being one man and one woman. OOPPS!!!

IF THERE IS FREEDOM OF RELIGION THEN THERE MUST BE FREEDOM FROM RELIGION AS WELL!!!

By legislating the definition of marriage, the laws have done exactly what the founders tried to prevent in the first place, IMPOSE RELIGIOUS VALUES on the subjects of the population of the various states creating the United States.

As a result we have the problem we have today. How can this be solved? A lawsuit must be brought to the US Supreme Court with the resultant decision being that any law that is in effect, imposing religious principles or doctrine upon a member of our society must be declared unconstitutional.

This kind of decision will force the rewriting of 100's of thousands of laws to conform with a Freedom From Religion type decision.

HOW WILL THIS HAPPEN? Well maybe the 10-12% gay population and another 10-12% Bi population and as much as 25% gay/bi/les/trans friendly population of the US should file a class action lawsuit against the United States Government for illegally installing religion based principles or doctrine into the laws of the US.

This suit since it is not a one of individuals but a class would have no choice but to be heard by a federal court. Presentation of the evidence alone would take years and probably three federal judges full time to come to a decision. If done correctly, the judges would have no choice but to decide in favor of the plaintiffs. Would it be appealed? -- Certainly all the way to the Supreme Court. Where it would have to be heard!!! Why? -- Because it would be speaking directly to the one of the single most sacred principles of the first amendment; Freedom of (or) from Religion.

My guess is that it would take a full 20 years to do OR if the group of people I mentioned above really got it together it would only take about 5 years.

And in the end a true separation of church and state would exist.

Answer 6

I'll bet she never had a will, living will, or durable power of attorney.

Why do you people demand that the world should revolve around you? Why not take personal responsibility and take care of your legal requirements? Can you be that lazy?

Even married couples need these documents. Look at Terri Shalvo for example. Everyone needs to draw up legal documents to speak for them when they can speak no more to tell others what their wishes are.

Why do you leave this up to the courts and the legal system to decide for you? Sad that these people were so lazy and cheap not to invest in these legal documents.

There was no discrimination here. They were treated like anyother boyfriend/girlfriend since they did not further their relationship with a will.

Answer 7

I do feel there were some serious wrongs committed in this situation.
In a crisis situation the last people that need to be in the room are family members. Most people would not believe what goes on in ICUs and ERs when we are trying to save a patient. It is traumatizing sometimes for us as health professionals, and families can not handle watching what goes on. I don't care who you are. Plus, when the team of nurses and docs are in a room working, it needs to be controlled. We are trying to keep someone alive, and will keep doing so, at any cost, until they have expired.
The above being said, that is why they did not allow her back initially most likely. That is what should have been expressed to her. The statement about the hospital not being "gay friendly" is totally inappropriate. I hope that legal action is taken against the institution because that is discrimination plain and simple.

Answer 8

I think that is very devastating story. That was totally wrong for the hospital to keep her away from her life partner let alone the children.
It is totally sad that she didn't get to tell her partner that she loved her & that she will miss her when she is gone. I don't know what all the laws are in their state but there should be something she could do.

Answer 9

That's absolutely horrible, the same thing happened with my mother and "stepfather'. Although not legally married they were together for 13 years and he could not come and be with her. I was away at college and he knew she wanted to be an organ donor but since they were not married he could not even sign the papers. It's a sad day when the people that you consider your family cannot be with you during your last moments.

Answer 10

This should be classified as a crime against humanity; It's a crime not to let someone be with a person when they are dying, even if it's the hospital janitor. It shouldn't matter who it is, let alone someone that has made their life with the dying person.
How human beings can be so heartless is beyond me. Laws and rules be dammed when it comes to someone dying. The "spouse" can sign, but not be with them, I'd tell them to have the fool that made that rule sign the damn papers. Maybe we should start lying to the hospitals of how we are related to the person, like we used to.