A question about sex? (serious answers only please)?

Question

I am 24 years old, and in a wonderful marriage with my husband, we have 2 small children, and I have totally lost interest in sex. Its not that I dont like sex, or that there is anything physically wrong with me, I just am never in the mood. I have tried almost everything, like romantic evenings, and time with just my husband, nothing seems to work. I asked my OBGYN about something, and she suggested testosterone pills, but said the side effects are quite unpleasant. I really dont want to have to take them, but I am making my husband miserable, and myself too in the process. Does anyone have any ideas?

Answer 1

It's not unnatural. I know it must be disheartening to hear from your doctor that your only chance is medication. There are a few natural remedies, but I can only say that there's nothing wrong with you. Stress, and other factors decline the sex drive. You have 2 small children, so adventure is not necessary easily taken but try it. Hopefully your husband has the patience, you will outgrow this akward faze. Best of luck.

Answer 2

Testosterone pills WILL help your sex drive, although they should be a last resort. I have had female friends to take them and then hit on me! (Old and married me) When they returned to thier senses later, they said they now know why men act so crazy. (Ha Ha) I suggest spending some time pampering yourself and finding your sexuality again. If you need a supplement after all, try an herb called Horny goatweed (yes it's for real). You can't make anyone else happy if you're not happy.

Answer 3

It's very common for women who have small children to have less interest in sex, just as it is with women who have just given birth. However, it is mainly due to tiredness, looking after children is a lot of hard work which gives you less time to get in the mood for sex. Give it time, try to be patient. Time away from the children can really help sometimes. Have you tried using sex aids? That can sometimes help to get the libido back up and running.

Answer 4

I'm 39 and when I started losing my libido, I did a few things that helped me tremendously...
These are eastern remedies, but they worked. I started taking 300 miligrams of Evening Primrose Oil supplement every morning. Then I started getting accupressure massages to help channel my energy. The female meridians are below the belly button and there are some spots on the feet. You're a sexual being and your lack of interest can be about the energies in your body. You just need a bit of adjustment and you'll be just fine!@

Answer 5

1] Try exercising a couple of times a week.
2] go out on a date - talk, eat, walk, watch a movie - just get out of the house and away from the kids
3] tell your husb you are just as frustrated, in a different way
4] are you still breastfeeding ? - I had no sex drive the whole time I nursed.
5] if all this doesn't work, find a therapist to help you

Answer 6

Is it his first time too? Because if it isn't than he can take the lead the first time. Talk to him and let him know about any worries so you can take things easy. You don't have to lie down and to nothing, you'll know what to do when you get there. Try to think a bit of it like when you kiss: I mean, when your boyfriend kisses you, you don't sit still and not kiss back. It's the same with sex. So when you think you're ready, relax, take it easy, let your boyfriend know how it's feeling for you and enjoy.

Answer 7

I would suggest you read the books "Passionate Marriage" and/or "Resurrecting Sex" by Dr. David Schnarch (sic). In them, he discusses the various problems that may have caused your drop in sex drive, how to determine which might be affecting you, and what you might do about it. He is very thorough, covering everything from serious illnesses to simple stress and time deprivation. He also has a website:

http://www.passionatemarriage.com/

Good Luck

Answer 8

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I really wish that I had better advice on how to help you, but I think that whoever said sex therapy is right. Why not consider tantric sex? It's like sex sex, isnt as aimed on the whole "pleasureable oragamsic ohmygosh" aspect of sex, but the more "one-body-one-soul" kind of thing. Look it up.

Answer 9

Maybe have him constantly compliment you. It always puts me in the mood when he tells me how beautiful I look, how much he loves me, or sends me steamy text messages. Have him focus on saying and doing things that will make you feel good about yourself. Also, have him do cute physical things as if you were still in high school. For example, let him grab your butt when you walk by, or peek down your shirt to get a glance at your nipples. Little things like that always do the trick for me.
Good luck.

Answer 10

I had that problem before. Sounds crazy but exercise and sleep help alot. Go to bed early for a bout a week, and exercise early in the day. Take a shower before bed.