I know Im wrong for this...but it's his fault what to do..? he's married 12 yrs?

Question

Okay well I know that I'll be recieving some good and bad advice, hey I need it.
I am involved with a married man for 2 1/2 yrs.
I know Im scum HOME Wrecker all that B>S .
But when it started we were friend's nothing more, as time went by, I noticed he would defend, help, or try to catch my att.
he would then ask if I was ok. I guess just to start a conversation, what Im trying to say is that I was'nt interested, and there was nothing there until he started to chase a younger girl, Im 25 he's 47 lol I know.
I never really looked his way, never had an interest,, until he figured me out, knew what I was attracted to.
Humor, Nice teeth, so our relationship is to weird we are bestfriends, I am so hurt because I knew, but I never thought I could love him, we never argue, and he's everything to me, I finally got the courage up to tell him I was miserable I did'nt want this, but he tricked me, and I dont want to be the cause for a divorce, I need to forget him...its his fault....

Answer 1

Oh here we go again. Homewrecker seeks sympathy.
GAFL. It's through no fault other than your own why you are hurt. Seriously you expect people to feel sorry for you and then have the NERVE to say its all his fault. You are 25, DL your not the brightest crayon in the box. Pathetic

Answer 2

No judgement, okay? I've been there. Do you work together? Because that makes it all the more difficult to break away.

First, you have to get it in your head that he is NOT everything to you. You have not lived together, had a normal relationship that has'nt had to be lived around his family, or probably been able to go out normally in public. He has zoned in on your needs- self esteem, physical needs, telling you how special you are.... what ever you needed to hear. I am not saying he doesn't care in his way, he probably needs more than his marriage provides-or he's bored, horny or just enjoys the challenge. But I would bet a million dollars you are not his first affair and certainly will not be his last.

You have to think more of yourself than to want to live in this lifestyle. It is a crappy way to live long term- I did it for 4 years and started out the same way but he was staying home for the children. I found out about the other women before me and during our ... well, I won't grace it with the title relationship. But I had blinders on. Once I opened my eyes and realized the choices I had made led me to a moral and ethical abyss, I stopped. And while you feel he tricked you, you are the one that decides your actions!

He has chased a younger girl than you, so what does that tell you? If he leaves his wife for you, he will eventually fall back into his habits and cheat on YOU! It hurts to lose a best friend and lover, especially one that has tuned into your mind and physical needs. But you have to make the decision as to how you want to live and where your future is going.

I'd say walk away from him (or run!!!). Make plans with friends and keep them! Stay away from love stories and sad songs and buy new sheets that are yours alone! Believe in yourself and know that there is a special person out there that will be yours alone, that will go out on dates, be proud to be in public with you, will learn your needs and contribute to your happiness rather than use your energy for his gain.

You can do it!!!

Answer 3

oh for crying out loud, you are an adult woman, don't you dare sit here like a 13 year old blaming someone else for something YOU did. He didn't force you to start a relationship...you knew he was married, and you very well could have said NO the firsttime he tried to kiss you - and ended the friendship right then and there...

what you are doing is like an alcoholic blaming the bartender for his condition...it isn't like the bartender shoved the bottle down his throat...and he didn't...well, I'mnot going to get graphic this is a family site...but I think you can figure out the comparison...

You weren't tricked...and you aren't going to be the cause of his divorce, why should he divorce his wife when he's got her and a piece on the side...which is all you are...and all you will EVER be...

you fell for a smooth talker - and I seriously doubt you are the first, or last...he isn't your best friend, he is your worst nightmare...

get into counseling if you have to -

figure out who your best GIRL friend is...tell her what is going on and that you need help to get him out of your life. Treat him like a drug and you are now in AA...and your girlfriend is your sponsor...anytime you feel you want to call him, you call her - so she can talk you out of being an idiot. Anytime you want to see him, you go hang out with her...

you deserve someone that is your very own - you have a lot of life ahead of you at 25...time to grow up...

Answer 4

Yeah, you were young and Innocent ........... he took advantage of you ........ for over two years.

Stop It! Regardless to the way it started, you had a say in how it turned out. You also were a cooperative participant. You can place the blame where you want to ....... but your wanting to forget about him is cause of the "guilt that lay within". Be adult about it, it happened .......... so do whatever you must do to regain any lost dignity and keep living.

You are a grown up, playing grown up games ........... so handle it in a grown up manner.

Answer 5

Here's the sad part: You are in NO danger of him leaving his wife of 12 years for you. You don't have to tell him anything. Just leave him alone. You will promptly be replaced by another woman with self esteem low enough to accept his antics. The person that is irreplaceable to him is his wife.

Answer 6

Don't even try to blame it all on him, you knew very well that he was married!! You are both wrong!! How would you feel if you were his wife and found this out!! You are being naive and he is being a total *ss!! I don't feel sorry for either of you!! You put our own selves in this position and that is sad! I am sorry, but it is not right on either of your parts!!

Answer 7

I'd let him known that it's not right for you and him. yes he shouldn't have lead you on. being with someone closer to your age. your likely to have more in common. by the way I am 30 years old a age I believe when men become wise, but to see what this guy did at 47 makes me sick. if you would like to talk with me you can e-mail me at [e-mail]

Answer 8

Kindly move to another town, stating new job opportunities and meet new people. End of story.

Answer 9

You know it always takes two to tango! You have made some poor choices but don't have to continue to do so.

Answer 10

And it's his fault how? You're an adult sweety, you are responsible for your actions. You CHOSE to succumb to his actions...That is YOUR fault.