I feel that guys what to be more than friends with me. I just want to have them as friends. I am not ready for any relationships. This past year I realized that many guys find me attractive. I use to be the ugly duckling. That is how I saw myself, but now, my perception is changing. This is why, at a certain point, I was so clueless as to why they were reacting to me that way. When I don't give in to them, they think that I am a tease or a cold *****. I feel really alone sometimes. It's always awkward between me and another guy who finds me attractive. I see a lot of girls with guy friends. I want that too. Guys just make judgments about me. I just want to be comfortable with who I am. I always sense when they think as me more than their friend. I'm just me. Please advice me on how I can be a friend rather than a potential girlfriend to these guys.
2007-06-18 17:11:34 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Well, you could always make friends with gay guys....
Seriously, at college age, guys have barely evolved past their raging hormone high school stage. They'll screw anything that appears roughly female and gives them the time of day. There are some out there who would be satisfied with a platonic relationship with you, but there's no easy way to find them. You'll just need to try by trial and error.
Make it plain to them at an early stage that you are not interested in a romantic or sexual relationship. If they think bad of you, that's their loss, and why should you care what they think anyway? Some will continue to be friends with you though, and those are the friendships you'll want to cultivate. (A few may need periodic reminders and/or an elbow in the ribs that you just want a regular friendship.)
Every straight guy THINKS about bedding a girl, but the more mature of us can control our impulses and be satisfied with just being friends.
2007-06-18 19:22:24 · answer #1 · answered by R[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̲̅]ution 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stop letting these guys judgement effect you so much - for a start you can't actually know what they're thinking unless they tell you and even then it's not a certainty. More than this though being comfortable with who you are is up to you entirely, don't let other people make you unconfortable with that ever. Just go and make friends - if they think you're a tease or a cold ***** then they aren't worth having as friends anyway. But on the other hand you can hardly blame someone for liking you, just be kind but firm with them when turning them down - no need to hurt people unnecessarily but you got make it clear to them. Most guys will bounce back from that and be able to be friends with you, and if they don't then who needs them. Also you might what to look into what signals you're putting out - if a girl is always dressed up to the 9's, it's not unreasonable for a guy to assume she wants to impress, perhaps just dressing casual in the sort of clothes you would hang out with a friend wearing (not sure if it's an issue, was just a thought)?
Just some suggestions anyways, good luck and don't let guys stress ya out - we're mostly jerks anyways ;) (and proud of it!)
2007-06-19 00:28:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find those whom you can trust with things.
Ima guy who has chick friends because I need them.
Mostly because Ima moralistic bastard who is so uptight he needs that safety net to fall back on.
Wear comfy clothes, not revealing, "oo these look pretty" clothes. and find guys in random places. stop trying to find the best looking ones. chances are they are asses and only look for it.
and if you find a guy who begins to find you interesting, tell him flat out. dont play the ******* drop the hint game. god damn i hate that! most guys dont get it. just tell him, or write a damn note "i dont want a bf, i just want a friend"
2007-06-19 00:21:49 · answer #3 · answered by devinthedragon 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Most guys are looking for girlfriends, not friends. If a guy finds you interesting enough to be your friend, he'll want you as a girlfriend (especially if you're cute).
2007-06-19 00:27:58 · answer #4 · answered by zifmer 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you can make friends with some of those 'more than their friend' guys. After all, lust fades.
2007-06-19 00:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by shmux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋