I am gay and don't know how to deal with it, I want a normal life but don't think I can have it.?

Question

I am going through the idenity issue of being gay. I have always dreamed of being 'normal', but have never been really attracted to the opposite sex. What is out there to help me cope? Part of my family is very religious, and I feel that this whole thing is actually doing more harm by keeping it in. I am 19 years old and think that a decision should be made. What advice can anyone give?

Answer 1

That's a part of life all people go through. Think about it. You are only 19 and probably never had a girl friend. You are also probably an introvert and don't know how to express your self to a girl for fear of rejection. Don't trap your self into thinking you are gay. Know that you are not. He who knows and knows that he know is a wise man. So stop thinking and start knowing. Most gay people got that way because of low self esteem and being introverted. Because they thought about it to long. Go out there and express yourself and crack that shell you are in. You are at the age when all genders start to make real decisions. As you said you have never really been attracted to the opposite sex. You don't know what attraction is yet. What is out there to help you cope? You are. So make a decision and make it fast. You only go around once. You don't seem to be gay just confused and scared. My motto is "when ever I feel afraid I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune so no one will suspect; That I'm afraid. The results of this deception is very strange to tell, for when I fool the people I fear I fool myself as well. So get out of the house and express yourself, talk to the girls and become friends. It ain't about religion, it's about you.

Answer 2

Well like everything you just said is in my area except I'm not 19, and I have NO problem with being a lesbian. First of all are you attracted to your own sex? Just because you don't think every chik is hot doesn't mean you're gay, maybe the right person hasn't come along yet. You are old enough to make your own decision's so good luck and hoped I helped at least a little bit ^.~

Answer 3

What makes you think that being gay is not normal?? The only difference between being gay and being a breeder is the type of person we desire. We all still have to get up in the morning, go to work or school, come home, have some dinner, watch some tv, etc.

Answer 4

The reason ur probably uncomfortable is the God given part of u (spirit of a man) is fighting against the FLESH part of u (sinful flesh) "24---7". My personal belief is that God allows homosexuality because they are also the CHOSEN to show the world that change is possible, if only homosexuals would take the challenge to change and not change the world to benefit their sexual preference, like many homosexuals in high places. I love many homosexual men, even a few that have come back to their first love, God, to get their life right. Many straights have problems too and are in denial. Looking for any relationship while in this state of mind while not help anyone---especially not u. Try to talk to someone at your family church. They may even b glad to help since not many homosexuals do this. GOOD-LUCK

Answer 5

there are lots of places to get support. check out the pflag website (includes advice for dealing with family issues, as well as chapters in your area)

being gay doesn't mean you can't live a "normal" life... you can have kids, get a job, etc. some people may not think gays are "normal", but some people didn't hink blacks were "normal" and things like segregation have been abolished since then. don't worry... a lot of people are doing everything they can to make sure we have the right to the normal lives we deserve.

Answer 6

i went through reparative therapy for 8-10 years (make you straight therapy) because of my religious views. I came to terms with this and studied and found what i have always been told is rubbish in the Bible. That is says nothing of the sort.

I have two kids with my female partner ( i am a woman) and we live a very normal life.

Answer 7

I understand your inner conflict. Coming out as gay isn't easy at all, especially in a highly religious family background, and in the face of the unfortunately continuning societal prejudices. And for someone who's as young as you are, it really isn't easy at all to understand just who you are, and come to a resolution within yourself.

Turning straight isn't easy either. I'll suggest looking up a counsellor/ clinical psychologist/ counselling psychologist who's not afraid to work with gays without the risk of transferance. Ideally, he/ she should be someone who has plenty of experience working with gays. Perhaps you could place an inquiry in this area on a recognized gay forum to get some recommendations as to whom to see?

Ultimately, unfortunately, the decision has to come from within yourself.

Answer 8

There are support groups out for young people who are discovering that they're gay. What is a "normal" life? I am a heterosexual, but as a single woman without children, society sees me as an aberration. I, however, do not and am happy with my life. Accept yourself for who you are. People who truly love you will accept you, too. Those who judge you will have to face their own judgment day.

Answer 9

You have a hard decision to make. Just make sure you aren't confused and make the wrong choice that could really affect you he rest of your life. Good luck. Pops

Answer 10

you have to decide for yourself just what exactly "normal" means. Once you have decided that, it is simply a matter of choosing that path. It is your life, not your family''s life, not anyone elses life, just yours.