After 15 years of separation......?

Question

my ex-wife wants me back. She says it was the biggest mistake she ever made. We are Catholic and never Divorced.
I am vacillating. The biggest road block to getting back together is.....she annoys the H*** out of me. Any ideas?

I call her my ex to avoid exsplaining separation. I raised our son and her daughter from previous marrage. In fifteen years I quit smoking,drinking started to live a better and moral life.

This may sound stupid but i believe in the intrinsic value of keeping a promise.

Answer 1

Can you live with someone who annoys the h---out of you? Life is more then just keeping promises...its the day in and day out stuff that makes it worth while. If you're the kind of guy that can live with someone and love them inspite of their often annoying quirks, etc., then go for it.
But most of us need someone compatible whom we enjoy being with to help us find fulfilment in life.
Obviously you're unsure of this yourself or you wouldn't have written.
A good question to ask yourself is Are you better with her or without her?
And really discuss it with God. Write down your thoughts as youpray and reread them when you're done. Try to leave 'duty' out of the equation at first. Just pray and see what thoughts flow afterwards. That's often God speaking to us.
Also, what gives you the most peace...Don't squelch that. Do you have a peace when you think of getting back with her? If not, I would seriously rethink that position. A quiet peace often comes with God's answer. I try never to make a move without it.
Does she know she annoys you? If she does, is she working on that? It sounds like something that could change in her...or maybe it's just something that needs to change in you...Prayer will help with all of this.
I wish you luck and blessings.

Answer 2

Go with your heart sweetheart
it should never steer you wrong
There is some reason why neither of you remarried
If your having second thoughts, then maybe you should wait a little longer.
Everybody is annoying to someone. Just how annoying is the question. Can you deal with the annoyance to gain back all you used to have, and maybe more? 15 years is a lifetime and you both are different people. the fact that you are still friends says a lot.
Good luck and {{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you

Answer 3

You need to do what is best for you. If after 15 years of being apart it took her to come to this conclusion I would wander what made her think it was the biggest mistake of her life. Now, after all these years I don't think you want to be unhappy with taking her back. Only you know what decision is best for you.

Answer 4

first of all I'm not saying get back together but why didn't you divorce her? I know catholics don't believe in that because I'm catholic too. but since you have been separated had you had any contact with her? I have gone through something like this me and my husband had been separated for 6 years and we didn't have any contact in all that time. he had told me that he made a big mistake by leaving me and the kids and if I would give him another chance. I mean it was really pathetic. he had tried everything to get me back even make a fool of his self in front of a couple of hundred people. but I told him if I do take him back we need to go to counseling together and we would need to work on our issues. we had a lot of problems but we had worked them out and I found out that he did change. there were things he did that annoyed me and i let him know what they were. but the only reason i took him back was because I still loved him and I was willing to try and work things out between us. and he still loved me too and wanted to try and work things out. we had missed each other very much and it did hurt when we separated but I needed to think about why I was leaving him and the kids and their well being. but you have to ask yourself if you still love her and if your willing to save your marriage or not. do you even know why you left her or why she left you. does she still annoy the hell out of you? do you went her back or not. you need to think about what you went and need first of all. if there isn't any feelings there I would say not get back together with her but give her a divorce. because there might not be anything to save. and explain to her why you don't went to get back with her if you don't went to get back together with her. if you do get back together well I hope things will be different this time aroundfor the two of you. good luck.

Answer 5

If you want her to keep annoying the hell out of you, then you can get back together again. I do not see myself getting back together with any body, (catholic or no catholic) after they left me for someone else, (for 15yrs).

Answer 6

If she annoys you, I suggest not getting back together. I (personal opinion) see you trying to make it work because of your religion and not because you want her back. Keep your space and take it slow, date again but do not rush into anything or I see you separating again.

Answer 7

If you've only been seperated she is NOT your ex wife. She is STILL your wife, whether she annoys you or not. If she annoys you why didn't you get a divorce, then all of this wouldn't come up.

Answer 8

What she has just realized it was a big mistake after 15yrs,more like she has had her fun and now she wants the security of marriage again.Good Luck.

Answer 9

What would be the reason to get back together ? You don`t talk about feelings, kids, forgiveness...nothing. Religion didn`t stop you from separating don`t make it the reason to get back together.

Answer 10

You need counseling. A LOT of counseling for both of you. If you're Catholic then you know the church has programs for people like you.