Did it work? What did you talk about?
Tomorrow at 6pm my husband and I are attending our first session. I'm not really sure how to proceed......
How often should we go? What would you reccomend?
Thanks!
2007-06-18 14:45:39 · 13 answers · asked by Reading and Answering Your Q' 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree that it is a valuable tool IF both of you are willing to go and be honest and try to change the things you don't like about your marriage.
But it is not a magic wand...and it doesn't work for everybody.
Good luck !!!
2007-06-18 15:04:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a Parenting Coach...a little different from a counselor but the same in some instances. When I intervene in a family over parenting styles/issues the main problem lies in communication. Before children they didn't take the time to discuss the things that make a family work, religion, discipline, family dynamics, how many children..so on and so on. Some times they feel like their lives have taken on a role that they didn't agree to. Then resentment takes the wheel and the wreck is soon to come.
While talking try and use "I" statements...don't accuse or demean his character...nothing will come of the conversation and he will become defensive. Be honest, be willing to hear him out, be willing to compromise, be willing to be wrong, admit your wrong doing.
Good Luck
2007-06-18 23:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by Cristi Brewer-Allen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my soon to be ex attended counseling for 3 months a year ago, we went once a week. It would have worked had he tried harder and had he allowed me to discuss his alcoholism. You must both be honest and open and willing to discuss everything if you want it to work. A good counselor will guide you through the steps and provide you with homework to help you explore and discuss your issues. Most of all you must both be committed to doing whatever it takes to save your marriage--you must both try hard to see the others point of view and do what is necessary to resolve the issues. I wish you a lot of luck---divorce is very hard emotionally and financially.
2007-06-18 22:35:03 · answer #3 · answered by KatieB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The counselor will tell you how often you need to be seen. The first visit he or she will probably just talk about your history and general problems. It will be more detailed after that. If you or your husband do not feel comfortable with this therapist then talk about it and choose another.
I went to marriage counseling; we went every other week. It was not the correct therapist for us. Neither my husband nor I liked him.
2007-06-18 21:52:28 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your situation all depends on what kind of problems you're having. (money, intimacy, kids) We tried counseling ONCE....left more irate than when I walked in. But, ours was all financial. I'll never forget the counselors face at the end of our session when she told my hubby, "i see we won't be needing another session at this point.." LOL. BUT, we're back together, stronger than ever... all because of blessings from above. If you guys truly want to make things work, at least try it....then you'll know for sure that you tried that avenue, whatever the end result. Hope it goes well!
2007-06-18 21:50:39 · answer #5 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and it worked for us. Discuss what you want to accomplish and how to go about it. You will figure out how often to go when you get there. Good luck to you.
Also, make sure this is a counselors you both like. If not, try another. There are good and bad ones depending on the individuals involved.
2007-06-18 21:56:35 · answer #6 · answered by dragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counselling is big business in the USA. Here we just talk while having a cup of tea and the problem is solved. Sadly everything is counselling now. It seems no can make a decision these days without counselling.
2007-06-18 21:51:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My ex and I went for a number of months. It got a lot of stuff out on the table and discussed and resolved some of the issues but it only works if you're both being faithful at the time and are honest.
2007-06-18 21:50:27 · answer #8 · answered by Net Rider 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You might only need once a week. Talk about things that he does that bothers you. The counselor will ask the questions but thats usually one of them.
We went once before marriage and thats all it took. We were already aware of the issues and saying them outloud just made them all better. It wasnt anything major just marriage jitters.
2007-06-18 21:49:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES YES YES BEST THING WE EVER DID (except to marry each other - lol). At our 10th anniv neither of us would have bet there would have been an 11th. Neither of us wanted to quit the marriage, but neither wanted it to go on the way we were. Our counselor started with both of us, then met with each of us, then met with both of us again (different nights) and helped us to see our problem and to get our act together. I think total of 8 to 10 weeks. We are about to celebrate our 41st anniv. Don't expect immediate miracles. It takes work on both parties, but it is well worth it. Good luck to you both.
2007-06-18 22:12:47 · answer #10 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋