WHY try to achieve, grow, improve, etc?

Question

Why NOT just play it safe and avoid life as much as possible? I've always been a person who, when I've wanted something but it involved what I considered to be a lot of effort, I always said "nevermind, I'll do without". Which is why I'm almost 34 never had a gf and a virgin. It's also why I have a huge gut, have a job that pays $13/hr because it doesn't require much effort on my part.

And why do women not want a guy like me with no life experience? It just means I'm innocent, which can't be a bad thing. And since the relationship I want is just sitting around cuddling and saying I love you and calling each other pet names, what does it matter what kind of life experience I've had?

Most people my age have had all these "adventures" and have all kinds of "cool" sounding stories to tell. But I bet many of those times were not so fun while they were going through them at the time. I'd rather experience nothing at all than experience anything uncomfortable or unpleasant.

Answer 1

WHY try to achieve, grow, improve, etc?
The answer is different for the human species than for the one person.
For the human beings: It is in our essence, in our genes, in our will to power. That is what God intended or if not God, nature intended. That tendency has different intensity in different cultures and different people. It is there nevertheless.
You have it too, albeit, much less than others in your particular group, you however have it to a greater extend than others in your culture or in other cultures.
It is not a bad idea to limit your exposure to avoid unpleasantness, for there is a lot of that out there. So, you are not alone in your attitude. Anyhow, I am sure your experiences will grow in time, at your own pace.

Answer 2

1. I've heard massaging your head while putting in shampoo helps it grow and getting it cut regularly (split ends only) 2. You can buy highlighting kits or easy blonde hair dyes to bring your hair up lighter 3. Make sure and clean your skin well and use moisturiser often 4. Exfoliating? I don't know I would like to know myself :L 5. You could use hair dye? 6. Just using a good cleanser but you can't get rid of them all together 7. Using weights but don't push yourself too hard 8. Doing ab exercises sit ups, crunches or going to the gym often 9. Go on a diet if you must eat healthy, exercise 10. I'm not sure how to reduce your thigh size sorry 11. Whenever you see yourself going to bit your nails do something different with your hands or chew gum? 12. ?? 13. Using a leave in conditioner after you get out the shower and try to to burn or damage it so avoid using heat produce as much as possible 14. Detangle spray, leave in conditioner or you can buy a brush called "tangle teaser" or something like that which works! 15. Frizzies anything really :L 16. I use GHD and there pretty good :) 17. You can whiten your teeth by mixing baking soda and water to a paste then putting it on and brushing your teeth, mixing brown sugar (or any other sugar) and veg oil you can make a lip exfoliator leave it on your lips for 2 minutes then wash it off gently, use face masks, shower regularly and keep up good hygiene :) hope I helped!

Answer 3

It is said that life is a challenge in itself, an adventure and a risk worth taking. You have not lived life if you have not experienced going through obstacles.

It is not good to remain passive all the time, it makes your life dull and boring. Sometimes, it is good to take some risks, to pit talents against another, to find out what your strengths and weaknesses are and to use these strengths to your advantage.

It is also very understandable why women prefer men who are not only virile but adventurous as well. They make life more exciting, more fun. Remember that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Who wants to live with a guy who just sit and cuddle and smooch all the while? It gets wearisome in time. No variety, no spice - really really boring.I

Answer 4

listen to what you are saying it is so contradictory!!! I don't think that most would have a problem with not having experience or your past.. your present and your current outlook your overall vision.. and it sounds to me that all of s sudden the one that has through out all of his life "tried to avoid life as much as possible" now wants to be a part of it more than anything!!! and to be honest with you that is great!!! because that first statement in your question I found to be the MOST DISTURBING & the biggest turnoff.. not for nothing then why bother feeding yourself and getting up out of bed?.. that's terrible... but the fact that you now want more well that means that you are alive and there is hope for you yet.. you can't be this existence that you have had for the past 34yrs of your life.. but that just existence.. taking up resources and a waste.. and i only think that it is a waste not because you have as you said "played it safe" because if that were it.. then THERE WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!! however, that is not the case.. you have let your life be governed by fear and set yourself up for disappointment and failure.. it is a BIG shame that you have not had a chance throughout all of this time to truly experience the satisfaction and pleasure of effort and struggle.. when you reach a goal where you had to work for and struggle try and fail.. but after failing finally also succeeding and enjoying even excelling those are things sooo gratifying that you could never experience from "playing it safe" not for nothing the grand majority of people do not like or enjoy monotony and well good luck finding someone who will be tolerant/patient with that lifestlye.. like i said earlier i think that we all like to be around people that have strong convictions, dreams, visions, values, hard workers.. and well those are the biggest flaws.. i mean DETERIMENTS in your life philosophy it has worked for you it seems but how much longer will you yourself be able to live with it or find someone who will have done it for as long as you who will understand.. WOULD YOU REALLY, REALLY "RATHER EXPERIENCE NOT AT ALL THAN EXPERIENCE ANYTHING UNCOMFORTABLE OR UNPLEASANT?..." COME ON!!! I on the otherhand seriously believe like I've already said that you yourself don't really believe that yourself and want to do otherwise but you can't since you programmed yourself for so long to not live.. that you are afraid to act.. and have no idea how to go about it!!

Answer 5

Look closely at what you have written. What are stating is that you currently live how you see fit regardless of social norms and would like to trade that for what society deems as the norm.
What do you think is outside of you that can give you anything? The experience of sex outside of procreation is the same as eating when you are bored. The pursuit of pleasure is the cultural norm. Your culture not only demands that you spend you time running from it's idea of 'boredom' but that you also must search for 'happiness'. This 'happiness' is only the idea of unending eternal pleasure with no pain. It is is an impossibility. These stories of 'adventures' are complete exaggerations of the reality of what ever happened. The reality is that people were looking for something to make them feel pleasure and either got it or not. The rest is fluff.

There is no relationship here. Only two people getting what they want from each other. If one is not getting what they want then problems are created so they can leave.

Forget about all of this nonsense and continue living as you are. There is nothing out there that will give you anything. You have all you need.

Answer 6

I don't mean to be offensive but in my opinion, its either you are one very lazy person or you need to see a doctor or you're just a coward.

you have withdrawal symptoms which is a sign also of depression.

responsibility and knowing how to face your obligations is essential in living and people want responsible people who can be relied upon. love and cuddling alone is not enough.
if by saying "i love you" to a person means truthfully that you love that person, you would hurdle all obstacles and face your obligations, duties, and responsibilities just so you can give the one you love a better life and a better future.

life is all about changes and with change comes risks and challenges. Get out off your comfort zone and have a taste of real life. its better to have lived your life to the fullest than never experiencing life at all. there are so much to do in life and a lifetime is not enough to do those many good things.

Answer 7

Sounds infinitely boring to me, are you sure you're actually alive?

Pain is by definition unpleasant but without it we'd be in a rather poor state - look at people who don't feel pain or those with leprosy (who often lose fingers because when they're asleep they can't feel rats start to gnaw at their flesh so they don't brush them away).

Sometimes things take effort, but then perhaps that's a measure of acheivement to acomplish something that isn't easy? If life was meant to be effortless then we'd have wheels and everything would always be downhill.

But hey, on the other hand, whatever floats your boat pal... if you're happy with that life then don't let anyone tell you different.

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with what you suggest. I might add two things though.

I consider a measure of success of one's philosophy in life based on important factor -- contentment. If you are unhappy then your philosophy of life is lacking. If, on the other hand, you are happy and content then you have surpassed many.

I agree that envying others is pointless. No matter how one describes the "cool" stories in their life, there is often consequences -- and unpleasant ones at that.

Personally, fear is a powerful motivator in and of itself. As is disappointment. Or, should I say avoiding these experiences can be a motivation. However, these unpleasant states are usually nothing more than a product of our own thinking.

If you're happy, kudos.

Answer 9

In a way a feel sorry for you. I could not live like that. I love life, I love to achieve things, I love to grow and improve. I am not talking about money, property, high paid job. I am on a disability pension but still an achiever, I still grow within myself and still improve my life. My next achievement is a project in Africa. With our group backing us up here in WA, my husband and I go to Zambia to build a school and agricultural training centre to help people in an isolated area. And you know it feels great when we see the faces of the kids being happy if you give them a pencil and a piece of paper to write or draw on. It feels good to see the women being able to grow more vegetables and feed their kids better. It feels good to see youth sit together and discuss what they can do to improve the living standards of their community.

Go out into the world and have a good look. Have a look at yourself. Ask yourself questions what am I doing next week, next month etc. Life is ours to enjoy with other people.

Answer 10

It sounds like your a good man who puts out minimal effort. It really isn't worth what they say it is. I'd still be a virgin if I could be. Just wait until you find someone who will accept you for what you are. Your idea of a relationship isn't far off from what most women want. Maybe someday soon she'll find you.