I have been working hard at getting back together with my husband (we've been separated for almost 3 yrs). I made a date with him for Thursday to go out as a family and celebrate my son's graduation. Throughout our separation he has felt the loss of losing my family and truly misses everyone. So we set the date to go out and now i just got a call from my family saying "we made dinner reservations" because my 1 sister is in town visiting and it is on that same day as my family dinner. My family is pressuring me to change my plans, but i feel like i will be setting myself up for a big fight w/my husband because he will take it that i'm blowing him off to go out w/my family. In a perfect world he would say, go, have fun and we'll reschedule... but it's not that way and i feel he will feel very hurt over this.... actually I KNOW he we feel hurt and will react in not the best way... sooooo what would you do?
2007-06-18 14:41:57 · 17 answers · asked by pinebarrons1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would keep the plans I had made with my husband and son. Family needs to understand that these plans are important. Don't let it be a debate with them, don't give in to their pressure, do what you wanted to do and what you planned to do first.
2007-06-18 14:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by hazel b grand 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should be the priority if you are trying to put your family back together. I'm sure your Son would want to do the family thing with his Father rather than his Aunt. Call your sister and tell her that you had already committed to plans with your son to celebrate with your husband. That your sorry but this was made before you knew about their plans and to change would disapoint your son. Organize a lunch date with your sister or plans for another time. I would make my marriage and the family core my priority.
If you won't do that than at least tell your family that it's vital your husband be invited as well as you are currently working on family issues a previous oblilgation you made to him makes it essential he be included as it is a celebration for your SON and BOTH parents should be included. Otherwise you will have to decline the invitation and keep the previous engagement with your husband.
2007-06-18 21:53:26 · answer #2 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you want to get back together with your husband THEN that is what you should do!
In my home, my HUSBAND and KIDS come before my parents and siblings.
That is JUST how it should be!
Your sister is your sister - if you don't make the dinner she'll understand!!!! You could always see her the next day BUT you're in a SERIOUS situation where you're trying to work things out and fix your OWN family! YOU come first!
Tell everyone to BUTT out - maybe that's WHY you're in this situation in the first place?!
NO ONE comes before YOU, your HUSBAND and your KIDS!!!! - EVER - PERIOD!!!!!!!!!
2007-06-18 21:56:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your family pressuring you to skip your plans to celebrate your son's graduation? How is your son going to feel if you cancel on him? See your sister during the day, or the following day, but keep your ready made plans.
2007-06-18 21:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by haver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you should keep the date with your husband, if you cancel now he would be disappointed and upset. Tell your family that you won't be able to make it or you will be late. If this is what takes for you and your husband to reunite then you should put that as a priority.
2007-06-18 21:50:52 · answer #5 · answered by lissette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask "us" whether you would rather be with your husband or your sister, then I don't think you really care about him. Especially since the two of you have been estranged for three !! years. That is quite a while, you guys just couldn't find the time to work on your marriage? Gee, maybe it's time to let it go.....
2007-06-18 21:51:05 · answer #6 · answered by Tilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize to your sister that you can't be with her and go out with your husband. If you do not go out with your husband, you will set back everything you have worked towards in reconciliating with your husband.
If your family has to be mad at you, just let them be mad at you. They will get over it. Whatever you do, do NOT cancel your dinner plans with your husband. This is imperative. If you put your husband first, he will always remember this and know that you really love him.
2007-06-18 21:49:37 · answer #7 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short answer: Go with your husband even though you are separated.
Long answer: Your family will be mad at you but they will still be your family if you eat with your husband and son. Can you say the same thing if you eat with your family and not your "family"?
2007-06-18 21:47:54 · answer #8 · answered by Someone somewhere doing something 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want your hubby back as bad as you say you do, keep the date with him. Your family will always be there, and if they turn on you for trying to get your family back together----they're the ones with bigger problems than you. I wouldn't disappoint hubby if you're really trying to make it. Hope it all works out...i'm rooting for you!
2007-06-18 21:46:31 · answer #9 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep the date with the husband,work on that relationship first if he is what you really want...your family should understand that you need to work on that...family will always be there for you if they really love you and they should understand that working on that relationship is important to you right now...good luck
2007-06-18 21:50:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋