...have boys spend the night at your vacation house? We have a summer cottage and my (almost 17 year old) daughter has a few guy friends who she insists on having come visit her. It's within driving distance, so not that big a deal. But with her older brother, I let him bring his GIRLFRIEND down for the night when they were 18. She's only 16 and this boy is just a friend. Obviously the friend would stay in another bedroom.
What do you think? Is this appropriate? Or is my daughter asking for too much?
2007-06-18 13:18:33 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Martha- the girlfriend was in another room on a seperate floor. My son shared a room with his brother so I doubt he'd do anything WITH his brother in the room.
Emma- That's what I was thinking, my daughter keeps pulling the "but you let him!" card
2007-06-18 13:29:44 · update #1
If its within driving distance then they can drive home with no problem. I would not let him spend the night whether I was there or not. I had alot of sex when my parents were just in the room.
2007-06-18 13:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by Oops! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that happened with my daughter, I would take the information straight to the school and the authorities. I would then not let my daughter out of my sight until the whole thing was COMPLETELY taken care of and the CHILD MOLESTER in jail. If the situation were not handled locally, I would call Chris Hansen in to do a full story on it, and I would tell the police and the school system that they had blown their chance to remain anonymous. I would then show my daughter all the love I possibly could even through her rage and tears, and I would move if I had to. Someday that girl is going to resent the hell out of her parents. I know--I come from a North Carolina town where the same behavior ran rampant in the schools. The coaches prey on the girls who admire them instead of being flattered but protective over them. It's a circus there. I've witnessed it more times than you can imagine. When you ask what the world's coming to, you've got to understand that in the '80's when I was in high school there, no one did ANYTHING about it, and it didn't make the news. TWO girls in my town married the coaches, and no one did a thing. Now, they married them when they were around 20, but they had been sleeping with them since they were 16. It just makes me sick, but it's actually progress that it made the news.
2016-05-19 01:33:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you shouldn't have let him. When I was 18 I stayed over night in the basement 2 floors beneath my then boyfriend now husband and we managed for be romantic - basically if there is a will there is a way. Parents were there and lots of supervision but it still went on. Now that I think about it and have children at a certain age this will happen but sorry for your daughter 16 is way too young. You are MOM and you say NO!
2007-06-18 13:58:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. Well, first of all, it depends on how much you trust your daugther. Does she seem like the type to do that? If she does, ignore the rest of this message.
Well, how about you just go for the "fun mom" thing (you get brownie points!) and tell her, "why don't you just invite all your friends over? It'll be a slumber party!" you know, act all enthusiatstic. Have 4 or so kids (girls and boys, uneven) over, have them sleep in your living room (or any other large room where you can hear everything) together, leave your door open a crack so you can hear if anything happens, and lock the door to guest bedrooms, etc, so they couldn't get in. If they don't have any private places to go, I doubt your daugter and some other guy would just start having sex in front of three other people.
2007-06-18 14:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't let your daughter make these decisions! She's 16 and she wants to have a FEW guy friends come and sleepover? Why not have a girlfriend sleepover instead? Be careful she could get a reputation like that! There is no reason for a guy to "sleep over" under your roof, on your watch. Sounds very naive and irresponsible.
2007-06-18 13:49:04 · answer #5 · answered by Mom_2_1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say at least let hime come spend the day with her since it's in driving distance. If tht goes well then why not? My dad was so horrible about letting my brother do things that were strictly forbidden for me . That is one of the most frustrating things. Give her a chance. Just let her know if she breaks your trust they'll be no more chances. Let her prove herself to you. She will appreciate that. And if she does screw up, she cant say you didnt try to be fair.
2007-06-18 13:25:49 · answer #6 · answered by vanillashimmer21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was looking at the yahoo answers thing yesterday and I saw this.....THIS RESPONSE IS COMING FROM A GUY...
i saw this and had to answer.....
Now...Im a little older than that guy but I know wuts up......
-First off, mistake with the older brother...Shouldnt have done that
-Second, let him stay in the vacation house and let your daughter stay at home(at night) during the day....go to the house...pop in every now and then and take her back home at night or STUFF WILL GO DOWN GUARENTEED!
GUYS ARE ONLY LOOKING TO GET LAID....IM ONE OF THEM...TRUST ME!!!
AS MUCH AS IM "COCKBLOCKING" THAT GUY...W/E DONT LET IT HAPPEN!!!
KEEP THEM AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN WHEN YOU ARENT AROUND!!!! IF THERES A WILL THERES A WAY!!!!!
2007-06-19 10:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by John H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you truelly trust youre daughter then let her have her get together i doubt that shes going to have wild crazy sex theyll probably just do what me and my friends do both male and female they will stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning talking about random stuff about the people they like plus think about it you can always have someone put in cameras to makesure nothing happens plus it also acts as a security system so you know if someones in the house that shouldnt be honostly if i wanted to go and have sex with my gf i wouldnt ask if i could use the house id take the keys and id go out there my parents know im there thus they dont know anythings going on
P.S sorry if i was to literal with my words
2007-06-18 13:42:23 · answer #8 · answered by jax 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kids can be really manipulative. I know because I used to be one, not so long ago! I would like to say that I wouldn't let my kids have overnight guests of the opposite sex at all under my roof, at least not until they're at least 20 or so. But my kids have a long way to go before they get to that point (they're all toddlers now) and I can't say for sure that's the way it will go. I can tell you that my younger sister had lots of friends who talked their parents into overnight guests of the opposite sex, and 3 of them ended up pregnant before the age of 16 (one of them at 13, when her boyfriend's parents let her spend the night with them at their lakehouse, eeeekk!). It's a tricky situation, for sure. You want your kids to feel like you trust them, but you're afraid of the consequences trusting them might bring! I'm sure you will make the decision that is right for your family! Good luck!
2007-06-18 13:28:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will you be there? If so you have to have some trust and set bounderies.
If it is sex, she can do that anywhere. Keeping them away from there will not stop anything, it may only cause her to hide things.
I say talk to her and let them come. As long as you are around or a responsible adult.
2007-06-18 13:24:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋