Cheating spouse?

Question

I am a 25 year old mommy that lives in california, i found out that my spouse was cheating on me but i dont want to brack up my family because my children love there dad. please help me what should I do ????

Answer 1

The question to you is can you forgive and forget yes I mean forget because truly people keep bringing it back up when their upset and nagging and angry thats because they keep thinking about it it is wrong to put the person are the kids through so much drama. Next question will you think is he doing it now he has been gone for an hour give me a break most women can not do this but if you think you can go ahead but please think of the babies going through you and you insecurity trips. This is a very emotional situation and very difficult to get past Next when you do go on your emotional trip will he be patient and say well I understand I messed over her and she needs time he is going to be a very special case to be that type of man other wise he is going to say you are getting on my damn nerves get a hobbie and get the hell off my back I said it nice. If you stay get ready for wwf rumble be blessed pray

Answer 2

I am so sorry that your husband cheated. The unfortunate news in situations like this is that there is no instruction book, the good news is that there is no protocol either. You aren't fored to divorce him if you don't want to.

What you have to do is talk to your husband and be certain that he is willing to rededicate himself to your marriage and do the hard work that it takes to rebuild the trust between you. If he is sincerely contrite you two have a fighting chance.

The first step is to find a marriage counselor. When looking for a good marriage counselor you might want to find a practice where there are a number of therapists. The intake person at a good practice will discuss with you yout communication styles and pick the right person for you. Most counseling places will also have some sort of program where they will work with you on a sliding scale basis for payments.

Let's say he isn't sincere or interested in working things out--say he wants to leave...you can't very well keep him around against his will but you can let him know that he can leave and if he wants to come back and be serious you are always open to reconcile somewhere down the line....if you are still available.

In the end it's probably not a good idea to stay together just for the kids. It ends up putting a tremendous amount of pressure on the children to make you two happy. As Dr. Phil says, kids have a remarkable way of blaming themselves for their parents problems. Imagine if the two of you stuck it out and weren't happy and it really was just becuse of them that you two tortured yourselves....

You have to make your own decision as to what will work for you but the first thing is really first...you should get counseling before you make any decisions...if he will do that then you are on your way to repair your marriage.

Best Wishes!

Answer 3

Very good question.

There really isn't much you can do with a cheating spouse. That is a decision that you have to make. You have 2 roads, either stay or leave. Whichever one you do, you have to stick to your guns and not move. This is a very critical phase in your relationship. If you don't act now, it sets the precedent for every other "mishap" in the future. If you stay, let him know you're in it for the long haul with him and that you will love him until the day he dies. Don't treat him any different, you've accepted the mistake he made, now move on. Don't stay and treat him badly because you want to get him back. It becomes this back and forth, waste of time an energy event. Move on and see and experience life with him. If you decide to leave then you must just go. Not divorce, separate. Give him, and you, some time to think about and reevaluate your relationship. If he cheated, and you can't accept it, then go away, hurt and and get over it until you can muster up energy to deal with it. At this point, talking probably really wouldn't do any good. Take the kids with you and schedule ample time with you and him to be with the kids. You never want to have their relationship broken with him.

Point is, you have to show him your strong. You are the type of person that gives and deserves respect. Either go forward into a new life with him, or take time to clear your head until you can or maybe never.

I really hope this works out for you.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear this.this must be a tough situation for you and the children. in my opinion i don't think you should be putting up with a cheating spouse because of your kids.if you let this go he will feel free to do it again and think that its ok because you want to keep the family together.you and the kids don't necessarily have to live with him in order to have a healthy relationship with him.I'm sure you are a nice person and would do whats best for you and your kids. you can move on and in the long wrong you can find someone that will appreciate you and the kids more then your husband does.good luck

Answer 5

It won't do you any good to be sure if he's cheating. in case you do not have confidence him and you suspect he has been untrue- in simple terms pass away. while you're in simple terms unsure- then refer to him. attempting to sneak around can't do something different than help you justify your anger if he's cheating. quite, that is in simple terms not particularly worth it. You deserve extra appropriate than that. i assume what it comes all the way down to is: might you be waiting to forgive him if he did? If the respond is particular, then attempt counseling- which will help. If not- then brace your self for the worst and confront him. He would be under pressure and which would be inflicting in spite of replace in habit that delivered approximately you asking this question. good success!

Answer 6

Take some time of your won to think why he is cheating. If you think if at least partially your fault, then you should give him a second chance. Of course, this is always thinking that you two will talk about it, that he will be sorry, that he will be honest to you and will agree to try harder.

In that case, you have also to agree to fix whatever problems you have, or at least work it out with him. If you are the reason for cheating, you have the power to fix it.

Now, if you have no reasons to think you are responsible, and after talking to him he can not give you an explanation besides “the other girl has a better body” or “she does it better in bed than you”, then is up to you to give him a second chance. Is very nice of you to think of your kids and to be willing to sacrifice your life and happiness for them, but everything has a limit, and you must consider if is worth it or not.

Unless you are convinced he will change and will never cheat again as he is really going to try to be a better husband, to give a second chance to him just to end up cheating again is not worth it as you will end up separating him sooner or later.

Good luck.

Answer 7

It's time for a serious discussion with your husband. If he is a serial cheater, the situation could be intolerable. I applaud you for wanting to try for the children but your husband has to start owning up to his part of the marriage as well.

Answer 8

What does he want to do? If he wants to stay together then I would try marriage counseling for a couple of months. By that time you should have a better idea of what you want to do. I would suspect that you are pretty emotional right now - not always the best time to make a big life decision.

Answer 9

first off is he has gotta stop that selfish behavior. Then get him tested for stds. If you can trust him again then you both need to really work on what makes the other happy. good luck

Answer 10

Im sorry but if ever my husband cheated on me hes out...lost his chance. Be happy for you and your kids and find someone who loves you with all their heart. Men are good...good men are rare but they are out there. If he loved you he would never have thought about another one. I know this b/c my hubby tells me everyday theres no one out there that can come close to you. To me that is love in a nutshell. Just take care of yourself and make urself happy. In the end your kids will understand and also be happy.