is it just me being a hard case or councellors doesnt really helps everyone?

Question

y! answers should have more categories. I hope its okay if this is in psychology. but there is something wrong with my mind.

I have a councellor that I talk to through msn and she doesnt understands me. she doesnt get it why I would do some things. saying 'you have an issue' doesnt really helps. now I just signed off cause she became annoying. I guess I'm a hard case. and she kept talkin about herself. its me that has problems!!!! she has to listen and advice. its ok if a councellor tells something about them, but this one just doesnt helps me. I have another one and he knows how to help but again, he doesnt understands me completely. or I expect from councellors too much????

now I'm again at the beginning. I was hopeful that she would help me tonight being that sweet guy again, but she didnt helped me, nothing. she wants me to tell whats on my mind. if thats what councellors do, then I need someone else that knows how to help.

I think its true: if you wanna understand why people kill, you have to be a killer by yourself. but I wouldnt kill and everyone thinks if I have evil thoughts that I would kill. why everyone thinks of killing?

so, there is one thing: dont think I'm some new person that needs help. I had problems and I solved them. but this problem is a huge one. I'm not stressed, its not the hormones (everyone thinks of that). I've been through some stuff but I know that this isnt a phase or something like that. I'm not a newbie in problems. I fought some problems but this problems are too big.

why would I hurt a girl? why I judge people? why I dont like homosexuals anymore, even if I used to been bisexual? do you see yourself as a person that would know how to help me? then please help me. maybe it sounds like a small problem. I dont wanna think of my friend that hates her dad as some typical teenager. she has a reason to hate him, but I have to be a bastard and argue with her that is just hormones hating her dad.

anyone cares to help me???? I wanna be that sweet guy again like I used to be. but I just get sick of everything quickly. I dont wanna be like this. change me back, someone, please.

Answer 1

One doesn't need to be a killer to 'understand' one ...
The latest research tells us: It's all in the brains. Stop going to a counsellor. Go to the hospital and sign up for a brain transplant ... Be sure you apply for the 'nice guy' ones...

Answer 2

Hey don't take it bad but this is called growing old...I am sorry it's an illness everybody suffers. Don't worry, it will come a time when you won't be so worried about things. The bad news is that you can't come back to what you were, because that is what happens and when we grow old and no matter how much or how hard you fight it, it's not going to stop. And this goes on stages. When you get to certain ages you wish to turn the clock back, but it's not going to happen. What you have to do (and I know it's hard because it took myself sometime to realize) it's to center yourself in the present and enjoy every single day as a new experience. Forget about the past 'cause it's not going to come back, and that will blind what you have in front of you right now. Forget discretly about the future 'cause nobody knows what is reserved to any of us and that will give anxiety and fear and worry. Wake up every day and give thanks to whomever you believe in for a new day, for a new breath for free, for those that are still around you and love you, and live your life as a travel, where you'll find smooth roads sometime and gravel another, good weather and bad, and enjoy the landscape and the company, and throw away all the luggage you don't need. Good luck.

Answer 3

As a mental health professional with 20+ years experience, now retired, I can first of all tell you that you can forget being "changed back", to anything, including that "sweet guy" you think you used to be. Very simple reason being that, as Kurt Vonnegut once wrote, you "can't go home again", so, forget your last request that you ask in your question. No counselor can get you there. And you can't get there on your own either, so, forget it.

Now, returning to your earlier part of your question, it sounds like you have two complaints: One is that counselors, or at least the ones you have visited, can't help you, and, two, you don't like their style of counseling. Answering your two part question / complaint "backwards", I can tell you that if you don't like a therapist's style, you can go to another one, or another or another, and on and on and on. It may take you a while to find one you want, but, if it's necessary to see a counselor, well, it may be worth it. Now, as to the first part of your two part question / complaint, again, it may require you to go into a long search for the "right" counselor. But one thought you might want to carry with you in your search is that some people never can find the therapist they can benefit from. I have had a few clients in that situation, and I've one or two observations I'm willing to share with you. One is that sometimes an individual feels they or their problem is so unique that absolutely no one can understand them and help them. These individuals have drawn into themselves so much that they can't see the "connections" between them and other people, and how another individual might be able to help them. Another observation I've had is that some clients, or potential clients, really don't want someone to help them. They actually find benefit in staying where they are, despite the stresses they feel in doing so. In some situations, such clients actually like to stay where they are as if to revel in the "fact" that "no one can help me". It's almost as if they play the role of "the rebel without a cause", which I think is also the name of a famous movie from back in the early '60's starring James Dean and maybe Natalie Wood or Elizabeth Taylor, and seem to revel in the "starring role". The thing that those clients fail to remember is what a losing role that was for James Dean, and what a losing life his was.

I hope my reflections on the counselling profession and the client types I've discussed above has been helpful to you. God Bless you.

Answer 4

First I'm not a counselor but I am one who understands. I have been in and out of psch wards on meds and had therapists. None of them helped me. In the long run they did a whole lot of damage. The answers you are looking for are within yourself. Only you know what is true and what is false. Psych doctors,therapists and counselors will continually tell you there is something wrong with your mind until you are convinced that there is. They will tell you your perception is screwed up and try to create a happier image in your mind from what the true reality is. They will tell you it is the way you handle situations soforth ECT. The one thing they won't do is take you by the hand and guide you or make wrongs right. Only you know what it is that is bothering you and only you can resolve the situation. If you truely want to help yourself be strong and work towards resolving your problems. Don't let your conscience interfere. Do what you know is right for you. No one is going to fix your problems for you and there isn't anything wrong with your mind.

Answer 5

I'd like to see you as that sweet guy again, too.

Sometimes counselors don't match your personality, so you need to get a different one.

But I think in your case you not only need a new counselor, but a psychiatrist, too. I know you're not planning on killing someone, but what if something makes you really angry, or you're drinking, or you're taking drugs. You might snap, and bang, the world is a whole different place.

It's not normal to think about killing people. It's not normal to have destructive fantasies. Even if you think you won't do it, the rest of us are scared you might. So, for all the rest of us, would you please go to a doctor?

Answer 6

Dude! Whoa, that's a lotta stuff to deal with!!
http://www.myspace.com/hitladyandthegluezoo
Come visit, we'll chat, laugh, listen and when I find ya I'll give ya back. Trust me...the light is on and everything is Okay. K? Counsellors get stuck with all the junk, a friend gets to enjoy helping a new pal? I might learn something from you!

Answer 7

Truth is, counselors and psychologists can only help those who wants to be helped. The one who is seeking help needs to be willing and ready to listen, and put advise to practice.

Yes, you are expecting too much.

If you are thinking, they will help you no matter what, you are wrong. If you are thinking, their advise will help without your active participation, willingness, and firm commitment, you are wrong.

If you need help, you should seek one IN PERSON. Over the phone or over computer terminals are far less effective. If your situations permit, you should seek one in your local area and setup an appointment.

Good luck.

Answer 8

It is not her position to tell you you have issues. You already know that! I mean you wouldn't be in counselling otherwise, so what I recommend you to do is find another counselor quickly! They come a dime a dosen.
No matter what her approach is to therapy she's suppose to use empathy, which she has none. I would be glad to try and help you with your problem, but remember, you have to be willing to change!

Answer 9

No-one can "change you back", only YOU have the power to do that.
If you seriously want help, don't talk to a counsellor via IM, go see a real one!

Answer 10

you sound like you had one or a couple of bad experiences in life,god has the answers for you in the bible,Jesus loves you and he will heal you emotionally and spiritually.