Your comments on this reflection?

Question

she wears black velvet &
depending on her mood,
is Rubenesque
or slim as water

tapered black satin
on her tiny feet;
an imperial princess or
a charming tease

her lashes are the colour of dusk,
her eyes amber, emerald
malachite,
depending on her mood

she moves with grace..
if one expresses sadness or pain,
to gently touch one's face
& lingers long in quiet concern

but do not be surprised
at bursts of child-like energy,
pretending to seriously respond
to feathers, bells & fanciful games

she does not acknowledge compliments,
no princess would;
tell her she is beautiful &
you will see a small pink yawn

in her furry little face...
depending on her mood

[reflecting on a feminine feline]

I didn't write this, so it's up for grabs or bonks or whatever you please. Spontaneously written by someone close to me.

Great! Hope I get more since you were nice enough to give me 3 stars! Steve made me laugh, "..a disgrace to all cats," BlueFeather, read Patzky99 & you'll understand the slim as water metaphor; also your comments about not knowing to the end & how it could be applied to a person--in fact, another friend who read this, thought it described the gal who wrote it until he got close to the end. Patzky, you TRULY understand cats! (Mine is black, too.) I love the link!

ajunker200
pat

Answer 1

The princess of my house, and absolute ruler of my lap is a slinky little Burmese, red tabby cross who likes to turn pages while I read. The poem fits her to a T. Sometimes she forgets her manners and plays reader's digest with important papers I've left lying around, but all's forgiven when we head to bed and she purrs me to sleep. My wife is usually occupied by a funny little round red tabby (That Tom seemed to get around!) a friend rescued from living off birdseed under her feeders. She's been struck by lightning three times ( I keep telling her to reform her ways) and each time he's been in close proximity. The first time was when she picked him up in the garage and was turning to bring him inside, he was blown clear across the full length of the garage and ended up wandering dazed in the rafters. The second time was as she was going out the back door and he was trying to sneak between her feet. A contrite kitty turned and repentantly came back inside. The third time she was sitting in her recliner two feet away from the window in our back room and he was gently stretching underneath. He's purely an inside cat and doesn't know what to do when he gets outside. He managed to pry the door open with his little paws and got out last Thanksgiving, although I saw him by the door I couldn't coax him in. I tracked him in the snow a couple times in the winter and saw where he'd made a successful, bloodless pounce on a squirrel which he carried away through the blackberry brambles and up into the woods behind our house where I couldn't follow him, and again a.couple weeks later did the same with what seemed to be a sizable rabbit, But then came a couple of blizzards and we feared we'd not see him again. Shortly after Easter I heard his plaintive mewing in the garage and managed to set out food, water, and a litter pan and gradually got him into our mud room and closed the door. We took the little pile of skin and bones to the vet and got him re-hydrated and checked over. My wife gently fed him for a couple of weeks and nursed him back to health. He lost his ears to frostbite, but we have the funny little kitten back, who rolls over and likes his tummy rubbed. We're owned by three other cats, but that's another story. Our local vet and SPCA know us well and we seem to get the cats they find hard to place. Cats rule! Dogs drool!

I should turn more to the poem, The metre is fine and regular, catlike in its movement and playfulness, the lines form a wave pattern with a small pounce in the last couplet. The rhythmic structure produces the wave and pounce feel, the last two verses crest the wave, the progression is mathematically regular 21, 23, 24, 24, 32, 28, 12, which is completely factored by 4, she (the cat) is the focal point, there is none other as she capriciously either responds or not on her whims. While it is blank verse there are hints of internal rhymes, and a play between the values of the vowels and variety in the transfer from spondaic to iambic pace. I love the spontaneity of the whole piece, and hope I haven't overly belaboured it by pedantic analysis. Hope some of this makes sense and will be useful to the poet. I'd like to see more. We often more feel and intuit our work, but no true poet works without structure and form. Too much of what passes for poetry these days is anything but.

Answer 2

I like this a lot. I hope I can still make my family (meaning my parents and my 2 brothers) smile with the gifts I buy them for Christmas....I have been quite good at that since I started doing my own Christmas shopping. Having said that, I am on the verge of a panic this year because I have not started the shopping and I still don't really know what anyone might want....and time is running out! Nice poem....as I said, I like it a lot.

Answer 3

Very interesting.

The phrase "slim as water" threw me off a little, but I really like the fact that it doesn't give away what it is about until the end.

And I also think "she does not acknowledge compliments,
no princess would" could EASILY be used in a poem about a person.
§

Answer 4

Great shaggy dog!.... errr cat!.I think this is a major talent. Who ever wrote this could be publishing. I see it illustrated with about twenty others penned in the same teasing spirit. Write some more and get an agent.
really!

Answer 5

an observant writer noticed that cats are whatever you didn't expect them to be, and there's the enticement: "...tell her she is beautiful & you will see a small pink yawn..." as MY black jack sits perched above me on my chair, ignoring me as i try to stroke him, but tapping me gently when i stop. so i continue.

i remember a poem from long ago called "cats sleep fat, and walk thin". i will have to re-visit it and share it with you: it describes purrfectly (sorry) the dichotomy that is a cat, and is so beautifully described by the writing you shared with us. the words meander as lightly as a secret cat in the still of night, and trample along as a heavy tom bouncing on his way to a hearty meal. thank you.

Answer 6

An absolutely perfect desrciption of a cat. At least one of my cats. the other is a disgrace to all cats, he thinks he's a dog.

Answer 7

It perfectly describes a cat.

Answer 8

Well how ever did love there cat, because that was cool and so true love it

Answer 9

This is a beautiful poem, glad you posted it!