I need help from all of you relationship experts out there...Girls especially!!!?

Question

My girlfriend and I had just broken up (for reasons that i will exclude so that i can get some unbias advice...and no, i didnt cheat). We have only been going out for over three months now and this is our first break up. Regardless of the reasons that we broke up, I can tell that she still has feelings for me. I want her back as well, but she is unwilling to take me back at the moment. She says that we might get back together, but no garuntees. I know that every serious relationship comes with a few break ups in between, and i know that i can get back together with her. I just dont know how i should go about it. My question is how should i proceed? what signals should i be sending her? what hints should i look for coming from her? what have past ex's done for you to get you back? what works and what doesnt? How can i get her to fall back in love with me? I think that she wants me back, but she just needs a little encouragement. So i need some tips from all of you relationship experts

Answer 1

I made my ex chase me for 7 years through 3 jobs and 3 states before I took him back.

It wasn't for 'cheating' either.

Good Luck!

ps: Once trust is broken the only thing that can heal it is time. 3 months doesn't seem too serious to me.

Answer 2

First off, I disagree with the statement that "every serious relationship comes with a few break-ups". If you look at the most successful and lasting relationships, you won't find these "break-ups". Break-ups are a bad sign, no matter what you're trying to tell yourself. That said - you can't make anyone fall "back" in love with you. After only three months, I'm willing to bet she was never "in love" with you to begin with. About the only thing you can do is have a talk with her (one time) and let her know that you are still interested in pursuing this relationship. Anything beyond that would be stalking - and you saying "I can tell she still has feelings for me" while stating in the same sentence that she doesn't want to have a relationship with you makes you sound like a stalker. Leave her alone, and get on with your life. It sucks to be rejected, but not everyone is compatible. There's someone out there for you, don't waste your time obsessing over the wrong person.

Answer 3

First, if you've broken up it means that you weren't able to resolve the issue that caused the break up. If you can't work through your problems, you'll never have a solid relationship.

Second, serious relationships are serious because they DON'T have breakups in between. The whole point of being seriously involved with them is showing that you love them through thick and thin. You accept that there are going to be challenges from time to time, and you work together to get through them. Breaking up only gives you a false sense of longing for the other one, and leaves problems unresolved.

Seriously? I'd leave her alone and take the time to really evaluate the relationship and where its' headed. If you're having these kinds of communication problems now (and that's exactly what this is...is a failure to communicate), it's not going to get any better over time.

Finally, you can't get someone to "fall in love with you." Why would you want to be involved with someone who is only there because you manipulated their feelings for you? What works is being true and honest with yourself about the situation. Lose your fear: if you don't get back together, life has a way of going on and bringing you new and better opportunities.

Either you're going to work it out like adults or not. It's pretty simple. Don't try and manipulate the situation or make more out of it than there is. Good luck!

Answer 4

OK first their isn't a magic trick or words that can get her to come back, but what can do is if you guys just take it slow and become friends; sometime that little break that happens in a relationship is just a sign of love and that maybe she is scared (you or her) and not all the times is a relationship break up is based off chatting of any kind, their are times were the person in the relationship just needs a break away from it all. So just be friends with no strings attached be there for her as will as allow her to be there for you and when it's meant to be it will be.
Good luck

Answer 5

well to begin with - yes there the rooad is bumpy in relationships but relationships based on love hardly break up or end just because and start again. It's not a game. Aorry but not giving us details to why the break up doens't help on what was wrong with the relationship. From your explanations here seems like she's the one that broke up with you. If she still has feelings for you then good but that doens't guarantee that you guys will get back together. She mights need time for herself now to figure out if she wants to invest any more time on you. Right now it seemed like 3 months next it will be 6 months then 1 year then 2 years etc. The time will fly when you least expect it you're with her for 5 years and it's tool late & harder to turn back at this point if there are things in the relationship that are causing you guys not to be together. I've been with my bf for 4 years and we first broke up in July 2006 and it was the hardest thing ever. We remained broken up till October 2006. IT was really hard but we had to. We were fighting so much it was rediculous. We got over all th at and decided that we loved each other so much that we could work through it. IN March 07 we broke up AGAIN because i got pregnant & he wasn't sure he wanted to be with me since we continued arguing alot so this time the break up was for 3 months. We just got back together a few weeks ago and things are SOOO much different and better. Thing is the longer we remain broken up the more him & i have realized what love we have for each other. If you really love her give her the space she needs but is she doens't love you enough to get back with you then let her go- you can't make anyone be with you. It will be the hardest thing but give it time. If she was once yours she'll come back & if not it means u weren't meant to be.

Answer 6

Ex's are ex's for a reason. No matter what that reason is, it's best to leave the situation completely. I know, she is what you want but don't let her lead you on!!! That's what it sounds like she's doing. She's keeping you in her "just in case" scenario until she finds someone better. Don't fall for this trap. Girls like to lead on guys...I know, i am one!!! Just cut off the relationship at friendship level and find someone who wants to be with you now, not later. Sure, there will still be some feelings but time will fade away most of those feelings. Don't take her back...The issue that you two had will most likely come up again and it'll just break up the relationship. I know, it's not what you want to hear but you need to hear it!!!

Answer 7

I don't really believe in getting back together with an ex. There is a reason you broke up in the first place, and I doubt it will change the next 4 times you break up.

AS heartbreaking as it may sound, you may want to find another lady.

Answer 8

Talk & doing things she likes. Romanic gesters. If she has a car, put a rose & a note on the windshield. Emails are not sensative & personal enough. As for what to say to make her open up, I dont know her. For me, is a little joking (in person). For others might be a mushy love letter or poem. Sending flowers to where she works or spends most of her time, or where alot of people can see she got alot of flowers. The old fashion way of being at her bedroom window (if you can). Dont stalk her, just gesters. Think outside the box. Make a list of EVERYTHING she likes. I'd suggest to make a list of the things what you think you did to make her break up. See if you can change them. If not, then..... well, you know.

Answer 9

Leave her alone. Drives women nuts when they think of their exes going out and having fun. IMO I don't break up and get back together again- I'm not a child anymore. It's time to grow up. Don't fall in the cycle of breaking up and getting back together it's not healthy. Just end it.
If she wants you back let her come back to you. If you continue to "try" she will sense your weakness and it will either make her push you away or she make try to get even and pay back is a b i t c h right?
Think careful and act second.
Good Luck

Answer 10

I am married so by no means am I a relationship expert (haha)

anyway, Have you tried talking to her, Being truthful and at the same time be romantic.. all at the same time. It can be done.

Go out "as Friends" for the day. Then at the right time, talk to her about how you feel and explain that you see her as still having feeling for you. Tell her how much she means to you.

You know woman go for the truthful romantic.