My husband only finds me sexy when i smoke a cig or wear panty hose. He gets excited from that but doesn't really do any thing to get me in the mood I told him we should try different things but he wont. he really isn't romantic and just expects me to get on top all the time and i told him how i feel and he just shrugs it off. I have worn see through things and such and no prevail. I am hopeless and lost and don't know what to do. How can i get him to be romantic with me? how do get him to do more with me instead of me being on top all of the time. I need to feel things not just get on top all the time. is it wrong for me to want to be romance once in a while? I am being crazy?He only touches my legs when i where the pantyhose and lately he barely does that. NOt to mention it is too hot to wear them now. Being nude dont do it for him. it not like i am over weight. I just don't know is it me? what do I do?
2007-06-18 11:24:59 · 30 answers · asked by sassylassy2876 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we've been married 8 years and he is almost 40 and i am almost 31
2007-06-18 11:50:36 · update #1
i even show him what i want him to do and still no provail and makes me feel undisrerd and I don't know why he just wont do any thing i want i have told him not every night but i wait like amonth and then tell him again. could he lost his sex drive i wonder. what is wrong with me? i ask him and i get nothing or no answer. he changes the subject.
2007-06-18 12:48:01 · update #2
NO disrespect or trying to be rude to you but I wish I could have a woman like you. You are not crazy and you are not doing anything wrong, but I've known men that are completely dry romantically you might have a lost case with your man. You are a woman who has feelings and wants to have reciprocated love in her relationship, thats not being crazy at all the problem is with your husband not with you. I personally cant come up with good advice that would not hurt your relatonship but I hope some one else in here can help you. Wish you the best.
2007-06-18 11:59:51 · answer #1 · answered by D S♦T♦A♦R♦S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are being deprived! He sounds lazy, unskilled and unimaginative. Are you sure he is not gay? You could try the different things you want (put on outfits, role play, set up the room, initiate at different times and areas of the house, watch soft porn on video/dvd, etc.)...and don't give him any sex until he agrees to try what you suggest or present. Get yourself sex toys and have fun. Talk with him openly about sex, preferences, etc...be specific! If he is not open or supportive, you might consider marriage and/or sex therapy, too. Come on! He's got to consider your needs, too! Marriage is a 2-way street. Get him off his lazy a** and back! Does he need to get in shape? Then walk, exercise or go to the gym together. Go on strike if you have to...don't cook, clean, do chores, etc., go out with your friends, don't be there when he gets home at night. Use whatever you have to negotiate...all's fair in love, etc. Or is he really indifferent and want you to look for romance elsewhere? There are plenty of men who'll be happy to give you that!
By the way, have you tried thigh highs instead of pantyhose? They are much cooler to wear in the heat...once I started wearing them, I never went back to pantyhose! Oh, and they look really sexy with lace elastic tops (which holds it to your thighs) and/or a dark seam down the back (which makes your legs look longer!) Wear what makes you comfortable and feel sexy, whether or not he notices!
2007-06-18 11:57:17 · answer #2 · answered by nightowl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's selfish, for not caring about what you need, too. Sounds like he has a bit of a fetish, too. Doesn't he realize that it's better for BOTH of you if you get satisfaction out of the deal, too? Here's a headline for you: "You Don't Have to Do It His Way All The Time!" You can refuse. You aren't his sex slave. Some men aren't naturally romantic -- flowers, words, etc. -- and that's ok, but to insist on only one form of sex is --yawn-- boring! Try getting a book of different positions or scenarios, and suggest trying some of them. And if this keeps up, counseling is definitely in order.
2007-06-18 11:36:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your not the problem here he is,you do not say how long you have been with each other.Or your ages..The fact that he like you on top all the time sounds like he wants to be dominated.One way to over come that would be to get books there are plenty out there.Try slipping one of these on the pillow.Keep your chin up you are not hopeless.Sounds like you are doing all you can.NO its not wrong for you to have a little romance its what keeps us all going,it releases the good hormones..Is he under any stress at work?Its important to get him too communicate.Take him out to dinner no distractions,just the two of you.A weekend away might also help.I wish you all the best keep your chin up
2007-06-18 11:42:16 · answer #4 · answered by ken 2008 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Play the game a little. Try not to show any interest. He will begin to feel that something is wrong with him and will eventually try to get your attention. Whatever you do, don't give in! Let it ride until he comes to you. Let him play out his feelings and when he comes around you can both throw your feelings out there and talk about what you both are missing out on. Nothing makes a man feel more insecure than when his woman doesn't show him any attention. If it continues and you still aren't feeling fulfilled than maybe you should start throwing ultimatums. Good Luck!!!
2007-06-18 11:36:21 · answer #5 · answered by !~!~Edward~!~! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a SERIOUS suggestion.
Have you considered a sex therapist? I understand the sessions can get pretty wild but I honestly don't see any other way to modify behavior. Be advised, you may have to alter your behavior also so if you are stuck in a rut and don't want to get out of it maybe you shouldn't bring up the therapist idea.
Most marriages that break up do so over money of sex. You and hubby need help and the sooner the better.
Good luck.
2007-06-18 11:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong in being a little kinky, but when that is ALL he is into, there is something wrong.
You can not do anything more than tell him how you feel and try new things yourself. If did the things you said I doubt he will change. He should be more considerate of you.
Cut him off and see if he changes. If he doesn't, he does not really care for you deep down or your feelings.
2007-06-18 11:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by Bob A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you tell him directly how you are feeling and he shrugs it off then he is being very selfish. Sounds like you have him a little spoiled and he is very comfortable with the way things are. Shake things up by not being on top. If he sees that he is not going to get any unless he changes his way, hopefully he will come around.
Good luck with it.
2007-06-18 11:33:54 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has an issue. The trashy gal thing (cigs and panyhose). There must be something more going on there with him (not you).
Whatever you do do not let him know they make those with a hole in em (in the right place) already you can by at some sex shop. lol
2007-06-18 11:33:27 · answer #9 · answered by giveu2tictacs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to give you some romance time. Tell him straight out how you feel. your guy is supposed to help you in bad situations. You need more love time than sex time. Control your boyfriend like you would with a child. Don't wear your panty's until he did what you wanted him to.
Go to super.
2007-06-18 11:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by ladiesman27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋