He wants me to make the appt. for tomorrow, even though I made it for after he gets off work today. I said that this just shows how we rate and he told me to make arrangements to egt him there and hung up on me. This is becoming the norm for his behavior as of late...we were always so happy and got along great, and anymore he is so selfish. Why would he do this and how do I handle it??
2007-06-18 10:55:56 · 15 answers · asked by Smilingcheek 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have 2 other kids, one who is sick. I made the appointment because he told me to. My son needs to be seen because he swallowed something on friday that has not yet passed and we were told to bring him back today for an xray. Thanks for all of the harshness out there- hope it makes you feel better to be mean.
2007-06-18 11:05:49 · update #1
Wise Guy... I am not cluelees what to do- try reading. I was asking how to handle my husband and what others think of it. I can take care of my son- it is my husbands strange and selfish behavior that has thrown me and I was hoping for some insight...obviously you have none so climb down off of your high horse and move on.
2007-06-18 11:30:21 · update #2
Why can't you take your 3 year old to the Doctor? That shows how your son rates in importance to you. Make sense? Neither does your reasoning. You conveniently forgot to mention, Do you work?
I wasn't being mean but just using your rationale to yourself. If one of your kids is sick wouldn't it be beneficial to take them to the doctor as well? If your question was to ask why he reacted like that it's likely he's frustrated. He has to work a full day, have a broken car, take his kids to their appointments, he doesn't think you are pulling your own weight and it's even worse when you bring how he rates his family into question. After all he works for the good of the family and that car is the venue to get to work. No car, no job, no money. He's looking at the big picture while you rage about one part of the equation. Lastly if working and responsibilities are "being selfish" then you should work on being selfish. After all how can you possibly empathize with his situation? Try working a 40 hour per week job and having to do all the family errands. Sound fair? Didn't think so.
2007-06-18 10:59:35 · answer #1 · answered by jay k 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say that you have to confront the behavior. You love him and he loves you, just remember that when he fustrates you like this, then take that deep breath.
Maybe he feels overwhelmed with something else, or maybe being a parent is wearing him down. Remember that it usually does come more naturally to women. Wait til the kids go to sleep and then have a talk with him. Don't accuse with the "you never" or "how could you do..."
Just use the method "when you" (refused to take jr. to the doc. app) "it made me feel" (like a single parent, used, hurt) "next time" (tell me in advance you don't want to, think about how I feel)
Just insert you own emotions. This way the focus is on your pain not his inadaquicies.
Then make sure that you tell him that you two are a team, it's not a contest. That you are there to make life easier on each other, not harder.
He shouldn't be hanging up on you! that is another thing that you need to address because it is very rude!
hope this helps!
2007-06-18 11:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by The thinker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry girl but what a bastard! Now you know what he cares about most. I wouldn't jumo into conclusions but have you considered that he might be having an affair and the reason being is because he feels neglected by you in some way. Guy's are still little boys inside. Maybe he feels like your child is taking up alot of mommy time and you're not iving him wife time. I don't know. Talk to him and try to work it out, if he's being selfish I woldn't know what to do just to let him know that he has a responsibility with you and his child.
2007-06-18 11:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by Hot Mom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well sounds like your husband has the case of the jealous blues.... Some times men feel that when wife's pay more attention to the child they throw a tissy.... And that is what he is doing... And if this behavior keeps up and your child is becoming neglected by your husband then you might want to seek counseling .. if that doesn't work.. well then you know. what comes next... As a MOTHER YOU MUST ALWAYS THINK OF YOUR CHILD FRIST!! Talk to your husband and tell him how your feeling and see how he reacts.. Write down a list of pros and cons... how he is father and husband. and you will find what you need to know... Good luck to you!
2007-06-18 11:04:29 · answer #4 · answered by squrrelgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's always the little things in life that rocks the marriage. If you can't work these little things out, neither of you are mature enough to be a couple. As marriage is not always about 50/50, it is always a give and take without one side tallying the who has done what.
2007-06-18 11:07:23 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just remember men and women's brains work differently. Something that is really important to you may be something that could be put off til the next day for him. Sounds like you guys aren't communicating.Women assume men know exactly what they're thinking and feeling, and trust me they haven't a clue. I would suggest seeing a family therapist
2007-06-18 11:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by TheDeeds 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... Mine is doing the best comparable element. i've got been assuming he became depressed or something, yet i think this is a danger besides. He has this new activity which will pay in keeping with value on my own, and he leaves whilst he wakes up and is derived domicile around 8 or later each and every evening. One evening he asked me to attend up, he'd be domicile around 11:30. At a million:45am, he's obtainable in, he'd had a lager and cigars with "the gang," which consists of females. i attempted to not make a huge deal, in spite of the shown fact that it became a huge deal to me. i'm domicile all day with our toddlers, cleansing up after all of them (which consists of him), and that i be attentive to artwork is substantial, yet I merely don't experience like we are anymore. I pray that that is merely melancholy (on your and mine), yet i don't think of it could be out of line to maintain a watch on the situation... in case you have the money, hire a PI to persist with at some point. If not, ask a relied on chum to drop by utilizing the bar he's going to or despite. If after a pair tries, you learn not something, assume you're incorrect and seem right into a thank you to help depressed family participants... Sorry to pay attention somebody else is coping with this (and on good of coping with maximum cancers, at that), yet once you prefer somebody to speak to or vent to, you could touch me each time! stable success, sweetie!! ?
2016-10-17 22:56:16 · answer #7 · answered by xerxes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Dr even pushed this off for couple days so it doesn't sound too serious.
Your husband has one opinion and you have another.
Neither opinion seems to be more important than the other.
Do you consider your husband selfish every time his opinion differs from yours?
2007-06-18 11:47:59 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As Tammy Wynette said "My D_I_V_O_R_C_E_ became final today and me and little J_O_E" are riding away in that clowns car with all the money, the house, and support and alimony checks. Let that poor sucker have his lil' tart that his behavior suggests he currently has. Car to shop or to his rendezvous for a little sex on the side with da sweetie. Kick him to the curb and take it all = everything = especially his precious car that is more important than his child.
2007-06-18 11:02:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When he gets in from work, do not even mention it. Act as if everything is perfectly ok. Leave it up to his conscience.
He can argue with you, but not his conscience.
Besides, if you complain, he'll just tell his friends that he was being nagged by the "old ball and chain"!
2007-06-18 11:05:05 · answer #10 · answered by LovablyMe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋