Need some opinions?

Question

I'm 25, he's 30. Been together one year, were friends for 3 years before that. We both live in California. He once said that if he couldn't make things work out here, he would contemplate moving back to Virginia, where he's from and that he would definatly want me to come with him. I talked the other day about my interest in maybe relocating for the sake of saving money, getting more for my dollar, etc...and his response was that he didn't think I'd be able to survive the cold and that he's lived in so many other climates but I haven't and I wouldn't make it. My question is, isn't he being a hypocrite here? If the decision to move was his, I would be expected to move but if it were mine, he doesn't seem as willing....Thoughts?

Just wanted to throw in we're not living together and we have discussed marriage. Of course, living here makes marriage hard because neither of us can "get ahead" which is what we want before we marry.

Answer 1

I understand his point, and yours, but ... I've heard two specific things that deal with this ... first, from the corporation where I work. They talk about how they can send anyone from any part of the country to any other part, except for people from California. People from California tend to only be happy in California, because everything a person could possibly want, beaches, mountains, snow, desert, multi-cultures (Los Angeles is the most diverse city on the face of the earth, barring none), jobs, etc. are all in California. Second, a neighbor of mine was accepted at an Ivy League school and given a full ride scholarship ... what could be wrong, right? The university told her they had horrible results with students from California because they just couldn't cope with living in the East. She laughed at that, took the scholarship, and was home and in counseling after one semester. True story.

Now, having sad that ... while what your bf said is true, you'd also better realize that if a person can't make it in business in California right now, they are in BIG trouble. The economy is booming, labor is cheap, growth is enormous. If he can't make it here, he won't make it in VA where things are nearly as good economically.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Woooaaa! ait he can move but u cant???! it should b a thing of 2 not 1! he should listen, do, have the same type of response as u!...relationships r a thing of 2 not 1...as i said...talk 2 him n let him know that hes being selfish, inmature and as u said it hypocrite!!!... i had the same problem with my BF we even have the same ages me 25 him 30 and hes my bestfriends bro, he was living in maryland i was living in the dominican republic (caribbean, hot everyday!!!) he told me he wanted me 2 go to live with him, i tought YEAH! y not!, i left all alone, without family or friends not even near the state, we spent 3 years in MD i got pregnant i told him i had 2 back to DR he went like no i dont think i can live there, i cant move i will not survive a day! (he spent most of his live in my country n he was complaining after what i did just 4 him) i let him know he was being selfish n selfcentered n that i would move without him, we talked n talked n woked things out...now we live in my country with our baby boy in a house of our own, a car, i have my own company, we r great!!! after all teh talking we worked things out...so TALK 2 HIM!!! LET HIM KNOW WHAT UR THINKING N FEELING!!!

Answer 3

Don't blow it out of proportion. I live in California and had gone to school in Michigan and Virginia as well. Virginia is ok (it has 4 seasons) and really not that cold but there are indeed certain climates that Californians would find very hard to adjust. In the northern states, their 4 seasons are August, Sept, October and Winter!! Not to mention the gloomy skies in those very very cold days. Californians have it good and you are underestimating the hardships and let your silly pride take over.

Answer 4

Sounds like he decided he was making things work out here and has ruled out moving back. It has less to do with you mentioning it but rather that he has already decided against it even prior to your suggestion. Let him know that while you aern't used to cold that doesn't mean you can't tolerate it. I live in California but I visited Alaska and lived to tell about it.

Splodge it's obvious to all of us that you don't think about anything. After all sweet avatar, a toaster with bread? All you need is some buns after all you've already got the a$$hole.

Answer 5

Not necessarily being a hypocrite but sounds more like he was just making the statement because he thought it was something you would like to hear. or maybe your relationship is in a different place than it was when he talked about you moving with him. it's definitely something you should talk to him about especially if it's a serious move you are considering making.

Answer 6

hes just being an elitist. just tell him he's being hypocritical and that its insulting you for him to say you can't handle cold weather. then tell him you're serious about moving (if you are) and that you want to be able to afford a nice place to live in a different location, rather than live in california and pay alot more.

Answer 7

get married if you're not. Then tell him you want to move again and you can handle the climate change.

Answer 8

Why would you even ask him to move - you are not married, right? Do what is best for you and believe me, living with someone is not what is best for you.

Answer 9

He sounds like he's changing his mind about the relationship

Answer 10

Sounds like he's trying to change your mind. Maybe he doesnt want you to come after all.