Why does general society think we all need to be married and or with kids to live a happy fulfilling life?

Question

People just DONT GET IT that I am perfectly content with my single life living alone in my new home with nobody to answer to except myself. These same people are usually the ones who are miserable STUCK inside a married with kids/ home/ cars they cant afford with no life savings to speak of with huge debt...... NO THANKS, I will stay single !

married w/children... your "legacy" isn't just passed on with your own children. and besides, your childrens children won't give two hoots about your life. You will be like you were never born eventually anymore.

Answer 1

People and societies are slow to accept change; welcome to the field of cultural anthropology. Aside from perpetuating the human race, marriage and children have historically served as an economic stablizer. Our modern society is more independently focused, enabling a single, child-free lifestyle to be just as economically prosperous (if not more so, in some cases) as a married, child-centered lifestyle.

Unfortunately over time marriage and kids began to be thought of as a means of providing fulfillment. This is a recent development. Google "the history of marriage"; there's plenty of articles that may help shed some light on this transition.

Since people spend so much time comparing themselves to others (and competing with each other), having a "good" marriage (and "good" being defined by very romanticized, patriarchal standards), beautiful, intelligent children, and the minivan in the driveway (complete with folddown DVD player) has become a status symbol. The funny thing is, the more educated you are, the less likely you are to attribute success and status with such outdated notions.

Bottom line: GO YOU! Social norms change slowly, but a change is happening, and you're part of it. I for one don't think an unmarried person is any better/worse off than married people - for the simple fact that every one (and every marriage, for that matter) is different.

If marriage was the cure-all for fulfillment and satisfaction, then antidepressants would be useless, strip clubs and hookers would be out of business, and housewives would stop competing with each other. Wishful thinking, I think.

Answer 2

There's two sides to that coin...what you don't get is that being married and raising kids can be the most fulfilling and satisfying thing you can do with your life. It depends on the individual. If you are not comfortable with prioritizing anything other than yourself, then living comfortably alone is probably the best you could hope for.
We all have the right to be selfish, but it's nothing to be proud of. When you die, what will people remember you for, other than your money? Think Ebenezer Scrooge.
Do you honestly think that you have nothing to offer a son or daughter? I bet you would be surprised...I know I was.
It takes a certain level of confidence to extend your world beyond the limits of your own short term interests, and there are some risks involved, but for most people, it's worth it. Ultimately, your relevance to the world around you is going to be based upon what you give, not what you get.

Answer 3

Living in the moment at 20 or 30, yes, it seems like a fun, glamorous, carefree lifestyle, but you probably also want to think about the future.

Frankly, I'd hate to be 40, 50, or 60 years old and have no family around to enjoy. At that age, friends will likely have disappeared with their own family life and activities. Also, if you leave this world without a family, what legacy will you leave behind, and what purpose will your life have obtained.

These are just my own personal thoughts on the matter, and I know that not everyone will agree with me. If you're certain that you can still obtain fulfillment and happiness in your later years, then I suspect that'll be fine. As for me, I want a few grandkids to love me and to have fun with when I'm old and gray.

BTW, there's no reason you have to live in debt to have a family. My wife and I have two children, a nice home with all of the necessities and comforts for us and our children, and we still manage to save hand over fist for retirement, and have less than a decade to go to be fully debt free. Being able to retire in my late 40s to early 50s while having kids and grandkids to visit doesn't sound too bad to me.

Answer 4

If you look at it from the evolutionary perspective, our entire purpose in life is to reproduce and send our genes into the future...society looks at people who don't or don't want to as "defective". It's just our instinct...you know?

Ok, now I don't think there is anything wrong with you not wanting to be married but I do think there is an inherent problem in thinking that people who are married (or at least the ones who want/encourage you to be married) are miserable and stuck.

Look, there are problems with being married and there are problems with being single. Single people can have homes and cars and debt they can't afford...

The thing is that there are also wonderful things about being married and wonderful things about being single.

The bottom line is that it is perfectly fine to stay single, in your case, if you are happy the way things are but not if you think that the alternative will make you miserable...

The same is true for getting married. It is great to get married if that will make you happy but not just because being single will make you miserable...

Answer 5

Because statistics have proven that married people ARE happier, more well adjusted, healthier, and actually live LONGER. Pretty good stat's I'd say. However if your content living alone with no one to remember you i.e. children, after your gone then I say "Have at it!" as for me I choose marriage, and children. With my choice comes the knowledge that I'm not in this alone, and that I have a legacy through my children and my children's children.

Answer 6

Well people have their own opinions.
If you ask me I wouldn't mind being single or married.
But it would be nice to be married because you'll know someone will always be there if they are the right one, even after your other loved ones have passed away.
But on the other hand being single is pretty nice too because you could do whatever you want whenever you want.

Answer 7

Whatever makes you happy, but geez...sounds like these "people" are getting you riled up? Did they hit a sore spot? If being single makes you happy, then stick with it. Who cares what others think. One day, you might want a partner in your life or just someone to hang with occassionally, and you might actually like it, but until then, do what makes you happy and don't let what's good for other's affect you.

Answer 8

pepole all dont think that , but it would be nice to share your life with someone but alot of pepole r not ready to settle down or b etied down for that matter , they want to be able to come and go as they pleaas e knowone woundering if there coming home tonight etc , thats ok , its your choice yes your friends and family may want u to settle down and have kids all familys want that but most of all they want u to be happy so if being single makes you happy then be single but if your gonna do the wild thing better put a jimmy on before you deside to shimmy or your days of being single may may never be the same

Answer 9

in my view, i might decide for to be married yet decide for to attend till i detect the the main suitable option guy first. no count if or not I even have little ones, i've got not particularly desperate yet. the two way, as long as I even have good friends and kin, which would be sufficient to make me satisfied. i'm additionally an extremely profession orientated man or woman and decide for to be triumphant interior the corporate worldwide. i think of what makes your existence relaxing is different for each man or woman.

Answer 10

Because marriage and children bonds people to the community and people with heavy bonds to the community are not a threat, hence people don't need marriage and children as much as society needs it to feel safe.