May I kick at some social values for a minute? (2)?

Question

I've posted this one in psycology too... sorry for the double post, but I would like some serious answers here.. preferably a lot of them....
Question Details: I would like to throw something into the group here... I know normal standards and ethics are fine in most situations. I just wonder if we have restricted loving eachother just a little too much. I am all for age restrictions for children, but why are there so many people who cheat? not the sleezbags cheaters I talk about, but the lovingly married people who just need or want more... it is absolutely undiscussable in our society... why do so many people feel the need to be the "absolute only one" ??? why is sharing love with others ruining lives? when love is such a good feeling? war is way more destructive I would argue and if we would only accept the fact that every now and again you see a person with whom you could share some heartfelt love... then why not??? I want some serious answers here please?

@just me: I do know the difference very very well... that is not what i mean here. I mean both emotional love and physical, anything at all that has to do with loving more than one single person. why would someone have to ruin a perfectly good relationship, jsut because more love is possible? structure of society I am talking about here...

Answer 1

It's completely possible to love more than one person while not interfering with your love for another. But, society has brainwashed most people into thinking otherwise.

Answer 2

You are equating love and sex. They're two different things. You cannot share sex if you are in a committed relationship or marriage. Now if you want to share sex, there must be some commitment there as well. For example, a threesome should be between the same 3 people always. At no time should two of the 3 get together without the third. That is against the rules. If feelings get involved, which I don't know why they would, but ish happens sometimes, then the trio either needs to end or the person who is catching the feelings needs to forget about it. In most marriages there has been plenty of love, just a lack of sex. That is why you shouldn't boff your brains out too often before you get married. The vows say for life, so you have that long to boff your brains out. How you love that?

Answer 3

Albeit the picture book version, as real love is hard to find and very rare indeed, lovingly married people generally share the same desire regarding the perameters of a relationship and will make a lifelong committment to be monogamous with each other. Real love stands the test of time and it does exist.
My own sister met her husband at the tender age of seven, they were married at 21, and have been together through thick and thin ever since. They are now in their mid-sixties... it is a beautiful thing to see the tenderness and understanding they share.

As for the common masses, prone to frailty, us silly humans sometimes become distracted, fall out of love, or get lured toward wanting this 'Something more' you allude to. But if the bond is strong enough, sometimes forgiveness can occur, the offending partner will be deeply remorseful and come to the realization that they have made a grievous error of judgement. They will choose to remain together, and a lesson has been learned.
Of course, in the instance that alcohol or drugs are present, even in real love judgement will be impaired repeatedly, and eventually the other partner will need to remove themselves from an emotionally destructive situation before a crime of passion occurs!

Another kind of tragedy occurs when people rush into marriage thinking they are in love, only to find out all too late, that it was mere infatuation. Two people who are married that want to repeatedly have relations with other people,are just ridiculous.
It is redundant for them to have entered into marriage in the first place. Unfortunately, we seem bound and determined to label lust, love.
Whether or not in the presence of religious belief, extramarrital sex makes a mockery of the whole premise of marriage, rending the union nothing more than a sham, bound for disaster.
If both partners cannot agree to exclusivity, then someone in the relationship is not in love and they are destined to "Break it off" at some point.
You seem confused about the fundamentals of true love and it's obvious to me, that you have not really experienced it, or you would not have to ask this question.The thing you are talking about is unfathomable to me personally, what planet did you say you are from?

Answer 4

it sounds to me like you might get some interesting insight into this question by googling the word "polyandry". It refers to the capacity and acceptance of loving more than one person. Our dominant culture discourages this, but for many, it is the only meaningful way for them to function and love.

Answer 5

To truly love another, and to have been made to believe that they love you, and then to discover that in fact they do not, but instead love someone else...

...that's heartbreaking.

This is why people capable of feeling true, desperate love are typically monogamous.

Answer 6

You need to distinguish love from lust.