Parents separating...What can I do?

Question

Hello, I'm 18 years old and have been witnessing my parents gradual seperation; it all began when my mother cheated on my dad 6 months ago. My father did get upset but later forgiven my mother but the relationship isn't recovering ever since. I can't possbily describe their current feelings for each other but it seems that my mom wants to move away and my dad wants her back. And of course, I want everything to return to normal.

(if this helps)
Mom is extrovert
Dad is introvert
I'm ISFP

What can I do to restore their relationship?

Answer 1

Sorry but this is not your problem to solve nor is it one you can solve. I went through this when I was eighteen and wondered the same thing. For a while I even blamed myself. Then I figured out that they were real people and not just my parents and they needed to handle this for themselves. All you can do is love each of them.

Your best option is to take care of your relationship with each of them. Even if you feel your mom is to blame, try to stay out of the middle. In the long run you will be better off if you can have both of them in your life, even if they are not together..

In the meantime, go out and try to figure out who you are going to be as an adult and try not to repeat their mistakes. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 2

Nothing YOU can do...it's between the two of them. That's the sad thing about seperation and divorce... the kids fall into the category where they blame themselves, but it has nothing to do with them, nor can they do anything.

Best thing you can do is love them both... and not blame yourself.

One thing you can do is maybe get the book "The proper feeding and caring of husbands" by Dr. Laura. (That is only if your mom will read it... and wants to make a change for the better in the marriage).

If one parents wants out and the other wants it to work, It won't work.... both need to WANT to make it work - other than that, it won't.

Answer 3

I know it is hard what you are facing, You are fortunate that you had them for 18 years as a set, you are powerless to change anything in the relationship. It appears that your Mom is the only one with that power since your Dad wants her to stay.

Answer 4

My sympathy on a hard situation. About all you can do is steer clear of their differences & try not to take sides. You don't know all the history between them, no one does. Maybe you could try smoothing things by thinking of some activities everyone likes, that don't require a lot of closeness. Playing cards?

Answer 5

I'm sorry to hear this...
Talk to both of them ,and advise them to attend to a marriage counselling. Just remember that most families in the USA have gone thru these difficulties. I know it's hard, but try to convince your parent to seek counselling.. they will know a lot of what's causing the marriage to fall apart, and save it while its in its early stage. And for you.. be strong, it will be hard emotionally , but don't let it affect or ruin your future. Focus on your goal in life to be a better person, we only have one life to live.. make the most out of it. Be strong...

Answer 6

You can't fix it. They are adults and will have to find their own way. Listen when they need to talk, but let them know that you won't take sides or be put in the middle because you love them both.

Don't forget to pray. Ask God for strength and wisdom for yourself and for both your parents. It will work out according to His will, and you cannot change that.

Answer 7

You cant so don't even try. Just love them and don't take sides. This is their problem. I know its hard watching them brake up and knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it.Just do your own thing and stay out of it. One day you will see. Girlfriend, or wife, sometimes relationships just end. Keep your chin up.

Answer 8

An undeserving dad or mum. One who beats a little one or we could their new husband or boyfriend beat the little one. A dad or mum who will purchase herself an costly clothier purse at the same time her youngsters put on moment hand cloths. A dad or mum who does no longer care approximately her youngsters schooling or wellbeing reminiscent of social existence and maintains her youngsters out of college and calls it homeschooling them at the same time she sits on her laptop all day and performs video games after which yells on the youngsters for no longer getting schoolwork performed (a little one has the proper to a correct schooling). A dad or mum who makes use of little one help cash for her possess delight reminiscent of a holiday fund for herself and her husband at the same time once more the children do with out. A dad or mum who's on a vegan nutrition and refuses to allow the youngsters have nutritious meat with no trouble considering she does not find it irresistible and the children appear faded always. A dad or mum who does not blank condo however makes the children do it at the same time she sits. A dad or mum who leaves younger youngsters at house to deal with a baby at the same time her and her husband move on a pleasure trip. A dad or mum who knowingly maintains her youngsters clear of the opposite dad or mum simply out of spite (youngsters are entitled to understand each moms and dads). A dad or mum who has adopted by way of with sucide makes an attempt (a minimum of two or extra) and has not ever had therapy for it, reminiscent of overdosing on drugs (she is a chance to herself and kids).These are a few matters which are neglecting a little one. I am definite you already know what bodily abuse is. Hitting a little one within the face, punching a little one, beating a little one with a belt considering she or he has ADHD and acts out and the dad or mum would possibly not use healing for the crisis. Burning a little one with a cigarette. I can move on and on however that is simply to mention a couple of.

Answer 9

It's often hard for the children to accept, but there is nothing that you can do to save your parents marriage.
You didn't cause the trouble they are in, & so therefore there's nothing you can do to fix it. Plus it's not your responsibility to try & fix their marriage.

Of course you want everything to return to normal, but it's up to them to do it, not you.

Sorry! :-(

Answer 10

well

realize that thier problems are not caused by you, be sure of that

then realize that it really is best when people have choices in life, as opposed to hating each other and being stuck together for life

these days , when people usually have choices, partners have to be nice to each other or one of em leaves

if they are happy , together or apart, then you are more likely to be happy too