I have realized with time that being cheated on is a terrible experience that deeply changes us and alters the way we view relationships and other ppl I would love to know (for those who have been cheated or and those who have cheated) how that experience was for you and what you did learn from it?
2007-06-18 08:41:39 · 19 answers · asked by ericktravel 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I learned that people are not what they seem a lot of the time.
I couldn't begin to write it all down here. But when one's world gets turned up side down, the world you thought was, turns out to be just a bunch of lies. Then you end up examining yourself to see if there is something wrong there. I have come to see that no the something wrong didn't belong to me. Definitely makes you take a new in depth look at self and life.
2007-06-18 08:50:01 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a terrible feeling when you first find out. Like the air has been sucked out of your lungs and you have been punched square in the stomach. You look at your wife and wonder how the heck she could do something like this. You begin to doubt yourself, feel that you are the true cause for her infidelity, that she is 100% correct for looking outside the marriage.
With time, you realize that you BOTH caused problems in the marriage. However, she was the one who was selfish, insecure, dishonest, and disrepectful for cheating with someone else. You realize the mistakes you made, learn from them, and know that you will be a better person in your next relationship.
2007-06-18 15:59:01 · answer #2 · answered by Scott O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with was loosing my marriage & family to a cheating spouse. However in the long run, I realized he was the fool & is really the one who lost. The married woman he cheated on me with is still married he was the one played for a fool & lost everything. It took a long time to realize this was all his choice and there was nothing I could do to change things. Recently I've started dating again & I'm realizing Life can be great for a single mother..............my motto Once a cheater always a cheater.......don't put up with it and move on.
2007-06-18 15:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by nosugamomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was cheated on my my husband of 3 yrs. We've been together for 7 yrs. Since we were 14. In my situation I was pretty understanding because we met so young and missed out on so much. No I am going through it. I haven't cheated on him yet but it has been sooooo tempting. I love him but there are days when I feel like I never got do any of the dating stuff. He has been understanding about it all as long as I'm honest with him about everything. Sometimes I think it has brought us closer. It just depends on the couple and your feelings.
2007-06-18 19:09:22 · answer #4 · answered by w061204 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was devastating...I went through all the normal what did I do wrong, whats wrong with me crap...and then realized that it was about him, not me...and then also learned that it was a way of life for him, had always done it and always will...it was his unhealthy need to be the center of attention and always have that edge of getting caught...
honestly, in the long run it has done more to me in my relationships than I would like to admit...It was over 2 years ago and I still find it so very difficult to trust any man...someday I will meet the right man who will be patient and understanding while I work through that whole issue, in the mean time, I am trying to deal with it on my own...and hold onto the knowledge that anyone can cheat on me, and if they choose to, I will survive, it may knock me down for awhile...but in the end, I will be alright!
2007-06-18 16:01:47 · answer #5 · answered by daisy31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never cheat on someone because I don't want it to happen to me but it has, a few times. It was all when I was in my early twenties...very niave! I have closed my heart completely but now I've met the love of my life and there are a few problems with me being open to him and affectionate. We have a daughter together and are engaged but I can not be affectionate at all! Thanks to him!
2007-06-18 15:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I'm a low life "cheater"
My wife was verbally abusive. Told me how bad I was in bed and out of bed. Couldn't satisfy her or any other woman.
Ten years of marriage and I decided to find out if she was correct.
What did I find? She was wrong!
I'm getting so much pus** I feel like a kennedy. As a matter of fact, I'm a male sl**. But you know what? I feel good about myself and I kick that "wife" to the curb after I sent her a video tape of me and three other skinny beautiful and younger women.
2007-06-18 15:48:57 · answer #7 · answered by Randy R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've caught so many in liesand with my friends, walked in on a few in the middle of their business... I'm past it now, and I think I took it out on myself. Most people do... feeling like it's your fault and your not good enough to be faithful to kind of thing. What does she have that I don't. It's very damaging to the heart and ego both, but now I can look back and know it wasn't me it was them. So time and maturity has definately helped. :)
2007-06-18 15:48:23 · answer #8 · answered by Dusty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I learned that I needed to love myself and that cheating was NO reflection on me--If any marriage counselor blames you for a spouse's cheating, get a new counselor. Looking to someone else to fill your need for self love is self-defeating and opens you up to be manipulated, used and heart-broken.
My ex cheated to manipulate me--and because he was sexually dysfunctional with me--he had issues. He tried to hurt me with it and convince me it was my fault. I NEVER believed that BTW.
My ex was also cheating because he felt that it was expected of him in his profession (investment banking) and I believe he was sleeping around to get promotions. The plan backfired and he lost his job.
In my new marriage I sought kindness, loyalty and honestly. With my first I was looking for status, money and security. Now I provide my own security and I realize that status and money are immature, materialistic and petty.
I'm happier now, healthier now and have better moral values.
2007-06-18 15:51:11 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being cheated on is a nightmare all in itself!! Hurts worse if you find out about it from the person your partner cheated with!! (been there) It takes away all of your ability to trust in your partner. Needless to say he has been calling me for months asking "for just one more chance......" The man I have now is great!!! I've told my ex that and he's quit calling now.....I've moved on!! Once a cheater....ALWAYS a cheater!!!!
2007-06-18 15:48:41 · answer #10 · answered by Nicki B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋