please help!!!?

Question

im 29, married and with 3 children. the relationship with my husband is allright. i wish a few things were different, like his attitude towards things, being more gentle, i knowwhe loves me,but he is a builder, very strong an when he touches me it feels like a slap, that i am avoiding him. he doesnt talk much, cos he says he is not as eucated as me. i love him, but there is not that much of a passion. sex is good, but i think cos we know each other well. so i have learned to accept this, as the rest of our lives is allright. the thing is a i met a man, who the more i know the more i like. he alreay told me he likes me and wants to go out with me. i dont know what to do. in one side i will love to know him better and see what happens, on other side i m married so i shouldnt meet up with him. also i think that if i have this feelings towards this man, maybe it means i dont love my husban as before. what would you do? please need help and advice. thank you

Answer 1

You have obviously got cracks in your marriage and its best to do something now than to delay the inevitable especially if your children are young. Your 29 and need to imagine yourself with your husband 10 years down the line. If you cant picture this then move out for the childrens sake and try to build a new life while you are still young. Good luck.

Answer 2

only you know the answers honey unfortunately. If i were you i would be totally honest with your husband and say that you feel your relationship has become routine and is nothing special right now, find out if he feels the same and then discuss either how you can make it better and more exciting together and bring back that sparkle or discuss going seperate ways, moving on and finding happiness elsewhere. Once you've done this, then you will have the answer on whether you can see the new guy or not. But dont go near him until you know where you stand with your husband as an affair will always be a bad thing and will turn out very painful and difficult. Best of luck and be strong x

Answer 3

The feelings toward this guy could simply be your frustration with your own situation. You dont want to hook up with this guy for a couple of reasons-He probably is giving you a line- and he probably is just trying to grab a piece. Aslo if a guy wants to go out with a married woman he is already saying he has no problem with you becoming a home wrecker-and a cheat....Any guy that will put a woman in that position is not that much of a man.

Sort out what you can with your husband-write down what you want to say-have him sit and tell him how you feel. THis gets all the cards on the table..and go from there

Answer 4

My dear friend, you are heading for a fall. The fact that you are looking for greener pastures is stupid. No-one has the right to come between you and your man. Can you imagine what he is going to do to this person you THINK is going to bring you happiness. Where is your mind?

Did you marry for better or for worse? I think you lack respect for your man and the bible clearly indicates that a wife must see to it that she respects her husband and a husband must love his wife! (Ephesians 5) If the wife shows no repect, her husband withdraws and stands back refusing to show her love and if a man does not make an effort to tell his wife that he loves her she is going to think he doesnt and begin behaving disrespetfully towards him and inevitably a crazy cycle begins which left untouched will eventually spin out of sight. You are clearly on a downward spiral and my advise is to slow down that crazy cyce by beginning to respect your husband again and you have to - its biblical! Looking for greener pastures wont help your situation- all you are doing is dragging all your trash along with you into the next relationship and how do you think all this will affect your children. Stop look and listen to good advise. CHase the other fellow away and never look back. HE IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU. You have to face reality. How do you think you would feel if your husband was quietly seeking the affection of another woman? It would slay you. SO how do you think he is going to feel when he finds out you are disloyal towards him? Wake up and grow up. Its not all about you..Its about you and 4 other people!

Answer 5

Sweetie, he does not know that he is so strong and does not purposely do it to hurt you.
My hubby lifts and digs all day long and he is 38 and very strong and limber ...and his hands are rough and dirty. But you see I ask him nicely to not be so forceful, and then if he does not understand I show him how to touch so that it does not hurt.
Maybe you should show him how to be tender? He will learn to be gentle if you help him.
AS far as going out with someone else...WHY? You have a good man at home, yes maybe his attitude is off, but men always will have a different opinion than us! My husband is quiet unless he has something important to say, or growls at our son for being naughty.
Passion? Passion comes and goes in our lives and we have to think about love. DO you love him and the home he has built with you? That should be more important than anything, the love you should hold for him in your heart.
Please do not make a mistake and taste the vile bile of regret for the rest of your life, it could cost you everything...
Respect for yourself, the respect of your husband and the love of a great man.

Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 6

Often people turn to someone outside the relationship because they do not want to deal with the effort and time of fixing the problems in their current relationship. So, before you turn to another man and do something you can't take back, you owe it to yourself, to your husband and to your children to try to find out what is wrong and attempt to fix it. Marriage requires work and talking and caring for each other. Maybe he just doesn't know his own strength, find ways to express your feelings about the relationship without making it seem like he makes you unhappy. Don't accuse him or blame him and make sure you make it clear you want the same type of information from him. Communication goes both ways and only when both of you are invested in working on the relationship can you get things back on track.

Answer 7

You could ask my wife, she went through this a few years ago and decided to go out with him and a few others. The kids found out and that didn't work out well. She let her parents know and that didn't help either. We are still married but she regrets the whole thing and is much more unhappy about it than she ever was about us. Oh yea the guy will dump you just as soon as he sleeps with you and finds outyou are serious because he isn't. Sorry a lot of pain there but I am trying to minimize yours.

Answer 8

Sounds like you need help with your marriage before the rot gets too bad.
This other guy is bad news! Stay away from him. He's trying to cheat on your husband now. If he succeeds in taking you from him, he'll cheat on you as well.
He has no respect for you. If he did, he'd respect the decisions you've already made.
The best thing for him would be a shotgun in the groin, but I think it's against the law over here. So break all contact with him immediately before he does any more damage.

Answer 9

I think you know what you want. I think, too, you want to be given permission to do something you know in your heart to be the wrong thing for you, so you won't feel you hold all the guilt and responsibility. It's easier to do what pleases us temporarily. But we hate ourselves later.

You need to get together with your husband and hve a long talk. Maybe a marriage councilor wouldn't be a bad idea either. Don't give up on a marriage before you've done all in your power to make it better. You CAN have romance and gentleness and comfort with your husband again. You have to make the effort to get there, though.

Answer 10

Forget this man, he wants a married woman because he will not need to make a real commitment, it's that same reason that woman go for married men. You should remember the vows you took, and stay true to them. Why would you even entertain this? You would be hurting your husband and your 3 children.They have not done anything to deserve that.