What do you think about black men dating white women?

Question

I'm white (Russian) and my boyfriend is black (Nigerian) and many people seem to have a problem with seeing the 2 of us together. Some of my family members are reluctant to accept our relationship, warning me about having to deal with social pressure (unfortunately they don't seem to understand that for me they are the main source of that pressure) and bringing it up as a con. I have no clue what they are talking about because a) I've never dated anyone who isn't Russian and b) all i see in this guy is his intelligence, character, and a bunch of other stuff that makes me fall for him. So what's the problem? What rule are we breaking? My family doesn't hate him or anything like that and will accept him once they see that he makes me happy, but they would rather see me with a Russian because they think it would be better and easier for me.

And any tips on how to deal with the negativity coming from my family and society in general? Any personal experiences you'd like to share?

btw,
I'm in my early 20s and he is in his late 20s. We are not just f-ing around and i don't feel like a trophy. Neither does he, I hope. Both of us are just happy and surprised to have found each other, so believe me, i'm not considering leaving him because of the outside pressure, i don't care if people stare or if they are rude. If that's the only problem I'm gonna have in a relationship, then I will be the happiest woman on the planet. I'm more conserned about my closer social circles and wondering if there could be some other "real" problems people keep talking about. So far my only answer to their comments has been "so?". I genuinely don't get where the problem is. The only thing that hurts a bit is the knowledge that some of the people who are close to me may never fully accept my man. Although, who knows, maybe I'm selling them short? I was just wondering what I can do to make it a little easier for both of us.

Answer 1

I'm getting married on Friday to the love of my life and the father of my child. He is Vietnamese/German and I am Black.

We never cared what other people thought. But, our families were very supportive so I can't relate to what you're going through reallyas far as your family is concerned.

My advice to you is to not be consumed by fear. Fear is a disease. It festers and before you know it, you'll be living a miserable existence.

Live and love. You deserve to be happy and it's no ones business as long as you're happy.

People will try to throw a wrench in a good thing out of envy sometimes. Sometimes even the ones closest to you are the ones that can't stand you being happy.

Don't worry about what others think or the stares that may follow you. Be confident and assert authority and no one will bother you.

People kill me sticking their noses in other people's business when their own homes need upkeep. And if race had anything to do with anything, then ever relationship that was comprised of the same race would be a perfect one. We all know this is not true. So, it's a lot more than race than keeps a loving relationship in tact.

Kudos for not being a follower and being headstrong and keep your head up and be confident.

Good luck.

Answer 2

the second answer you got was really good, and so were all the others between it and me. Not very realistic and practical, though. You are seemingly in a hostile environment for your relationship.

there is a "trophy" thing, however...Jed was right.

I am not opposed to any of this, but you need to live somewhere---a fairly enlightened city---where you will fit in, or it will be a struggle.

am going to work now, 12-hour shift, but e-me if you like. I have been around this kind of stuff a lot. tell me how old you are, what kind of place you live---city---small town---what your educational level is (I am not collecting info---don't want your name or address or birthday) and a little more, and I'll put some thought and time into a reply when I get home, ok? Good luck---Brian

Answer 3

If you love each other, your love will supercede the ridicule from others who lack love in their hearts. This is up to your man and you; if your relationship is strong then you two don't let it break you apart.

Red them Acts 10: 34 - 35 This is a scripture showing God is not partial and any person who is righteous is acceptable to him. This may cause them to think if they really are godly people or just claiming they are.

Answer 4

If you are both adults, that means that you are old enough to make your own decisions! Congratulations....

If anyone questions your relationship, you can play nieve and with a tilt of the head respond, "What do you mean"?
If they point out the obvious differences, just smile and ask if disturbs them? They will never admit it, but you can show that you love each other enough that you never gave it a thought about how you differ, but rather how you are so compatible with one another!

I wish you the very best in this relationship! God bless you both.

Answer 5

Sorry you are having trouble with this. I think there is no problem with your relationship. I mean, what else are two people in love supposed to do? Not see each other because of other people's racism problems? If you love this man, keep seeing him!! Who cares what other people say! If you break up with him because of them, you will probably always wonder what might have been. And you will probably hate your family for breaking you 2 up.

REMEMBER: "What is popular is not always right, and what is right is not always popular".

Answer 6

lol this story is soo funny, not the fact that your finding this a little hard just that im black(18 years old) and my boyfriend is Russian(19 years old) and when i introduced him to my family, no one disliked him or anything like that but my grandma is a southerner, born and raised in Tennessee and im sooo liberal, i date who ever i want and i DONT care what others think like you and i really admire how you also feel like "im not going to leave him because other people are having an issue with this, because i really want to be with him" and idk thats all it is. As long as your both happy and even thought they are your family they will always vision you marrying a guy whos your race,or close to it and what the grandkids will maybe look like, and i think that when we mix up the cultures and what not its harder for them to see how its going to be. I know that my grandma likes him and she would prefer me to be with a black man, but the biggest thing is that They will be happy and accepting of our relationships as long we are happy with every thing. GOOD luck with your relationship i hope everything goes well!! if you do ever need to talk please e-mail me!! [e-mail]

Answer 7

I think in 2007 it's not as bad as it used to be. I wouldn't be so concerned with what other people think and just live your own life. No matter what you do, people are going to hate you for so many reasons throughout your life so don't focus on that. People in general are cruel and judgmental so just do what makes you happy.

Answer 8

There's nothing wrong with it.
From what I have seen though, too many times (at least around here) the white woman is viewed as a trophy. I have heard them talking about it more than once. I just hope your boyfriend is sincere.

Answer 9

I think it is wonderful,my aunt was with a black in the 1950 !s she always it was great . i even think of watching my wife over over 30 years making it with black men.

Answer 10

ITS JUST THE SAME AS A WHITE WOMAN SEEING A WHITE MAN !! WHO CARES WE ALL BLEED AND DIE THE SAME WAY SO IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE WHAT COLOUR YOU ARE !! ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS A NUMBTY !!