my gf says says she needs space after 4yrs together she says shes not happy not just with me but everything life,work,herself we talk a little and says shes lost and confused. i told her if shes not happy about anything in life that the problem is bigger than both of us maybe depression. when we first seperated she'd have nothing to do with me now we talk a little. now she says we can work on being friends first i love her more than anyone ive ever had in my life. the problems she has with me are things i can fix and honestly want to. i use to smoke weed everyday...now i dont touch it i would like to be better off financially too so i have to stop. i love her and do not want to lose her shes evrything to me im hurting over this so please help me should i be there for her or just let go?
2007-06-18 07:09:24 · 13 answers · asked by legs2556 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should be there for her. I have gone throught the exact thing that your gf is going through. I know it hurts but stay with her. She loves you and needs your support. 4 years isnt something that you just throw away. Congrats on keeping her for so long! Hang on for a while. She'll come back. Hang on for her.
2007-06-18 07:14:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The ship may have already sailed. I am really sorry, but you may be changing your life too late. Have a talk with her and ask her to be totally honest with you. If she can't be honest when talking to you, tell her to write you a letter that is brutally honest.
If it is over, take a little time to grieve the loss of the relationship. But realize that there is life on the other side of "divorce." A book that helped me in the past was "Permanent Partners." You might be able to pick up a copy at the library.
Good luck! :)
2007-06-18 07:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by searching_please 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you are on the right track already. The time apart may have done some good at shaking things up, but in a good way. Now that you are talking and she says you can work on being friends kind of makes me think you didn't start your relationship as friends the first time around.
Be patient and work on what you think needs working on and show her that you are willing to do what it takes to make it work out. If it's meant to, it will happen.
2007-06-18 07:15:43 · answer #3 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you love her more than anything...then give her what she wants. You can't help or fix what is wrong.
The old saying is "If you love something, let it go and if it comes back, it's yours for a lifetime. If it doesn't then it never was".
I know it's difficult and makes no sense, but if she says she wants space and time away...she probably means it. She doesn't know how to deal with you. Even if what you offer is good and loving...she still can't figure out how to put that in her life.
2007-06-18 07:20:54 · answer #4 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let her go and give her some time to figure it out on her own. If you continue to pressure her she will not have enough time to think things out for herself. Just let her know that you are giving her the space she needs and that you will be there for her if she wants to come back. But don't let it get you down, sometimes we think we have found the one but we really haven't. Go out and have fun and maybe you will truly find someone who doesn't need any "space" from you.
2007-06-18 07:17:18 · answer #5 · answered by Jackie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's over - she's just not feeling it anymore. Let it drop and be cool about it. It may one day blossom again, but don't beat it into the ground now. Do something wonderful and fab and exiting and she'll remember why she was first attracted to you and may find that spark again to pull her out of her depression. You have to be the alpha in this role, but play it cool.
2007-06-18 07:18:07 · answer #6 · answered by beinggood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both need a little growing room.
By being a stronger person you can give her the support she may need. I would work on bettering yourself right now and hope for the best.
2007-06-18 07:48:00 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh get a hold of yourself dude ! Just let go shes just trying to be polite in dumping you . Dont waste your time on her . There are lots of great women out there to love you .
2007-06-18 07:25:42 · answer #8 · answered by wishingstar5555 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is selfish. She knows you want to be more than friends and is keeping you around just in case. Let her go and move on. And smoke a doober, you'll feel better.
2007-06-18 07:12:58 · answer #9 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone says they need space, its usually a cop out for wanting to date other people.
2007-06-18 07:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋