Why do people discourage people with disabilities from dating?

Answer 1

There are various reasons why people discourage disabled people from dating. Some people, like parents, are afraid their adult child will be taken advantage of, or that they will fall in love and end up hurt by someone who is uncaring and just using them. To an extent, it is understandable that a parent would worry about their child. However, this can get out of hand if they refuse to see that their disabled child is fully independent, able to work, live alone, etc. In this case, the person who is disabled is fully capable of going through the same ups and downs romantically as fully able-bodied people can, and the parents are refusing to let go of that child.

Other people discourage people with disabilities from dating for much worse reasons. They don't want to see the disabled person to reproduce, assuming, incorrectly in most cases, that their children will be born with disabilities. They have a negative opinion about people with disabilities, don't want to see them because they feel "uncomfortable" around them. I was on a bus once, before I became disabled, and heard a guy talking to his gf while we waited for someone using a wheelchair to get on the bus. He told her all "cripples" should be thrown in a pit of fire and killed, that they were all useless to society. He said this really loud, and so many people were really furious at him and told him off. He didn't care though; he was an evil person. Unfortunately, there are a lot of evil people out there.

When I worked with autistic children and took them to the park, you wouldn't believe how many people told us to take the children away and keep them indoors where "normal" people didn't have to see them. If we had high-functioning teens who were dating and holding hands, people would tell us not to allow it, that they will just make more "crippled" children.

So many people are afraid of what they don't know. They see people with disabilities and don't know how to act around them, especially around people with mental disabilities. And if they have a healthy child who is dating a disabled person, they freak out. They just can't see someone who has a disability as normal. They can't imagine someone in a wheelchair going out to party or on a date. It's as if disabled people are a different species and shouldn't mix with them.

Well, we finally have the law on our side - some progress is being made. The Americans with Disabilities Act was passed, so now restaurants or clubs can't prevent a dating couple from coming in, even if one or both of the couple are disabled

More people are becoming open-minded. But progress is always slow, and there will always be ignorant people who are afraid of what they don't know or are plain mean. But thanks to the ADA, people with disabilities don't have to hide anymore - we people should all have the same rights.

Answer 2

I feel that people discourage people with disabilities from dating because they dont want them to get hurt. So many normal people see disabled person as being mental disabled. I am not disabled and have dated a disabled man. He was in a wheelchair due to nerve damage from the waist down. I found out that he was just as much a man as any one else. But before this I always treated disabled as mental disabled rather that was the case or not. I have now found out different and try to give every one a chance. I have found that even if there is a mental disability They can still be great people and they have the right to love. I encourage all them to fall in love and find happiness. But basicaly as non disability people see people with disabilities as not being able to handle the emotion of fnding love and loosing it. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

because they see the disability and not the person a disabled person can pretty much do anything anyone else can it depends on the disability of course but i don't see why disabled people should be discouraged to date. i have a very close personal friend, 2 in fact they're a couple and they got married last year they're both disabled... i was their bridesmaid. i live in the UK and discrimination is really bad here but it's slowly getting better

Answer 4

People discourage the disabled from dating because they feel like that we, the disabled, are damaged goods. They think that the disabled is not mentality capable of showing love and affection. Many also feel like that disabled got the "Cooties" and they are afraid that they might catch something. Which is nothing but bullsh*t here and we all know that the world is full of ignorant people.

Answer 5

It depends what disability the person has.
Sometimes when people are in love they only see the good side rather then the faults. There is another thing of over protective to which is not good.
I met a friend of a friend who has an intellectual disability and is happily married to another person with the same problem.
I also know two vision impaired people who are married and have children.
And there are many more people with disability that are married to some either with or without a disability.

Answer 6

I think a lot has to do with the type of disability the person has: I have a disability but I hope people don't judge me by my appearance. I just thank God I got a second chance at life.

Answer 7

Most of the time it is well intentioned but way off base. People that care about us may discourage us because they fear we may be rejected when asking somone out and get hurt. We may go on a date and get ditched or it just not work out and get hurt. In general I think it is jut them not wanting to see us hurt. At least that's what my mom always told me. "I just don't want to see you hurt or dissapointed." What she forgot and I think many that say such things is that not everybody is so hung up on people with disabilities. Contrary to what my ma always thought, we can date able bodied and minded people just as well as people like us. Furthermore pain is a part of life, it lets us appreciate that warm feeling of love so much more when we do find it and it's reciprocal, because lets face it- everyone gets rejected or has a bad date sooner or later. Granted there are always going to be some idiots that think our need for love, intamacy, and companionship went out the window with whatever affliction we may have, but thankfully that is a very slim minority. anytime someone tried to discourage me I would smile, thank them for their concern, and keep putting myself out there until I found someone. I think people tend to forget that just because our bodies may be different or minds process things differently, doesn't mean we can't charm the socks of someone and be a loving partner. They see what they perceive as deficiencies and assume we just can't be as "normal" in this aspect of life as anyone else. If you want someone to stop discouraging you, just be vocal and educate them, then go off on a great date!

Answer 8

I think there are many "reasons", the sad truth and the first that comes to mind is that there are people who prey on the disabled and vulnerable in our society. This is a huge hazard for women as many many disabled women are exploited and abused in relationships.

A lot of people see a disabled person and they automatically think "huge law suit settlement". When I became disabled almost every person I knew assumed I had received "100's of 1000's of dollars" from Workers Compensation, or an insurance policy - and of course even more from a law suit.

The sad truth is that most disabled people live in povery and those who professed to "love" you can become very very angry and abusive when they find this out and when faced with the reality of your disability. Been there, done that.

The latest man I made the mistake of becoming involved with assumed I had the money and would pay for him to go flying everyday at about $150 a pop because I would be so grateful to have a man in my life - ROFLMAO yah right.

He became very very nasty and abusive when he found out it wasnt happening. Human Slime.

Falling in love with a disabled person is the relatively easy part, its living day to day with their limitations that creates problems.

I've seen disabled guys and think " whoa hottie!" So there is no reason WHY other women wouldnt think the same -

People who care about you dont want you to be hurt. There is a misconception that no one would actually love or be sincere about loving a disabled person, because of the reality. Like the competition is so great out there how can we compete?

You would not believe the losers my friends and my daughter have tried to fix me up with ! I wouldnt let them walk my dog never mind be interested in them. Being disabled does NOT mean I am desperate and willing to "settle" for whatever crawled out from under a rock --

Many many people see the disabled as "asexual" and this is most often the case when it comes to your family and friends. Somehow being disabled means you have lost your sexual identity, interest, your femininity or masculinity, and we become perceived as "child like" and "asexual" beings.

I have no idea why that is - you gotta admit its weird.

Do disabled people form solid loving relationships? Of course they do, but the statistics definitely favour the males when it comes to potential for doing so -

Sadly most males in our society are not going to fall in love with a disabled female they have to support and take care of. Sorry ladies -

Not to say they might not be up for a "fling" just to see what its like to be with a disabled female - its very sad.

If you feel confident that a woman you have met is interested in you or that you do ok "out there" go for it, enjoy what life offers you - dont listen to the "nay sayers". We are disabled not dead and we deserve love too.

Answer 9

I think if a person has a mental disability they should have an advocate when dating.

Answer 10

i've never dealt with that, but probably because they don't want (either themselves or others) to have to care for the disabled person.