I need help guys! My wife's performance sucks big time! I want out! But I don't know how to do this. This is my first marriage. I am very super scared of the divorce thing and especially LONEINESS. I hate loneliness, because i get very depressed,being alone. I really depend on a WOMAN for my happiness and also at a emotional level. I would like to be very very HAPPY with a new wife, new girlfriend or something, but I am not sure if this is possible. Is there a 2nd chance in life with a new lady and a new happiness. I am so scared that no other woman will ever like me for who I am....
2007-06-18 06:28:20 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Number 1, you should not base your happiness entirely on your wife. You need to be happy with yourself and then find someone who will complement you.
Number 2, I am going through an unwanted divorce after finding out my wife was cheating. I am a wonderful man, husband, friend, lover, and father. I know that there is another woman out there somewhere who will love me more than my first wife did. Just stay positive and keep looking.
2007-06-18 06:35:57 · answer #1 · answered by Scott O 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first off - yes there is a 2nd chance for you - ok -
it may take time,but you can find someone that will love and appreciate you for who you are -
You dont need a woman to be happy - I use to think I needed a guy to be happy - then I discovered there were underlying issues to my depression and I was able to deal with them...
If your misserable and unhappy - get out of it !!
its easy - just pack your stuff and say look its over - i'm leaving - this is why !
be up front, honest and to the point....
on the other hand if your not sure its over and your just having issues within the marrage - then how about some counceling ? both partners have to be willing to do it,,but its been proven to help....
you said her performance sucks - you didnt say if it was as a wife in general or in bed.....
if by chance its in bed - you could teach her some things to turn you on - although I would think after 15 years she would know - maybe shes misserable too.....
just remember you only need yourself - when it comes down to the bottom line you only have yourself to rely on...
women dont make you happy and keep you from being depressed - only you do that.
join a chruch and get involved in some of the activities - join a singles group - join a mens group
good luck and god bless you on you journey
2007-06-18 13:41:37 · answer #2 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did a bad job with the first one and you think a new one will be better? The problem is you, not the women in your life. No one but no one is responsible for your happiness but you. I would start by trying to be the husband you promised to be when you married 15years ago. What you are saying here is that you want to get rid of her because of her sexual performance. Have you ever considered its your sexual performance that is lousy? Might want to think about that.
However, letting her go free to find a real man might be a really generous thing to do.
2007-06-18 13:34:05 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry you're miserable,that's not fair for anyone.but have you shared your feelings with her, maybe there is something you can both do together to have a happy mairrage.please don't just give up b/c you think things will be greener on the other side.they aren't always. when you say "performance, do you mean in general or in bed? they can both be fixed if you're willing to work on it.it truelly makes my heart hurt to know that someone is unhappy in their mairrage.it is meant to be a happy union, but not always perfect, it will be ups and downs, try to think of why you married in the first place, i know people change, and alot over 15 years, but just get back to the place where you 2 were in love. in a weird way i need this too. i need to know that a mairrage can last, i need the hope. if you absolutley can't fix it, i hope you 2 can still be friends especially if there are any kids involved, again i am very sorry for your hurt feelings.
2007-06-18 13:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
performance? That sounds like a fantasy bedroom problem. I hope that isn't what you meant.
Are you sure that you've been unhappy for 15 years? I wonder if you are exaggerating that now that you are considering cutting loose...
Be honest to yourself. This question reeks of throwing away 15 years for the thought of someone new, but remember that nothing new stays new.
Are you perhaps needing a discussion at home on not taking eachother for granted and non-complaisancy?
"scared that no other woman will ever like me for who I am..."
So take a good look at yourself. Who are you?
2007-06-18 13:38:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not about you, it's about her. Unless you can love another as much as you love yourself, you are better off to never marry and only have shallow relationships. This might help you appreciate what you have.
Maybe your wife's performance sucks because she got tired of you just taking care of your own needs for the last 14 years and 11 months. When you make it good for her, she might make it good for you.
2007-06-18 13:36:41 · answer #6 · answered by Bill G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your use of the term " My Wife's Perfomance" says it all.
Your putting too much emphasis on that part of your relationship, marriage is a 50/50 committment.
What do you do to make your wife happy, have you tried thinking of her instead of yourself? Maybe that's the problem.
You sound like your a me, me person instead of a we,we person.
As long as you expect woman to cater to your needs you won't find one that makes you happy, woman are equal to men and deserve as much happyness as men do.
So until you can learn not to be so selfish and share your life with someone you won't find happyness in any relationship.
2007-06-18 13:55:11 · answer #7 · answered by unknown friend 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you're not exactly a man's man.
You sound more like a whining Momma's Boy.
Perhaps there is SOME woman out there who would like to be married to a man like you. A woman who would like to take the role of Boss and Wearing the pants.
Sorry, but you truly do strike me as someone who is pathetic.
2007-06-18 18:47:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I thought based on all the wives that answer on these boards that the sex was just NON-STOP and spicy 24/7!
Thats the way the MARRIED women here portay it.....
2007-06-18 13:43:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And just who are you? A selfish, insecure, depressed man, who stays in a relationship out of fear the HE will not find anyone else. NO, it's not possible. Someone as needy and selfish as you has nothing good coming to them.
2007-06-18 13:33:36 · answer #10 · answered by ron-D 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋