How hard are the first couple months of a new baby?

Question

I am considering going back to grad school and my wife will have the baby towards the end of the first semester. I will then have 2 months off before going back. I would like to know the demands/Needs of a Woman and the demands and needs of a baby. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Answer 1

I guess it depends on many factors
But you should consider having some extra help, like from some of the grandmothers. Preferably her mom... its easy if your own mom is helping around.
Regardles, you'll be sleep deprived for the first 1 or 2 months. How deprived depends on the baby and how lucky you are. We were very lucky, we had a quiet baby (at least when a newborn) but still, he must eat every 3 to 4 hours at night.
Your wife might get more tired than you, she is going to go thru hormonal changes, so she is going to need you to be there for her. Even if you wont be the one feeding the baby at 2 AM is nice to see that your husbands supports you emotionally.
My husband used to kinda open his eyes and asked "do you need anything??" and then went back to sleep. Of course I said "no, Im fine"
I knew he was half sleep but I knew he was trying to 'be there' and that was nice.

Answer 2

Probably the most important thing is the sleep schedule. Your wife needs to be able to sleep when the baby does and she will also need help the first couple of weeks if she has to have an special procedure during the delivery. If your wife is in good shape she will get back to "normal" fairly soon, but she will never be the same again. Keep a close eye on her and help her through any postpartum blues which might evolve; this includes seeing the doctor if the blues don't dissipate in a fairly short period. The baby will always make his/her needs known by fussing or crying. There is a surprising new way to understand what the baby's cry means, which can reduce the frustration of getting a baby calm and happy when they are really upset. There is a video and you can also get more info on Oprah's website. I don't know what coursework you will be taking but don't make it too demanding this first go round until all three of you are more comfortable with the new routine of all of you living out in the world together. Good luck and congratulations.

Answer 3

Well the demands are pretty high but it is all in how you handle it. If you go into it knowing this little baby will be eating every couple of hours at all hours of the day and night and knowing that in the down time a house must be maintained you aren't in for a huge suprise when it happens.
Your wife will love anything you can do to help out around the house and if she is bottle feeding those times you can let her catch up on some sleep while you feed and change the baby.
Your wife has gone through nine months of growing a baby, given birth and if she is breast feeding the demand on her body is still there. Rest and knowing those little "burdens" are taken care of, like dishes, laundry, dinner, dusting, etc are done or that you will help her with them will be great.
Let her go out to get the groceries and shop a little while you stay home with the baby. She will appreciate the "me time"
Two months of your help and being there will be a great help because by two months a lot of baby are either sleeping through the night or only getting up once (maybe twice) to feed.
There will be a routine that makes it all manageable in the end.
Congrats and best of luck

Answer 4

Wow, this is a biggie! First & foremost, if you are available to have 6 months off then do that.

Your wife is going to be sooooo overwhelmed, she might just slip out the back door & return when the baby is 2 years old.

I am not being negative, I am just stating the facts.

Ask some of your married friends what they went through when they had a newborn in the house.

If they love you, they will tell you the hard-core truth!

If they don't want to alarm you, they will sugar coat the newborn issues to no avail.

Many women suffer from post-partum depression, sleep deprivation, weight gain, lack of energy and their social life disappears like Houdini!

Those are just a few of the many things women experience, after the birth of a child.

Please stay with your wife & the baby as long as you can.

Not only does the baby need to be monitored, so does your wife.

Remember this: Your newborn won't always be an infant!

As time goes by, the baby will grow up and once again, your lives will flourish.

Blessings to you & your family!

Answer 5

It'll be a lot, and I'd recommend putting off grad school for about a year or else do the first semester, then take a break during the next semester. When I got pregnant I finished my semester at college, then took a break for the rest of my pregnancy until my son was about 8 months old. He's almost a year now, but it's still a little rough going to school and taking care of him. But the first three months are the hardest, so I highly recommend avoiding school during that time. Both baby and mom will need your help, and you'll be getting little sleep, so you don't need to add more stress.

Answer 6

I can speak from experience when I tell you this (I have a 15 month old). Your wife is going to be so exhausted, she is going to be amazed that she is actually still alive. Newborns require CONSTANT attention. The only time she will catch a break is while the baby sleeps. Some people will tell you to sleep while the baby does, but I found that impossible. Thats the only time I had to do things like shower, eat, or maybe straighten up the house. Back when my baby was a newborn, my husband worked 10 hour days, 5 days a week. It is do-able, but the most important thing is to give your wife breaks as often as possible. Just the act of giving birth is going to make her exhausted, and then she has a baby to care for on top of that.

I hope I am not scaring you, I just want to be honest. Its very hard at first, but it is all SO worth it. When I heard my son wail for the first time, it changed me forever. I was never a religious person, but sometimes when I was holding my baby as he slept, and I could feel his breath on my face, and his little soft hand holding mine, I would tear up and thank God for giving me such a precious gift. You will be amazed at the ammount of love the baby has for you and your wife. Good luck, and congrats!!

Answer 7

If you'll also be working full time also, dont do it. If its just school full-time thats ok, but then again it depends on the subject and your study habits. Frankly some people have an easier time with school then others, plus the subject matter, for instance if its something where you have lots of group projects and dont have control as much over the schedule.

You never know when the baby, you, or your wife is going to have a hard night with no sleep. Plus the difference in this than when you say pulled an all nighter or two for school or work - is a baby can be constant all-nighters, week after week after week. This really takes a pyschological toll on the parents (sleep depravation is a form of torture)

Answer 8

Having 2 months off is wonderful! Not all father's have this luxury.

I had to do it all alone, but let me tell you... having someone to check on my girl when i needed to sleep would have helped out a whole lot. Your baby will want to eat every 2-3 hours, including during the night. If you and your wife can work out a schedule so she can sleep through one of those feedings, she will love you for it. Don't forget, she will be exhausted after the delivery and for some reason, the hospital stay will not be enough for recuperation. Those nurses are in and out very often and then there are other nurses, her doc, the baby's doc, researchers, lactation consultants, etc stopping by for visits. When she first comes home, try to get her some food, rest and plenty of water.

Good luck!

Answer 9

I am the Mom of a 9 week old son. All I have to say is have patience with your wife. My husband took off 2 weeks and the first day he went back to work, I wanted to cry. It is very hard with a baby that only wants to eat,sleep,poop and cry. Take the baby from your wife when u can see she is gettign frustrated. Let her have some mom time with out the baby. And please, do not go hang with you buddies or make plans with out talking to your wife first. You will also need to be patient with baby. When he/she cries, keep cool because if you get aggrivated, your wife will then get aggrivated. Your job for the first few months are to keep cool and do what the wife says. Good luck. Parent hood is the best thing in the world.

Answer 10

That's different for every couple and every baby. In my case, with our first baby, the first few months are a blur -- little sleep, baby blues, recovery from a difficult labor and a baby who had reflux all combined to make it tough. We thought we were so prepared too. We'd read tons of books, gotten advice from everyone, took all the classes the hospital offered. Nothing and no one can really prepare you for life with a newborn. You just have to experience it for yourself. At the time, I thought it would never end. Now, I look back on those days fondly.