My husband has cheated on line with me a few times. We are trying to work though these things, however every time he acts nice or dose something sweet (wich isnt alot) to me it is fake..so is it me or is it really me picking up on how fake he is?
2007-06-18 05:51:46 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is the one saying hell change dont leave ect....he dosent want me to leave, we have a son, and i had 3 kids when we married. we have been married 3 years...and i do everything for this man...so why. deff lost here.
2007-06-18 06:03:51 · update #1
if you feel it is fake, than it probably is. go with your gut feeling.
2007-06-18 05:55:06 · answer #1 · answered by Marvin P 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe when you go married you got married for the wrong reasons. You are not alone in this one. Love is truly blind and sometimes we dont see the important things that would anoy us in the future such as how insincere your husband can be. I have to say that you should be commended for trying to work through these issues with your husband, I can not say I would be so kind. Maybe you need to bump up the work a bit and seek counceling as a couple. There is no shame in needing help and it may help your husband to see that what he is doing is hurting you, and in the same token help you see why he cheated in the first place as I am sure some of the blame falls on your shoulders and you just dont see why or how. Although your husband is the one that did wrong, something must have happened between the two of you to lead him a stray. Good luck, I hope everything works out for the best for both of you.
2007-06-18 05:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by shadowsthathunt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably seems fake because the nice things he does are symbolic and not real in terms of benefit for you.
When a guy buys you flowers, then this is symbolic love because the flowers can only make people feel nice but they cannot help them in any real way.
But when a guy washes the dishes for you or does something that takes hard work and time in order to benefit you in some way. Then it's not symbolic any more. And these kinds of love gestures usually appear real.
Of course, another reason why a guy's love can seem fake is inconsistency. If one day he is nice to you and the next day he is not. Then it's hard to see his love as real. Because real love is a constant feeling that doesn't change much over time.
Perhaps your husband does want to change. But he doesn't know how to change well. A good marriage counsellor probably can help both of you a lot.
Get some marriage counselling is what I suggest to both of you.
2007-06-18 06:09:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch the dud.
He wants a live-in maid & a fall back piece of @ss. If he really loved you he wouldn't cheat on you & would treat you like a queen every day instead of once in a blue moon. When he did good things for you (even if it's something as simple as making you a cheese sandwich) it would feel genuine.
There's no working through this, at least on your part. He's the one who's continuing to cheat, even as he's trying to patch up your marraige. Some marraiges can't be saved. Leave now for the sake of your kids. Do you really want them to grow up thinking that this is the way love should be, or losing respect for you b/c you couldn't leave?
2007-06-18 06:18:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Gina, I am sorry to say this but you should have notice how fake your husband is the first time he cheated on you. And then he did it a few more times. Once he cheated on you that just said that the whole wedding, vows, and the life you had with him before is a fake. Wake up and smell the coffee because this life that you are choosing is not one that you need.
2007-06-18 05:58:11 · answer #5 · answered by williep197502 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a sis who has gone thorugh similar stuff and yes they act fake to try to convince you that everything is fine, but the fact is that if he has/is cheating on you even if it's online or in chat rooms.... he would do it with a real person... so I would advice you to dump this guy and look for a man that will respect you and love you for who you are and appreciate you.... First of all you deserve better no matter what and there's so many fish in the sea..... God Bless!
2007-06-18 05:59:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may just be pulling away from him and still holding a grudge for what hes put you thru. Believe me Ive been there and my point of view you can forgive but you ll never forget. My marriage ended on account he couldn't stop cheating. And I felt everything he done with me or for me was fake. Like he was just pretending he cared. And I know it hurts but girl its not worth you trying if hes not going to. There's to much out there to waste your time with an *** hole!! Just hang in there and do what you think is best for YOU!!
2007-06-18 06:03:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your being smart and picking up on his sweetness. His type will say anything to keep his wife off his back. When someone has to be fake in a relationship something is wrong. Good Luck
2007-06-18 05:55:42 · answer #8 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By "fake" you mean "insincere". You don't really believe he's trying to work things out with you, and you don't believe he's changed. It's his job now to gain your trust back. If he doesn't, your relationship may not last. However, one more thing, I don't really believe that it's "cheating" to talk online to other women. I wouldn't really like it either, but unless there was physical contact, I don't think it's being unfaithful or cheating.
2007-06-18 05:57:02 · answer #9 · answered by cynthiajean222 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi
If your gut is sayin fake LISTEN to it take the cheatin scoundrel to court abd find someone decent...there is never a good excuse to cheat..it lack of talkin and understandin half the time till problem so big they feel the need to find someone who "understands them" my guess is the nice stuff is to keep you sweet while he does it again
2007-06-18 05:55:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a good sign that he is a very fake person.
You say you think things he does are fake combined with the fact that he cheats with you online...
He's not a good one, that's all I can say.
Only he knows WHY he is so fake and unfaithful.
Sorry.
2007-06-18 05:54:45 · answer #11 · answered by Aardvark 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋