How can I have my 14 year old stepson legally removed from my home?

Question

I am currently in the middle of a divorce of my wife of 4 years and my stepson refuses to do anything I tell him, he purposely breaks my possessions when I am at work and threatens me under his breathe. His mother is aware of it and she either acts dumb or denies the whole thing. Rather than have a confrontation with him and possibly getting me in hot water, I would like to have him removed. My lawyer hasn't said anything about it yet, but i wanted to see if anyone out there can suggest something. The house is 100% in my name and I pay just about all the bills.

Also, what if he does assault me, what rights do I have?

Thank you

Thank you for your answers. I weould love to kick them all out, but accordiung to NY law, I cannot do that, until divorce is final, and that could take 90 days or so. Since the home is 100% in my name, there is nothing I can do?

p.s. by the way dark ostrich, I am 6ft 4in and 225, I think I can take of myself...moron

Also, I notcied that several people asked about if i adopted him. No thank for that. He is 100% his mother problem. We were pretty close until this has happened. I believe his mother is mostly responsible for his actions. she never wanted me to intervene.

I do appreciate all the answers, well most. To claify something, I do not wish to kick him in the streets or anything like that. I simply want to have him legally removed. Many think "poor child", but he is the same child who gets suspended from school for his racial outburts in front of other and fighting. This is also the same child who, a year ago, though it was funny as hell, to throw our family cat downstairs with so much force, that the cat's spine was broken and had to be put too sleep.

Answer 1

If he assaults you, call the police. You can have him taken away on assault charges. As for having him removed from the house, I don't know that you can do that unless you have his mother removed, too.

Answer 2

This is a troubled kid. And yet you say you were somewhat close until this happened. Have you thought of getting the opinion of a counselor who could then get the two of you together? I hesitate to say the three of you because it could get sidetracked into squabbling about the marriage and divorce.
What would happen is a big question would be answered =- whether you and he had some interaction that helped the divorce to happen. Or whether he and his mother had some falling out that made it hard for the 'family' to stay together. Even tough rough problem kids need family and a sense of responsibility - knowing what they are responsible for. They can actually feel responsible for a parent leaving. That may even be the case here.
He really hates you to break your possessions and threaten you under his breath. I wonder how it is that you two could have been close before.
Ask your lawyer if there is any way that you can leave the house and remove your possessions and then they can leave together when the legalities have been decided for everything. Why would a son want to leave without his mother?
If he assaults you, the best thing to do would be to call the police. Not hit him back. He may be strong but he's 14.
I have to say - I feel bad for both of you. There's a reason why society stresses the need for a stable home. It's better for kids and he IS a kid. A scary, angry kid but still a kid. A kid needs both a mother and a father and they know it. Everyone knows it. Notice I said one of each.

Answer 3

First, try talking to the boy. Remember, you are divorcing him also. You are the second man to leave him. He is going thru a hard time. Do you plan on avoiding him in the future and having no contact? If you will have contact, try counciling. If for no other reason than it make you look like the good guy. Do not bad mouth his mom around him, she is the only one by his side right now. This boy needs a man to show him what it is like to be a man and not a bully.

Re the house: Unless you have a prenup, or your wife signed away her rights to it, most likely she is owns a piece of the house also.

Why is your attorney not responding to you? You may need a new atty.

If he assualts you, call the police. Do not hit him! They will take him away for domestic abuse.

Answer 4

Hi There,
I do feel for you mate,
I hope that you are able to sort this out but here is my advice....
If you are able to move out till the divorce is over do so for your safety and also the sons, The other option is that if he breaks anything you have him charged with vandalism and threats...
When you go to court tell the judge what has been happening and also then what stress it has caused you.
Catalog everything that he has damaged and the replacement cost of these things as in the courts you can get the mother to pay for these things and also have a better case for the divorce.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, I think you are screwed and going to have to tough this one out. Keep in mind he's a child so maybe the old proverb "ignore him and he'll quit" will work here. Otherwise, get with your attorney and see what they can do to speed up this divorce. If you call the cops on the kid, you'll look like the bad guy because he's just an "innocent child". Your best bet is a speedy divorce or an impartial 3rd party to back you if you have to call the police. Good luck with that one. I don't envy you one bit!

Answer 6

This is a very scary situation, maybe you should ask your attorney again for advice. It would seem to me that if this child is so violent then someone should be able to intervene, possibly child protective services. You may be able to get a restraining order against your wife and this boy if you go to family court and tell them what is going on in the house, it would be ugly, but it might work, especially if you can document the abuse of the cat and the threats to you as well as his acting out in school. His mother obviously is choosing to ignore this problem, and that makes her more guilty than him, she is supposed to the the adult. Good Luck

Answer 7

Stop engaging . Do not argue and do not try to enforce rules. Ignore all behaviour, good and bad.

See a psychologist and try to have a behaviour management program designed and implement it.

Things usually get worse before they get better so be persist ant in your own behaviour.

Try to understand the child's dilemma. His " father" is divorcing not only his mother but him. He is confused. Children see thing in black and white and tend to think everything is their fault. It is possible that engaging you in confrontations and instigating ill will between you and him he believer he is helping to olveviate matters between you and his mother.He may believe by hurting you he is helping his mother. 4 years is a long time to a child, this is his life and his home and his family. He has been blindsided and does not know how to react.

In this situation he needs help and it may be your responsibility to find this help for him. You accepted him when things were good and now you are dumping him, rejecting him along ith his mother.
He need the wisdom that comes with insight and a professionals guidance. .

Try to step outside yourself and give it some quiet thought, you may decide that this relationship you have had for 4 years with him is worth saving.

The things he is breaking and sabotaging are only things. His life is not a thing but it too is broken. just like a broken heart. You all need help through this transition. .

Meet him halfway and suggest councilling to try and difuse the situation. You still may want to save the relationship. When you took this family on as your own your promise to him was to a ten year old boy. He and you had an agreement. Children are shattered psychologically he when their dreams are unfulfilled. We do terrible things to children. It is important to not compound the mistakes by hating them too. They may never recover.

You have the same rights as any one who has been assaulted. Assault is a crime but I suspect the child just wants the problem to go away, but is afraid to leave his mother unprotected because he thinks he is responsible now for her well being. I assume you think he could go and live with his real father of a grandparent. This may not be feaasable to him in his mind.

I think you should have them both removed, you can help them find a place and get situated or leave the home yourself. Your house will still be your house but whatever you do ,do not engage in arguments and blaming. These are not solutions.Try to get help with all the problems of divorce not just the legal ramifications of a bitter financial split. Good luck.

Answer 8

Dude, you need a group home! I would call the Dept of children's services or what have you in your area and ask them about housing an encourageable teen.This child seems clearly neglected and is acting out his pain & anger to the tenth power there. He is a deviate from what you wrote, and there are laws that apply to juviniles as well. Charges should have been pressed against him re: the animal cruelty, as well as invasion of privacy and vandalism.
Get on the phone and file a report or two, his mother cannot stop you, those threats should NOT be taken lightly either; the authority's can handle it from there.

Answer 9

WOW you sure have been a loving father here. Nice work. Are you suggesting that you are going to let your wife stay and throw her child out the door? Stunningly sickening. When she moves, he moves. Ask your lawyer, since this is a sicko question, a sicko would know the answer for sure. I mean for gods sake you wrote this as if you are asking how to have a wart removed! You are an awful human being! He is in the middle of his childhood and having a very traumatizing event. Can't you put your expensive/precious crap locked up for a few weeks/months until they move out? You are truly a loathsome creature when you talk like this. No wonder you are getting divorced. Disgraceful!!

Answer 10

Coupla pieces of information you did not share. First, if the 14 year old has not been adopted by you, he should not be in your home at all, in the absence of his mother. If she is absent, you need to remove him to her pronto. If she is still in the home, you are not getting a divorce. If you have adopted him, he is your son, and you cannot divorce him. Shoulda thought about that when you adopted him! If you have adopted him, your only recourse after counseling and other cooperative endeavors is to contact the juvenile authorities and work with them, just like he was your natural son. Good luck; I am sorry you are in this situation. Both for you and the 14 year old child.

Answer 11

If you can't have his mother legally removed, you'll never be able to get her son removed. She is his guardian, so he has to stay in her care. If he assaults you, you can call the police and press charges the same as if anyone else assaulted you. You will probably have to live with him for a few more months. Is it possible to put most of your belongings in storage until he's gone? It may be the only way to keep your stuff safe.