Has anyone been arrested for Harrassment of EX WIFE? Is it fair?

Question

I would like to see my children without having to go through the courts.

My Ex-wife and I tried getting back together about 3 years ago obviously with no success. Since that falling out I have been arrested by the police for harrassing her under the harrassment act 1997 for writing to her asking for her forgiveness and the oportunity to see my children. There is obviously more to it and I do not want to make out she is the bad person just interested in whether this has become a modern trend.

I made a promise not to go through the courts. The last time I was arrested I went to court and was found not guilty. The only people I see gaining are solicitors, Judges and the rotten end of the stick is the Police, Children and the parents.

I agree that if my ex-wife and I can not sort out this problem between us, then how would we sort out any other problems that may arise in the future. Through the courts? I would hope that as adults we could grow up and not involve others. I hope she will find the ability to forgive and move on.

I was more interested in whether this was becoming a trend? As then there is evidence that the act is being used or abused and not for it's original purpose. I have no desire to cause her any harm!

I was a child in the 70's and even then the ridiculous political correctness that exists today did not. Police were able to tell couples who were having a "Domestic" not to be stupid and communicate with one another. The TREND I see is that the political correctness has placed fear in people and instead of making things safe has in fact caused a massive Void to be created in people being able to say what they mean and mean what they say.

If things were the other way around we would not be divorced.
I tried my best to please this woman, in the end she asked for a divorce, because I had given her everything else she wanted it seemed only right to give her the divorce. I regret allowing her the divorce, as I felt at the time we could work things out. Today I know because of the damage caused it is pointless looking at if's and's or but's and get on with my life. Thanks for your answers so far...

I have actually sent letters via a solicitor and Teresa has not responded. The last letter I sent apologised for any distress I may have caused, that I will respect her wishes and not contact her or the Children, however my door is always open in regard to the children and discussion relating to contact.

I am glad for the replies that have been given and even if no one actually answers the question they can see the responses.

It is a wise man/woman who can see and learn from anothers mistakes. When emotions are involved we sometimes become blind, maybe thats why there is a term "LOVE IS BLIND" as it is a double edged sword, you may see what someone is doing to you but ignore and accept it even though you would not normally or expect more and see more than there is and become disappointed at the lack rather than the abundance.

Answer 1

sounds like the best thing you can do is move on and start over. If you keep getting arrested then better chance you one day get found guilty. Sound like she does not want you and it is her choice. See I understand but I don't want my ex wife back and she is doing everything to make my life bad. She has gotten worse sense I remarried. I wish her the best but she treated me bad so I left. Now she is still doing it. So get on with your life and let her live her life.
I am just being honest not trying to be mean.

Answer 2

It doesn't matter if it is a trend or not. What would it solve in your case to find out it is a "trend"?
You must look at your experience objectively and not focus on the experience of others.
One must also wonder why you have been made to go through the courts in the first place?
Be honest with yourself.
Has or could your behaviour - had it happened the other way around - her to you - been construed as harrassment or unreasonable?
Only you can answer that and it doesn't matter what kind of "trends" are happening.
And, to answer your question since you probably won't be satisfied until you get the answer you're looking for.......
"No, it isnt' a modern trend unless you go back before the 70s". It depends on how long a time span you call modern.

Answer 3

stop worrying about the past and concentrate on the future.
you have children with this woman and you should really be concentrating on them.

i hope you still have contact with your children?
if your wife has gone as far as taking you to court for harrassment i really don't think you will be able to have an amicable relationship reguarding the children.

sort out another way to see the children and just leave the woman alone. if she doesn't love you anymore then no amount of time or persistance will sort out your differences.

i know that the stress of breaking up can make you do mad things but just take it as a warning that you were found not guilty of harrassment last time and move on.

i think that a mediator is a good idea for you maybe you can pick your children up from a family member and drop them back there so you don't have to have anymore contact with your wife.

you will definately have to go to a solicitor about this matter as you don't want to be in any more trouble for harrassment.
explain to your wife (through your solicitor) that you understand that it is over and you will leave her alone and are only interested in your children.

as time passes your wounds will heal. just be happy and be a good dad.

i really do wish you the best of luck

Answer 4

If an ex-wife decides that she doesn't want the childrens father to see them there is not a lot he can do about it unless he has a lot of money to fight for his rights to access in court.

UK family law is completely weighed against fathers. It is the most criminally unfair area of modern law there is, outdated and completely sexist.

I do not have any contact whatsoever with my ex-wife, as she was abusive, but I still see my kids almost every weekend. I did - at the time of my divorce (2002) - ask my solicitor what rights I had as a married father and she told me that I had the right to see my kids for 48 hours a year.

I am not violent, alcoholic or a drug user, nor was I cheating on my ex-wife. But the law said all I was allowed was 48 hours a year with my kids - unless I spent a good few thousand in court for more. This was if my ex refused me access, which didn't happen - even though she threatened me with this on several occasions (one of the many reasons I stopped contact with her)

Several women use the children as weapons against their ex's - failing to see that the ones who are really damaged by this are their own kids.

Your own situation seems to be different - your best course of action is to see a solicitor and avoid contact with your ex at all costs.

Answer 5

Sounds like there is more to that than you've told us. The police actually arresting you indicates that someone felt there were grounds to do so.
Seems pretty clear that you're not going to be able to handle this on your own. Please go through your lawyer, and get permission through the courts.
As to your question about trends, I suppose there are more people doing this these days. However, there are a lot of people out there who are having serious relationship problems. Probably a good thing that people do have recourse to protect themselves from harassment.

Answer 6

My ex called the police when I arrived to pick up my children for previously agreed contact. This was out of the blue (but about 4 weeks before the final settlement hearing at court), and I was told later by a disgusted mutual friend that it had been an attempt by my ex to sway any settlement in her favour, and increase CSA payments by attempting to reduce the childrens contact time with me.
Looking at various blogs at the time this seemed to be a recurring theme. Thankfully the judge saw through the ploy and a fair settlement was reached. However I was advised, and got, a contact order to secure the childrens access to me.

Answer 7

No woman can get a man arrested for harrassment unless she has some kind of reasonable proof. My guess is that you said quite a bit more in your letters to her than what you're telling us. My advice to you is to stop trying to contact her, period.

Answer 8

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/YWAdd

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 9

You should have every right to see your children and If you pay Child Support then you have every right to see them! The father of my daughter and I had the same problem but we wasn't married and they told me that he had every right to see her!Untill he threatend to run off with her adn now there visit are supervisied by a Professoional.If she won't let you take them alone then at least she counld do is find a place 3rd. party and let you see them suppervisied!That Crazy a father has ever right to see his children!Keep me posted!

Jessica

Answer 10

Why not go through the courts? It doesn't appear that you and your ex-wife can work this out between the two of you.