Still Miserable. Why?

Question

So its been a week now since my boyfriend left me. We have a 1 year old baby boy together and we were living together and out of no where, he was confused about what he wanted and needed space. He continues to tell me he loves me and I know he does.He says that its nothing I did and that I was the perfect girlfriend. I love him very much and miss the hell out of him, Im miserable. I miss my family. Im trying to be strong for my son but its very hard. I know I need to give him his space so he can figure out what he wants out of life but how do you do that when you lived with this person and slept next to them every night and have talked to them every day then not being able to see him or talk to him at all.. I know he has alot of growing up to do and he needs to take responsability but I dont know how to not think about him and get passed the dissapointment.

he is 24 years old and i am 23..

And another thing, he has a 5 year old daughter he has full custody of and has been raising by himself for the last 4 years.

Answer 1

you put the cart before the horse.
You can not change what is done...
Your child needs you no matter if he comes back to you or not.
Unfortunately he is too immature for the responsibility of raising a child.
It will probably fall on your shoulders, so be prepared..
i am sure he cares for you but is unable to give up his own independence for a child.
he is self centered and wants what he wants with no constraints....
this will leave it up to you.
Having children while dating or living together is not always the best thing, but a marriage certificate doesn't promise anything is forever either....
You will have to take the bull by the horns and make sure your child is loved and taken care of...
You need to go to the court immediately and file for support for the child.
The financial burden on one parent is too great and it doesn't matter if he is mixed up, he has to pay for his part in this and help take care of the child.
Put your pride and hurt aside and get this done now... Do not wait around for him to make the move, you need to make the decision and do something now to protect your child's future....
do not put your life on hold for anyone while they make up their mind... take the reins and get moving.... there is no time to cry and feel sorry for yourself, be strong and get this done....
if you need an education to get a better job, get out and start working on that too... do not sit around, you will only get more depressed...
make something of yourself and be proud.. you are a mother and a strong woman..... show us what you are capable of...

Answer 2

I've got news for you honey. He doesn't want your life. This guy doesn't want to be a hubby & dad- he wants to be a swinging single guy. If one of the things he needs to do is to grow up & take responsibility, then he has no business in your life, especially if you have to raise a baby. Love is grand, but when you have a small child you have to start thinking about what's best for that child. The regret over not giving him the best life will be worse than the regret of ending this relationship today & not going back out with him.

Go out with friends, get a hobby, join a single parents group. Many in the single parents groups have been there before. They've had a SO who was the mom/dad of the kid & they kept trying to make it work, only to find that it was too broken to fix. They realized that it was negatively affecting their children, so they moved on. That's what you need to do.

You just need to take it one day at a time. Each day it will hurt a little bit less- I promise.

Answer 3

Sounds like the baby wasn't something either of you planned on, but he's a blessing none the less. It would have helped if you mentioned how old your bf was. Guys go through a midlife crisis not always but usually around 30-40. Similar to women and the ticking of the biological clock. Give him some time to figure things out, if he comes to his senses he will be back with you and your guys son. However if he does not a precedes to be a "dead-beat" dad you are going to have to file for child support and move on with your life. Good Luck!

Answer 4

The reason why it is hurting you so much is because you have gave every thing up for him, also because you wanted to start the family but people just get tired of spending their life with the same person they want to explore the world and find some thing better in life i mean i sure dont want to get tied down not every body does that why people give up on their family cause they want some thing new that probably what he wants cause i sure would get really tired of being in a relationship for an eternity but yeah i hope it answers your question so you can find reason in the world but yeah...

Answer 5

go spend time with your parents or sisters or someone like that. spend time with best friends. take your son out to places he likes. take him to see new places. keep yourself busy and when the time is right if your boyfriend still loves u he will contact u. if he dont then u need to move on and when u are ready to date again then go for it. but don't let dates take the time away that u need to give to your son. that baby boy needs his mommy more then a guy needs u.

Answer 6

Apparantly he needs space away from responsibility. Why not use your effort into something positive? Like trying to get some financial support from him for your son's sake.

Answer 7

he is using a cheap excuse to get out of Raising your kid lose the bum

Answer 8

your still miserable because itz been a week....did he say whether he was coming back