Would a gay person find this acceptable.....?

Question

The other day at the Gym, I noticed two women working out together. It was kind of obvious they were lesbians. (one was very butch and they were very together as a couple if you see what I mean).

Later I was in the changing rooms. The butch woman came over and without asking moved my towel out of the way to sit down and the other younger more feminine girl sat down on the next bench. I didn't think anything of it at the time other than that she was a bit rude moving my towel rather than asking me to move it. Then they both went in the showers. When they came out I'd moved over to the mirrors to dry my hair and the older woman just got dressed but the younger one put a towel on the floor and then sat on it with her legs wide apart and proceeded to dry her bits. I could see all this going on in the mirror and it totally grossed me out. I couldn't wait to get out of the changing rooms. Am I being homophobic (which I don't think I am) or would anyone be uncomfortable with that?

AnArdRi - I did, but not before I'd seen more than I wanted to see. My hairstyle suddenly became really interesting.

Rajeet K - Pray to Allah that one day he may give you the wisdom to keep your gob shut where you know your opinion is not wanted.

Answer 1

Speaking as a gay man, it sounds like the women are inconsiderate and have no class. No, you are not being homophobic, though I must admit that the women you describe would probably interpret it as such and make a scene if you were to say something. I think it's just as rude when I'm in the locker room and some (presumably straight) guy moves my stuff out of the way instead of politely asking me to move it. And, I don't believe it makes me "heterophobic" to feel uncomfortable when I'm trying to get dressed next to some (probably straight) guy who feels the need to spend 5 or 10 minutes lotioning up his various cracks and crevices in the locker room- as if this isn't something he can do in the privacy of his own home.

Answer 2

i think that they were possibly trying to provoke you into something more intimate, or they were just trying to have their own time. but in the long run, what they did was somewhat rude and impolite. it would be the same thing for a straight guy and a gay couple, moving your towel without asking, and then one of the guys spreading wide his legs and drying his nuts or something. i can see the towel thing as acceptable, yet a bit rough, but the drying off act was a bit overly sexual, as was unneeded.

Answer 3

That's not homophobic, that's reacting appropriately to an inappropriate situation. There's no need to be spread wide to dry your cash and prizes, although I'd look, but hey that's me. Just being honest. It's possible she didn't notice you could see her in the mirror, but still there should be a level of decorum everyone tries to follow. Personally I avoid the gym altogether so nobody has to be subjected to my pasty, doughy body, but again that's me. Yeah it is rude but things happen and life goes on. If it continually happens then maybe you should bring it up to management but otherwise don't sweat it. Treat it like one of doris' questions, block it out and move on.

Answer 4

As a gay woman myself that scene would disgust me too. What was she thinking! Did she really think that exposing herself like that is acceptable?
If she had been a man doing that you would have called the police. I know you were in a changing room and so would expect to see some naked flesh but not for heavens sakes, someones bits!

Answer 5

No, you weren't being homophobic, they were being rude. Very much so, I must say, and going out of their way to do it as well. If this continues at your gym, you may want to speak to your liason about them and have her warn them about their over the top behavior. No one wants to see someone else's bits and moving someone's towel is bad form. they're doing it for shock value and it should be stopped.
Good luck.

Answer 6

Gay men muck about in the changing room at my gym, but everyone there is quite friendly and the straight men know who the gay ones are and vice versa. Everyone gets on well and accepts it.
Personally, if the equivalent to this behaviour happened in my gym, I don't think it would bother anyone.

Answer 7

my goodness those women are so rude. I myself am gay but i hate it when i go to the changing rooms in a swimming pool and there are these old guys just walking around nude with their bits swinginig about. I dont want to see it! Just because were all guys in there doesnt mean you cant cover youself up. I dont have a problem with other peoples buisness i just prefer if the buisnessmen are suited.

Answer 8

Sorry, but where does the fact that she is a lesbian come into it? Not saying you are homophobic, but I was just wondering.

I do think that is indecent though, but it was probably just an innocent mistake. I don't think a gay person would find it acceptable, as anyone else.

Answer 9

Has nothing to do with ones sexual orientation. It was a bit rude i have to admit. But, you are in a lockerroom at a gym. People shower there ya know... Probably use the toilet too.

Answer 10

There's some homophobia inherent in the fact that you're posting this in the gay/lesbian section and are focused on their perceived sexual orientation (as well as choosing to label their gender expression without having asked them whether they identify as butch/femme).

Honestly? It's a locker room. People dry themselves in locker rooms. If it's already somewhere where nudity is acceptable, what's the difference between drying her vulva and drying her elbow? She was practicing good hygiene.