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my boyfriend has a daughter and I love kids. recently he told me that "it scares him how into his daughter I am and that I am suppose to still love him too" I am not going out of my way to be super nice to his daughter I am just being who I am. If I dont show an interest in his daughter than Im not good with kids and Im not good for him... If i show "too much" interest it scares him. What do I do?

2007-06-18 04:32:49 · 24 answers · asked by I know best 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

24 answers

Did you try talking to him about his contradiction?
Explain to him how you feel about all this, and ask him about what he expects from you.

Most importantly, explain to him that he has to give you a chance to be yourself.

2007-06-18 04:37:30 · answer #1 · answered by ✿Purple✿ 5 · 0 0

It really does depend on how you act around his daugther. Everytime the three of you are together do you focus most of your attention on the daughter? Do you talk to the daughter more than your boyfriend? Do you constantly buy the daughter gifts or take her places? Do you insist the daughter is always with you when you two go out or spend time together? Do most of your conversations focus around his daugther. If this is true then you may in fact be showing too much interest. However, if it is not, you need to sit down and have an in depth conversation with your boyfriend about his daughter, this may be a sticky relationship for you to continue in. Finding the perfect balance is hard, communicating with your boyfriend may help that however.

2007-06-18 04:38:41 · answer #2 · answered by blue_girl 5 · 0 0

Honey- most men would LOVE for a woman to have a connection with their child. Most men would LOVE to know that their spouse has a good maternal instincts (especially if the child is not one's own)...his reaction is GUY CODE...which he really mean...
1.He may not be that into you and doesnt want his child to be greatly affected if you all break up.
2. You are the one- he can tell by how you interact with his daughter- but this scares him as he is not ready to completely settle.
3. He may think you are "chalking it up" with his daughter just to impress him...

But- dont feel bad for being you- make no apologies- tell him to take it or leave it!

Never compromise yourself for a man.

2007-06-18 04:53:43 · answer #3 · answered by Enchanted One 5 · 0 0

The best thing to do is to talk about it. You should always be yourself, so the first thing you need to think about is not changing your attitude. He could be uncomfortable with the situation for several reasons. You should find out why he could be uncomfortable, possibly because he feels that he is responsible for his daughter and doesn't want you to get involved, that he doesn't want to feel like he is constructing a family with you, there are lots of possibilities. Another thing to take into consideration is the relationship he and his daughter have with her mother: the problem could be there.
Be yourself and try to talk it out, don't forget to show your boyfriend some affection too! Best of luck.

2007-06-18 04:39:04 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly 2 · 0 0

Ask him just that. H should be glad you are taking to his daughter, lots of women would not accept an man who already has a child.
Sounds like you and his daughter get along very well and he sees this. There are men who get jealous even after their wife has a baby. I guess some men just can't get enough of their woman and they want their woman's attention and affection 24/7.
You both need to talk it out.

2007-06-18 04:41:39 · answer #5 · answered by Momwithaheart 4 · 0 0

tell him how you feel. say you are confused about what he wants - if he wants to be a family then reassure him he is your no 1 priority and make time for him. tell him not to be scared.

it seems he is concerned for his daughter, he needs someone who will be good to her but may be afraid if you break up his daughter will be upset.

2007-06-18 04:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by tspoonteddy 2 · 0 0

back off a little bit, and tell him to keep you informed of when he feels like you are creeping him out. Tell him you just really like kids and that you didn't know you were freaking him out. Communication is always the best answer. And inform him of how much he really means to you.

2007-06-18 04:36:52 · answer #7 · answered by NANCY J 5 · 0 0

Don't exchange one for the other. Do activities that include them both--ones that give you the opportunity to express love and interest for both of them. Men love to be someone's hero, so if you love him, you have to treat him like you do. You can't just expect him, or anyone, to just know. That's how love fades, that's how love fails.

2007-06-18 04:37:49 · answer #8 · answered by the_ivy_vine 5 · 0 0

I think your boyfriend is being a little childish maybe even selfish about the situation. Just tell him exactly how you feel, like the way you explained it in your question.

2007-06-18 04:39:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous 1 · 0 0

Don't be too much. Just be nice to his daughter. He can sense that whether u r truly like her or not. so just dont push yourself too much. good luck!

2007-06-18 04:37:43 · answer #10 · answered by Butterfly 2 · 0 0

Someone definitely has issues. To me, it sounds like he uses his daughter just to meet women.

2007-06-18 04:38:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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