What shall i do if i found out that my female best friend is having an illicit affair with my married brother? it really shocked me when i discovered that she is dating with my brother. My brother and his wife are leaving separately because of separate jobs but they are not divorce. When i found out the affair i was raging mad. I can't be a good friend to her anymore for the sake of the wife.I not talking to the girl anymore. She comes in the company where my brother and i together in family business and she wants to be part of the business of which i not happy at all. I cannot be working together harmoniously with her. I need help because i not happy with this kind of situation because i feel for the wife and i feel for our business and i don't understand my brother's decision its his personal life but my family is involve. I don't know what to think anymore.
2007-06-18 04:06:17 · 16 answers · asked by Angelique 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The woman is too obsess and my brother is falling.. and she does'nt care if my brother got a wife and she knows that they are not divorce and she is trying to get my brother so he can divorce his wife and be with her. This is the situation now. I not jealous its not that, its more of my concern for my sister-in-law. We've been talkin bout this woman with my brother for a year now but the thing is my brother does'nt admit that they are having an affair but the woman is flaunting it as if telling the whole world that they are happy with their relationship and she proud of it. She does'nt care at all and by the way , this woman is married too and she left his husband for my brother. What do u think of her? As of now i have no plans of looking for another job because she might take over my position and i dont like it to happen. The woman is little by little ruining and hurting our family especially our mother. Its realy mind bugging ..I need to know the right decision for me...pls
2007-06-18 06:17:10 · update #1
It's always need two hands to make a sound. Your best friend shouldn't have come into such mess, but your brother was equally need to be blamed, in fact, he is the major cause of the problem to cheat on his wife. This is not his personally life, when someone married, it's meant two families being brought together to be one.
You need to put some sence into him. If he refuse to listen to any advise, let him take bear consequences and not you.
2007-06-18 22:45:04 · answer #1 · answered by Tan D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Since the two of you are involved in a family business, you HAVE to keep working with him even if you don't agree with what he's doing. And at the same time, you really seem to care about his wife.
You've done the right thing by cutting the mistress out of your life. Now sit your brother down and talk to him. Tell him that you do not in any way, shape or form agree with what he's doing with this woman, and how it's hurting his marriage and affecting the business. Explain to him that she needs to go away, and leave the business alone entirely since her unneeded presence there makes you uncomfortable.
In situations like this, I've always wondered what I'd do. Would you want someone you're close to, like a family member, to keep the fact that your husband was cheating on you a secret? Or would you be happier just not knowing? She'll find out on her own someday, because wives always do. And it will hurt her to know you kept it from her for so long.
Good luck!
2007-06-18 12:37:48 · answer #2 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely cut the friend loose from your life. That's not so easy to do with your brother, especially if you run a business with him. Maybe see if he can buy you out just so you don't have to deal with the hanky-panky going on over there.
I'm not clear as to whether you are saying that your brother and his wife are seperated or just live separately. There's a big difference there. If they are separated, then there's probably a reason for that. They might be headed to the divorce court and your brother is just getting ready to move on with his life. Sucks that he can't wait 'til it's final, but what can you do?
Your brother is an adult and capable of making his decisions and his mistakes where he can. You could always invite your sister-in-law out for lunch and ask her to pick you up at the office. Make sure it's on a day when you know both your brother and your friend are there. Then you can just say that you had no idea that SIL would find out.
2007-06-18 11:19:32 · answer #3 · answered by Randy M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey well I hope your family don't approve with this situation and is sad because if your sister en-law finds out she would parable think you were part of getting them together. I hope you tell some one in your family. Tell your brother if he don't love his wife to divorce her that way she can find some one who can make her happy. And that friend you had stay away she is not a friend if she is doing that with your brother then she would do it to you if you are in a relation or how nose she parable did ( I hope not) well good luck.
2007-06-18 11:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by smariona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, as a co-owner of the business, that you have a say on who should or shouldn't work there. I also believe that your brother's personal life is affecting his business life, and therefore your life, in a negative way and he is out of line expecting you to support a life style that you are not comfortable with and have problems with. He doesn't have the right to thrust his personal issues on his family and the family business - he is out of line and I would suggest that you tell him that you would appreciate it if he would keep his personal life out of THE FAMILY'S business during working hours.
2007-06-18 11:22:59 · answer #5 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to whoever is in charge of the business and make sure she does not get into it. It will destroy his marriage and maybe even the business. Plus the whole family will be involved and the work environment will be hard. Talk to your brother and make him understand what he is doing is wrong.
2007-06-18 11:25:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your brother that you know what's going on...and you're going to tell his wife if he doesn't. Give him a few days to tell his wife..and if he doesn't tell her, you tell her. If I were the wife...I would want to know so that I could make the decision on whether to leave him. I would not sit quietly and let this all happen. Your families honor is at stake here.
2007-06-18 11:28:43 · answer #7 · answered by 2Bme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother & this girl also knows that the family & family business is involved. Be mad and get over it or get another job.
2007-06-18 11:25:11 · answer #8 · answered by tundra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing by not being friends with the other lady, as far as your brother, tell him he should get some professional marriage counseling, that's all you really can do... it's mostly important to tell him how you feel, but he's going to make his own choices, just be supportive over all... you don't have to worry about this kind of stuff because it's not your problem, it's his..
2007-06-18 11:48:14 · answer #9 · answered by honey buckets 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem to of made yourself the moral police of your family.
You kind of remind me of my little sister who is a born again Christian, very judgmental.
I think you need to take a step back and realize other people are allowed to live their own lives and made their own decisions and learn from them. You don't have to like it, but also only your opinion. I say this from already being on both side of an affair.
2007-06-18 11:29:55 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋