Think that you are a very ambitious person and what matters most in ur life is ur career. So u fall in love with this guy but since he is not THAT successful u don't marry him. Instead u go and marry a VERY rich businessman so that he can aid in ur success. He however marries u because he loves u.
Then one day ur husband suffers badly and is broken and looks to u for support and says he doesn;t care about money as long as u r there with him. U like him a lt and u have grown quite attached to him but u want to leave him because he is worthless now. I left him. So why is everyone so mad at me?
My reason _ He is supposed to love me so why does he want me to share his misery with him and suffer ?
2007-06-18 03:23:33 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, I didn't leave him but I plan to. One sid eof me says - Leave him. Other side says - When did u become so disloyal?
I really don't know what to do -
Here is a piece of our converstion-
Me - I had enough of this. I know u need me but I can't stand this filth anymore.
Him - What !!! Please, don't ! What about our marriage vows ? I thoguht u loved me !
Me - I do, but I can;t jus tpush away my carrier !
Him - Don't! Just give time. I will get back, just one chance. All I need is u, just stay with me, I personally don't give a damn about the ******* money. All that matters is us ...
Me - Un r not getting the point ...
Him - Yes I am. U want success, just wait. We can bounce back together like we always did before. All I want is ur trust and company ...
O, yes, we ran the same company and worked together as a team.
What bugs me is - IF HE LOVES ME WHY DOES HE WANT ME TO SUFFER WITH HIM. AREN'T U SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT UR LOVE BEFORE URSELF ??
2007-06-18 03:47:12 · update #1
OMG your a prostitute, you sold yourself for money and success. your the kind of women that gives hookers a bad name
2007-06-18 03:33:19 · answer #1 · answered by David S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is mad at you because you come across as a gold digger! You may not be, but it looks that way to others. Marriage is supposed to be for richer or for poorer. It is quite understandable that your husband looked to you for support and understanding. If we all married for the same reason, there would be no marriages, as no one wants to think that if they get into financial trouble they will be left alone! Did your husband know that you married him without love? I don't know you, but you sound like a very selfish and hard hearted woman. It is sad to think that money is the only thing that matters to you, and I feel deeply sorry for you, that you have never felt the deep, emotional satisfaction of love.
2007-06-18 10:33:53 · answer #2 · answered by sparrow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a very bad person, how can you do that to someone? How would you feel if the role was reversed and you were badly hurt and the man you were in love with left you because you were "worthless" now? Karma is a *****, just remember that! I seriously hope the same thing happens to you! You are a SELFISH gold-digger! When you finally become successful and wealthy, some guy will marry you for your money, and leave you broke and bankrupt! Please let me know when that happens so I can laugh about it!
2007-06-18 10:32:01 · answer #3 · answered by Vampiric Angel 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sitting here shaking my head at your actions .
You promised 'for better or worse, in sickness and in health" etc ; so now being a user and very selfish to boot , you finagle a way out because you haven't got the stomach to stand by the person that loves you and needs your support .
Someday you also will be worthless, trust me, old age does that . There is something called the universal equalizer , we all will be infirm someday and hopefully are NOT attached to someone with your attitude .
2007-06-18 10:47:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
While the purpose of marriage can indeed be to help you succeed in your dreams whatever they may be, it is in fact to have someone in your life who cares. It is to form a mutually supportive union of two people to build a life that meets not only individual needs but also mutual needs and to have a partner upon whom you can rely when things get really tough.
Marriage has at times, particularly among the royalty been a business transaction to forge alliances and so forth, but that's never been its primary goal. The nice thing about the royalty of the past was that they could afford help and friends since they had lots of money and power.
Us ordinary schmucks however get married to have mutual support. It seems to me that this is exactly what you got from your husband, a lot of support so that you could succeed in your dreams. So now it's his turn. Now he needs you to help make his remaining time more meaningful and happy. Support always works both ways.
Why are people mad at you? Well it's simple enough. If you contracted with him for specific services and there was an opting out clause should he be able to deliver in the future, then it's perfectly reasonable to now back away when he can no longer deliver those services. However you didn't do that. Instead you married him, promising to be there for him through thick and thin. And now that he needs you, you've just abandonend him.
Perhaps he is supposed to love you, but he wasn't born to be your slave. He loved you and had the perfectly reasonable expectation that you loved him too. I bet you never told him that the only reason you married him was to further your career and that you had no intention of staying if he ever became unsupportive. Had you told him that before you married, then that would have been like a contract and your leaving now would be reasonable. By not telling him in advance and giving him a chance to back away from the marriage if he didn't agree with your terms one can argue that you have perpetrated a fraud.
He married you because he loved you and cared about you and the two of you entered into a deal where he reasonably could expect you to support him too. As such you have broken that contract. What that means in real terms varies depending on the culture or the local customs, one can argue it's immoral, it can be unethical at best, it can also be a fraud that you have perpetrated. I'm really not surprised at all that people are upset with you and will likely no longer trust you when they do you a favour assuming they will consider doing you favours in the future at all. I certainly would no longer trust you at all and I would no longer be willing to offer you any support now that I know what I'll just be abandonned if I need some support later on.
I will also say that there is justice in this life. Those who do not care for their fellow man (and woman), those who just take advantage of everyone to further their own dreams at the cost of the ones who help and care for/about them, they will find themselves eventually paying a horrific price. There will come a day when you too will need more than just support for your career, you'll need support to help you through a disease or even to make dying easier. There will come a time when you will have to retire from your career to make way for younger blood. At that point you'll be lonely and need a caring partner. At that point you may understand finally why everyone is mad at you today and perhaps at that point you'll also understand what you actually did to your husband.
Oh, and yes, regarding your final question - Aren't we supposed to place the one we love ahead of ourselves? - we are. But like all sayings that works both ways. Now is the time to place him ahead of your ambitions and goals and just show some love and caring. It seems to me that's what he had done for you for a long time.
Sayings are nice and they're certainly convenient when you want to make a point about how someone else should behave. However just keep in mind that they're not one sided, they apply equally to you and if you don't live up to the saying you are preaching people will simply call you a hypocrit and despise you in the process.
2007-06-18 11:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by Shutterbug 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For better or for worse, forsaking all others.
That's the line. It's not...
Until I'm not as happy or as totally completely fulfilled and taken care of financially as I should be.
You married him for his money and the success you could derive financially. You've proved it by leaving him at a time when he needs you more than ever. You've broken your vows which were supposed to be based in love and acceptance.
Why is everyone mad? Why wouldn't they be?
Your reason is a perfect example of why other's are angry with you and likely think you are cold and heartless. You used him and when he couldn't provide you what you were using him for anymore, you left.
Disgusting.
2007-06-18 10:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by lyricshade2003 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let's suppose your side of the business failed and he threw you out on your bum. How would you feel then?
Imagine it: You've failed. Are you worthless? If your man told you "You are worthless to me now that you aren't successful in your career. I can't look at you, you disgust me." how would you feel?
If you are smart, you will help your man get back up and on the horse. Most of the times a good spill is a step towards more success.
2007-06-18 12:41:37 · answer #7 · answered by pola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is upset with you because all your thinking about is your self. Someday you will be old and no one will want to help you either. When you married him it was for better or worse, richer or poorer and in sickness and in health this tells a lot about your character or lack of character, I hope you put away a lot of what you earn because your going to need it to pay someone to look after you in your old age. Money can buy a lot of things but it won't buy you unconditional LOVE....
2007-06-18 10:35:27 · answer #8 · answered by oma_30701 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find it a bit unbelievable you could be so cold. Unfortunately he loves you, obviously you just chased the cash. yes its wrong to be a user. You marry u agree to be there through the good and the bad. personally I don't blame every one for being angry with you,I'm surprised u even give a dam what anyone else thinks. Only when you truly love and have it tromp all over you, will you understand,I feel for your hubby Don't be so cruel.
2007-06-18 10:32:52 · answer #9 · answered by deb m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you used him for his money and when he no longer had the money - you walked away. It showed what type of person you are - you are not able to be a real friend - you are only in a relationship with anyone for what it can do for you, not because you really care about anyone.
The true you was revealed to all.
2007-06-18 10:29:56 · answer #10 · answered by Stefka 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Remember those marriage vows your took?
"In sickness and in health, for richer or pooer. In good times and bad"
If they were just words, you might as well have been saying the Sponge Bob lyrics.
You have exposed yourelf for what you are, a social-climbing gold-digger.
Money can't love you back
2007-06-18 10:32:14 · answer #11 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋